How irresponsible, having a baby when you can’t provide for it and don’t have stable housing. How dare you?
How irresponsible, trying to improve your income and achieve stable housing instead of having a baby. How dare you?
this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2026
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Women are criticized no matter what decisions they make. This is a way that patriarchy reinforces itself.
Edit: relevant essay: https://www.sevanoland.com/uploads/1/1/8/0/118081022/there_is_no_unmarked_woman.pdf
It’s exhausting.
Yup. This is why I can’t tell if I’m trans or if I just want to be unmarked.
This really hits.
Like, ok, my OS didn't ship with gender.exe, that's an aftermarket DLC consisting of 95% cosmetic skins, and I'm busy trying to roll out kernel patches. Sorry about that! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I only run it to avoid social issues and/or because it's the path of least resistance. And even then... I've only ever thought "I am doing A, B, & C, and avoiding X, Y & Z because they expect me to and it's just easier".
I know I don't want to change my gender -- there's not much there to speak of in the first place. I simply want to do what I like. On the other hand, I know that this is "not normal" because most other guys seem way more attached to their gender, like it's an existential threat to them if I cross an imaginary line while existing next to them. And they act compelled to know "what" other people are, as if they'll implode because they won't know how to be around them!
So the best thing for me to do is to get around people who care about other people LARPing at gender just as much as I do.
(To be clear, I have absolutely no problems with anyone else wearing the gender layers of their choice, and wearing them proudly. As long as they're not an asshole. I actually kinda envy this, because for me it's like wearing a parka in a hot car. Changing its color won't do anything, I actually just don't even want it, I want to live my life without carrying around these heavy rulesets for what color my shoes need to be. LMAO, hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
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I suspect there's pressure from peer women too. Are there any non-partriarchal societies to check for it?
I don't know of nonpatriarchal societies, but there have always been women who enforce patriarchy. Consider, for example, "tradwife" influencers. Or look at the moms who let their sons get away with murder with a "boys will be boys" while reprimanding their daughters for not being responsible.
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18-20 is the typical age for the most healthy children, and lowest maternal problems. At the same time, economic health doesn't peak until well into the 40s.
It makes for a social tug of war thats never easy to handle.
This was reported as misinformation, so I'm going to take this opportunity to set it straight:
Your peak reproductive years tend to fall between your late teens and your late 20s
When society and biology don't align, we get a birthrate crisis.
Who could've ever predicted making it very hard financially to be young person and making it practically impossible to buy a house and start a family would mean people stop having families /s
My parents had children they couldn't actually afford, so they spent most of their time at work instead of raising us. Somehow, they expect me to be grateful to them for not being there and for bringing me into slave world.
I wish I hadn't been born.
Same, but I went another way with it. I decided to have kids and be a better parent than them. Since my brother didn't have kids I was able to break the cycle and put better people into the world than my parents did.
If we don't try to put better and smart people out there then we are destined to fulfill Mike Judges prophecy.
I love kids, being a parent was the only "dream" I was really sure of when I was younger. But I can barely afford to support myself, and as a woman in my upper-30s I can see the door of opportunity closing rapidly.
Thankfully, not all is lost. Working in education means I get to do my part to "put better and smart people out there" without having my own kids. It still hurts that I can't have the life I wanted, but at least I can still positively influence future generations.
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My parents had children they couldn’t actually afford, so they spent most of their time at work instead of raising us.
This is the reality for most people. I'm sorry they couldn't spend more time with you.
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When society and biology don’t align, we get a birthrate crisis.
The birthrate "crisis" is also in large part due women's access to contraception and control over when they have children and how many.
Even in Nordic gay space communist countries where all the needs of mothers are provided by the state, there is a birth rate crisis (met with immigration).
I think many of us uncomfortable with the dawning reality that achieving the replacement rate of humanity requires oppression of women. Bearing children is an enormous pain in the ass and without pressuring and grooming women into it, we don't get to the maintenance target of 2.1 babies per woman.
