this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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[–] chunes@lemmy.world 144 points 6 days ago (10 children)

The last thing they said. I'll never have to say "What?" 4 times in a row again.

[–] lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 42 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You win. The amount of times I've wished the real world had subtitles...

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[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 14 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Time left to live. There's plenty of useful things that tell you more about a person, but shinigami eyes would let you save lives and know it, even if no one else does

And if it turns out the number can't be changed through your actions, that would tell you a lot. If nothing else, you could say goodbye to loved ones and get incredibly rich by finding a CEO about to run out of time

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[–] MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago (5 children)
[–] ladybugs@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (2 children)

None. Someday, some company will build and sell a tool that actually does that, and it will be hella privacy invasive. Actually, it'll probably just be another invasive feature added to the Ray Ban perv glasses.

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[–] anon_8675309@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

Lies per hour

[–] Kiernian@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Fucks left to give.

Basically, how many spoons someone has left, or how much bad and/or taxing stuff they're capable of bearing today.

This would serve two purposes. One. It'd allow me to communicate more carefully or gently with those who require it, two, it'd give me real time feedback on shit I might've doing that's causing a disproportionate amount of harm to someone else.

Ex: I can be in a wonderful mood and capable of taking all kinds of bad news, but asking me to go out of my way to do an act of service for someone else as a show of affection while I'm in the middle of some self-care after I've spent all day working in a service industry will tank my remaining fucks immediately. I'm absolutely certain that others around me have similar reactions to things that I do, and if I could see what they were, I could stop doing them inadvertently.

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[–] Doom@lemmy.world 31 points 6 days ago (2 children)

An icon to indicate if they washed their hands after the last time they used the bathroom.

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[–] BodePlotHole@lemmy.world 30 points 6 days ago (3 children)

A scale of 1-10 at how likely we could be friends.

[–] Scrollone@feddit.it 13 points 6 days ago

Put me in horny jail, but I think the world would be a better place if we could see a measure of how likely we could be mating partners.

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[–] pHr34kY@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago (10 children)

Number of cumulative years they would be imprisoned for, had they been caught and convicted of every single crime they ever committed.

I'm betting most adults are not at zero.

[–] axx@slrpnk.net 11 points 6 days ago

Crime is such a subjective, context and time dépendant metric that it makes no sense to use here.

Are you one of those people who thinks things being legal equates to things being moral?

[–] Doom@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

This wouldn't impart any useful information in a world where rapist pedophiles get time served and protesters get a life sentence for being adjacent to another crime handing out zines.

[–] Limonene@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago

Nobody's at zero. It's been said that the average American commits 3 felonies per day. The law is so long that you couldn't read it in a lifetime. There are more criminalized actions than you can imagine.

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I feel like this would be a misleading measure. My dad has been self medicating anxiety, adhd, trauma, and potentially autism with pot for about 40 years, in our state an oz is 6 months on first offence. If we only count that on his usual consumption rate, baring any time he's got extra, tried other things, or the myriad of other dubious things he's gotten into, he's lookimg at 1,440 years in jail. If you add anything about quality, growing, having large amounts, that's going to skyrocket. In comparison, a double homicide nets you 100 points in this hypothetical.

Put my stoner dad next to a serial pedophile with 10 victims below the age of 12 and my dad looks like a fucking monster.

[–] pHr34kY@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Oh, I'm probably up to 1000 years just for listening to music from the internet.

Maybe the number should exclude victimless crimes.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 28 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Healthbar.

"Hey, fuck you! I'm gonna kick your ass, man!"

"Mighty big talk for someone who only has 4hp."

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[–] Zacryon@feddit.org 12 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Asshole ratio: 0 % = best person in the world.
100 % = worst person in the world.

Computed as an average of bad "actions" with respect to all actions.

Good and bad evaluated with respect to proven positive impact on people's lifes and the planet.

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[–] fruitycoder@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Times they told the truth.

If it's objective truth, sweet! Motherload I can asking anyone the a question to the secrets of the universe and know whether they're wild guess was true!

