Ask Lemmy

The last thing they said. I'll never have to say "What?" 4 times in a row again.

Number of times they molested kids.

First name.

"Hey Janine, can you move your cart out of the way, thanks, gonna get by here and go get some ice cream sandwiches."

"Excuse me, Ravi, trying to get off the train, one moment, thanks."

"Oh hey, you're a Tanis too, just like me, neat!"

This will absolutely weird everyone out.

Lies per hour

Time left to live. There's plenty of useful things that tell you more about a person, but shinigami eyes would let you save lives and know it, even if no one else does

And if it turns out the number can't be changed through your actions, that would tell you a lot. If nothing else, you could say goodbye to loved ones and get incredibly rich by finding a CEO about to run out of time

Fucks left to give.

Basically, how many spoons someone has left, or how much bad and/or taxing stuff they're capable of bearing today.

This would serve two purposes. One. It'd allow me to communicate more carefully or gently with those who require it, two, it'd give me real time feedback on shit I might've doing that's causing a disproportionate amount of harm to someone else.

Ex: I can be in a wonderful mood and capable of taking all kinds of bad news, but asking me to go out of my way to do an act of service for someone else as a show of affection while I'm in the middle of some self-care after I've spent all day working in a service industry will tank my remaining fucks immediately. I'm absolutely certain that others around me have similar reactions to things that I do, and if I could see what they were, I could stop doing them inadvertently.

None. Someday, some company will build and sell a tool that actually does that, and it will be hella privacy invasive. Actually, it'll probably just be another invasive feature added to the Ray Ban perv glasses.

Human or Not Human

How likely they are to have sex with me this very second behind those bushes over there.

Good God I'm shallow sometimes...

Realtime running count of lies told

An icon to indicate if they washed their hands after the last time they used the bathroom.

Asshole ratio: 0 % = best person in the world.
100 % = worst person in the world.

Computed as an average of bad "actions" with respect to all actions.

Good and bad evaluated with respect to proven positive impact on people's lifes and the planet.

moralistic integrity in comparison to social norms.

it's basically a good vs evil bar.

A scale of 1-10 at how likely we could be friends.

Times they told the truth.

If it's objective truth, sweet! Motherload I can asking anyone the a question to the secrets of the universe and know whether they're wild guess was true!

If it's subjective truth, also useful, but you know just lies or ignorance detector

Number of cumulative years they would be imprisoned for, had they been caught and convicted of every single crime they ever committed.

I'm betting most adults are not at zero.

Healthbar.

"Hey, fuck you! I'm gonna kick your ass, man!"

"Mighty big talk for someone who only has 4hp."

Is "how much I would like them on a scale from 0 to 10 (with a resolution of like 0.01) if I got to know them at a deep level" allowed? Or is that cheating?

Number of days since they finished reading a book.

A boolean indicating if they want a conversation or not

I'm here to toot for the "lifetime farts" number

Some kind of "empathy score." Not sure what the formula would be, but it would reflect how readily they feel empathy for another person, and how many other people they can care about.

A narcissist would have a 0 -- they can only care about themself. Someone with very limited empathy would have a small number -- say, they can only care about their immediate family, and they need to really get to know someone before they care about that person. People who naturally care about others, even if they don't know the other person, would have high numbers.

This number would sometimes just flat out tell you that certain people should be avoided, or certain conversations are pointless with that person. Or if you do need to try to convince them of something, the number may show you how to frame the conversation. E.g., show how it's in their own interest if they have a low number.

Their name.

% of how genuine they are with me, easy to figure out who's worth the time and who isn't.

Could be a problem in a relationship tho. I take it back, just the cumulative numbers of fart in a lifetime.

all the others seem a lot more invasive, so I'll go with their pronouns/gender so I never have to ask and be awkward

The time and date of their death.

Number of times they've lied

You could cheese this by picking a statistic for something like "likelihood to agree if asked for a favor". I'm not going to stress over the wording on how to make it most useful, but something like that could be interesting.

Or something like "amount of undiagnosed cancers" if you want to save people.

I just want a music player indicator to see what they are listening to without have to listen to their music. What they listen to can be pretty telling.

Would be magic if I could press pause as well, for the people without headphones on the train.

Their net benefit (or harm) to humanity; measured in QALYs.

A generalization on the crimes score, but it also tells me who to befriend. I'm not a utilitarian, but it still seems like helpful data.

A percentage of how much our core values/morals/beliefs align, weighted by how important they are to us.

It would make it super easy to know upfront who I should include in my life and who I shouldnt.

How willing they are to talk to you right now. You can always pick the right person to talk to if you need to ask a question, give a friend the exact amount of space they need if they’re going thru something, and easily identify people that are interested in you (or not). Best of all, though, you can spot someone who’s a little too eager to talk and avoid a hostage-style conversation where they won’t let you leave politely

Limit underbreak brave quotient

Quality of Life impact: How much damage (or benefit) their actions (work, lifestyle, whatever) have done for the net quality of life across the globe. I figure anyone who drives to work is probably doing a little more harm than good, but perhaps they make up for it by being a good school teacher or something, whereas AI coders might make things worse ... but mostly I'd like to see if ANY world leaders score in the positive.