There are probably ways societies could THEORETICALLY adjust to make child-bearing more emotionally attractive without social coercion, but, fuck, man, society can't even maintain platonic friendships these days, how are we going to figure out how to have every woman average 2.1 babies?
People need to give up on the idea that the replacement rate needs to be met all the time, everywhere.
It is ok, and natural for populations to decrease intermittently.
We have too many people. We can’t find affordable homes for the people we do have. We can’t meet the energy demands of the people today, without borrowing from the well-being of our planet’s future.
People are correctly looking around at the world and deciding they don’t need to be bringing more people into this world as it currently stands.
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Pregnancies in teenagers carry additional risk. The healthiest age range for women to be birthing babies is a little higher than 18-20. More like 20-30.
Yeah, I’m not sure why this person has so many upvotes while being so easily demonstrably wrong.
My understanding was that the best time for women to have children was between 20-30 years old, not 18-20.
From what I've read, 20-30 is when women have most of their eggs at the best quality, and have the lowest health risk in pregnancy.
Where does the 18-20 come from? Like I guess you're most fertile at 20 but that's the only metric I can see thats best at 20. Hell, a lot of sources even say you have the best chance of natural conception in your late 20s.
It comes from men being attracted to teenagers and wanting to justify the attraction.
Ugh that's so fucking gross and literally not factual.
Any man interested in teens is 100% predatory and no amount of pseudoscience is gonna make up for the fact that
A) teens' bodies are not equipped to carry a baby without complications
B) teens are not mentally equipped to be parents
C) they only like teens because they're predators and teens are the only ones naive enough to fall for their shitty manipulation tactics.
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It would be cool if we changed society just a little to help with this.
Not so much that it affects the rich though. That would be asking too much.
I mean, sure, we could make the world a better place, but like six very rich guys would be sad so we can't.
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18-20 is not the "typical age for healthy children", it's in the oldest part of not being that and very youngest part of it. No one that young should have children anyway. Your, objectively wrong, view of this borders on very creepy.
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I got a hysterectomy last summer and now people don't ask me about kids much anymore. People who don't know me well think that I am upset over losing my ability to reproduce. The people I know well know that I had a small party after I got rid of my reproductive organs. I had a custom cake made and everything.
10/10 best medical decisions I've ever made for myself
My wife had a hysterectomy due to extreme endometriosis a few years ago. We had a Yeeterus party. Our friend made a uterus shaped piñata to bash.
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Someone asked us if we're planning kids at some party recently and some other friend quickly said "you shouldn't ask questions like that, it's rude. you don't know what people could be going through". The other person simply said "you're right" and moved on.
People are slowly learning.
Asking people if they're planning to have kids is like asking an unemployed person if they've found a job yet.
I'm sure it must be great not having to deal with your body beating itself up for not getting pregnant that month. It might be invasive and feel free not to answer but im curious, have you noticed any other improvements or issues since then?
Being a man is like:
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
QUICK GET HER PREGNANT!
GET HER PREGNANT NOOOOOW!
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Don't get her pregnant
Dude sweet shes not pregnant
Dude sweet shes not pregnant
Dude sweet shes not pregnant
Lets try for a baby fuck my balls dont work
Lets try for a baby fuck my balls dont work
Lets try for a baby fuck my balls dont work
Oh sweet my balls work!
Dude sweet shes not pregnant
Dude sweet shes not pregnant
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Unasked for opinions from everywhere when you have the ability to grow and birth babies.
Yup! My ex had this happen to her all the time especially from a church community we were part of. She would always say her doctor advised her not to have kids and if that didn’t work she’d go into detail about her body and why the doctor said she’d have problems carrying a child. Most would stop there but there were still some that would give her the “don’t you believe in miracles if you have faith?” type responses. We left the church after it kept happening.
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This is missing a few regular Get pregnants before the end one.
Being a woman is like - stop trying to tell me what to do. Keep your opinion to yourself. No one asked you.
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