If it's subjective truth, also useful, but you know just lies or ignorance detector

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[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I'm here to toot for the "lifetime farts" number

[–] fork@feddit.online 23 points 6 days ago (4 children)

I was gonna say a percentage of how close they are to their next fart, lol.

[–] veniasilente@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 6 days ago (2 children)

«WARNING: FART INCOMING»

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (4 children)

moralistic integrity in comparison to social norms.

it's basically a good vs evil bar.

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[–] redwattlebird@thelemmy.club 22 points 6 days ago (2 children)

A boolean indicating if they want a conversation or not

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[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

Number of days since they finished reading a book.

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[–] tuckerm@feddit.online 24 points 6 days ago (11 children)

Some kind of "empathy score." Not sure what the formula would be, but it would reflect how readily they feel empathy for another person, and how many other people they can care about.

A narcissist would have a 0 -- they can only care about themself. Someone with very limited empathy would have a small number -- say, they can only care about their immediate family, and they need to really get to know someone before they care about that person. People who naturally care about others, even if they don't know the other person, would have high numbers.

This number would sometimes just flat out tell you that certain people should be avoided, or certain conversations are pointless with that person. Or if you do need to try to convince them of something, the number may show you how to frame the conversation. E.g., show how it's in their own interest if they have a low number.

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[–] tigermountain@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago (6 children)
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[–] thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Number of times they've lied

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[–] petrichornetrainfall@piefed.social 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

A percentage of how much our core values/morals/beliefs align, weighted by how important they are to us.

It would make it super easy to know upfront who I should include in my life and who I shouldnt.

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 11 points 6 days ago

You could cheese this by picking a statistic for something like "likelihood to agree if asked for a favor". I'm not going to stress over the wording on how to make it most useful, but something like that could be interesting.

Or something like "amount of undiagnosed cancers" if you want to save people.

[–] felsiq@piefed.zip 21 points 6 days ago (2 children)

How willing they are to talk to you right now. You can always pick the right person to talk to if you need to ask a question, give a friend the exact amount of space they need if they’re going thru something, and easily identify people that are interested in you (or not). Best of all, though, you can spot someone who’s a little too eager to talk and avoid a hostage-style conversation where they won’t let you leave politely

[–] mrcleanup@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Your eyes scan the room, skimming the numbers. Everyone is in their own conversation, 20, 35, 15, nothing promising until you spot an 85. Their back is turned but you make your way through the crowd to their side of the room. You say "Hey", and they turn, and as soon at they see you their number starts to drop. 75, 60 45, 10. Ouch, sometimes you wonder why you even try.

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[–] Artisian@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Their net benefit (or harm) to humanity; measured in QALYs.

A generalization on the crimes score, but it also tells me who to befriend. I'm not a utilitarian, but it still seems like helpful data.

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[–] raspirate@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Total net worth. No hidden assets or secret bank accounts. Every last cent that a person is worth. Also, it gets brighter/more noticeable whenever you're advocating for something that increases your net worth.

I feel like this would be the only way to get a lot of people to connect the dots.

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[–] memfree@piefed.social 11 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Quality of Life impact: How much damage (or benefit) their actions (work, lifestyle, whatever) have done for the net quality of life across the globe. I figure anyone who drives to work is probably doing a little more harm than good, but perhaps they make up for it by being a good school teacher or something, whereas AI coders might make things worse ... but mostly I'd like to see if ANY world leaders score in the positive.

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[–] nullify3112@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

I just want a music player indicator to see what they are listening to without have to listen to their music. What they listen to can be pretty telling.

Would be magic if I could press pause as well, for the people without headphones on the train.

[–] vantablack@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 6 days ago (2 children)

lifetime number of orgasms

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 9 points 6 days ago

"Wait, wasn't your number just 753,494? Why is it a 5 now? You've been sitting right here the whole... Oh no. Now it's a 6? Why"

"Say 'whole' again..."

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[–] BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Number of farts in their lives.

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[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 5 points 5 days ago

Limit underbreak brave quotient

[–] LemmyPlaceDN@europe.pub 13 points 6 days ago (8 children)
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[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 9 points 6 days ago (4 children)
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