this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2026
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[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

Make every one of them state on camera the time and date of the next one to die.

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

what are the rules?

musk should die in a tesla fire caused by a space x failure. bezos should crash his rocket in the amazon. bill gates should have a window fall on him and then die of a vaccine preventable infection.

[–] Kefla@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

bezos should crash his rocket in the amazon

Idk how convoluted it can get but I wanna see bezos crash in the Amazon only to miraculously survive but subsequently die a slow painful death to infection, disease, or some exotic animal's venom

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago

oooh, of something that his actions caused the extinction of what would have cured him.

[–] Poophammer@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"Died trying to suck own penis in public" would be hilarious probably the first 1000 times

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

i thought you couldn't do repeats?

[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don't think that's a rule? I mean, heart attack is the default.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago

i must have seen some spoof of it that added the rule.

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago

Names of all corporate executives.

Cause of death: luigi-dance

[–] vanDerVaartBlackenedRanch@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago

Davos kuru outbreak.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you got access to tax information, you could make every billionaire shit themselves to death

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You xould write that they accidentally stabbed themselves to death while signing their fortune over to the Cuban Communist Party.

[–] oliveoil@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Part of the rules is that it has to be plausibly something they would do.

[–] KobaCumTribute@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don't think that was a rule. You couldn't puppet someone whose name and face you knew into killing someone else or make them cause an accident with additional casualties, and you couldn't make them do something they didn't have the knowledge to do (with some caveats: they couldn't be made to reveal information they didn't have, but they could be made to say or write specific phrases that were part of the instructions), but I don't remember an individual plausibility restriction.

[–] oliveoil@hexbear.net 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Light also tried to make a prisoner teleport to France before dying.

[–] KobaCumTribute@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Right, physical possibility is one of them, but not like character motivation plausibility. Someone can be made to do something out of character, but not begin flying or walking through walls or the like.

[–] oliveoil@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

Light makes the bus hijacker pick up the piece of the death note so he could plausibly see Ryuk and scream about a demon and unload his gun.

[–] into_highest_invite@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

they get shot with a gun by a white man in the middle of trying to blame gun violence on minorities. their spouse doesn't even try to hide the fact that they are using the death for personal gain. also gets uncomfortably close to a guy who fucks couches. despite the best efforts of the worst people to make them a martyr, their only lasting impact on the world is ai-generated faceswap shitposts and their name becomes a brainrot term for children who will never know who they were. i don't think it's possible to come up with a funnier death than that.

[–] DelgadoSlims@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Give a bunch of world leaders auto erotic asphyxiation and see how the various news report it

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

Yeah, like, it would be so fucking funny if all of a sudden every billionaire went the way of David Carradine in the local super 8 motel. Let Q Anon sort THAT out.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago

All tech CEO'S keep going about their day as normal with the one exception that they're shitting their pants the whole time, until they all die of dehydration

[–] KobaCumTribute@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Imagine every reactionary official going outside at noon and staring directly into the sun until they drown in their own spit, in a wave sweeping across the globe over the course of a day.

Alternately, exsanguination through pissing so hard and so long that all their blood comes out after they run out of piss. While onstage at a press conference confessing to every crime they ever committed.

[–] core@leminal.space 2 points 2 days ago

I like the cut of your jib.

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago

Bill Clinton; confesses all his crimes live on tv then drinks hemlock out of his saxophone

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Write someone's name, 99 years and "From old age".

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago

You mean how they did with Kissinger?

[–] ttayh@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Then they die in 40s from a heart attack. Gotta know the rules

Edit:

How to Use It: XXVII

If you write, "die of disease" for the cause of death, but only write a specific time of death without the actual name of disease, the human will die from an adequate disease. But the Death Note can only operate within ,23 days* (in the human calendar). This is called the 23-day rule.

Also LVII

In the Death Note, you cannot set the death date longer than the victim's original life span. Even if the victim's death is set in the Death Note beyond his/her original life span, the victim will die before the set time.

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago

Okay well then write 23 days of old age exclusively about young people.

[–] Meh@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

L will never catch me now

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I use the note to make you and me kiss and live a long and happy life doggirl-kiss catgirl-heart

[–] Kefla@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Surely that would be the Life Note

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

So the death note cannot be used to extend an individual's life span beyond what is fated for them, but if you had shinigami eyes or another way of knowing that date, you could still use the note to influence others without effectively shortening their lifespan (e.g. shortening it by one second and then guaranteeing a peaceful, rather than painful, death) and potentially locking in those conditions against manipulation from other death notes

[–] hexaglycogen@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There's a maximum time that a death note can kill someone from when the command is drawn in.

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

Oooh hmmm. Okay. Scratch my idea then

they made an anime of it, it's called Love Tyrant. It's a bit creepy but not as creepy as it could be, which I guess is exceeding the bar for anime

[–] Jackilope@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

Best answer in the thread

[–] dragongloss@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago
[–] Spike@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Neil Breen Fateful Findings ending word for word, scene for scene for Zuckerberg, Musk, Gates etc

Everyone else just pisses and shits themselves til they die

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

Recreating some slop detective writing, csi or whatever

[–] TheBroodian@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

All billionaires names, Death by submarine implosion, but each one in their own separate private submersible.

[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 1 points 1 day ago

skeleton-guns-akimbo I'M FREE NOW