this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 25 comments
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[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Oh look. A Free Will church literally telling you what to do.

[–] notabot@piefed.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

To be fair, they're not actually telling you what to do, just telling you what they think the consequence of a certain action will be.

[–] Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

That's the fun part about language, it doesn't have to be logical in the slightest. I can say red is blue all day every day without issue beyond that it's logically inconsistent.

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

I wonder if it's near the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

This is what happens when you give the Baptist free will.

[–] rainwall@piefed.social 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Ive seen people eat corn by rotating it and bitting kernels off the side, I've seen people stand corn up on a plate and cut kernels off with a knife. I've never seen anyone deep throat a corn cob while trying to literally suck the kernels off, which seems like the only possible way to "choke on the cob."

These church people just seem deeply confused about how corn works.

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

These church people just seem deeply confused about how corn works.

Look, confused or not, they're defo more fun at parties than we are, that's for sure

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Action: Eat the devil's cob Positive: You will choke on his corn Negative: The church will slut shame you for it

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The cob contains potassium benzoate.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Don't threaten me with a good time.

Sounds cornographic.

[–] SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If marijuana is the devil's lettuce, what is the devil's corn?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Still Marijuana. It's potcorn

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago
[–] wizblizz@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Slob that cob knob

[–] Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 weeks ago

So why would the Baptist's corn behave different?

/forward => comparisons-that-make-no-sense-at-all

[–] MrSelfDestruct@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

At first I thought the shadow was Trump.

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

DID SOMEBODY MENTION HOGS!? AROOOOOOO!!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

CRANK THEM COBS BROTHER

[–] Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The title and the post together make it sound like you're saying your neighbor is the devil.

[–] Zomg@piefed.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Not with a cob like his

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds like a kink

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago