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But what if he really did teleport?
I know Occam's Razor and all, but imagine an an interdimensional entity just messing with random people, teleporting them around.
No reports come out of it because everyone's too scared to be made fun of or institutionalized. 🤔
You could go around doing crazy things with impunity using a portal gun
They interviewed the Waffle House waitress who didn't see him arrive that way. I can promise you, nobody is going to institutionalize a Waffle House Waitress because they saw come crazy shit
Ah. Well, that completely blows my hypothesis out of the water. If the waitress says he shambled in drunk, then we're back to the boring and most likely case.
Waitress didn't remember him at all. Which would be normal if somebody shambled in drunk
How? On foot? Or... you know, the other way he does it?
He claims he was driving around late at night with his kids, then suddenly was at a Waffle House 50 miles away in the parking lot. It's a very typical "hi I'm an alcoholic" AA-style story, and I've heard it tons from various people in my life as "this is when I knew I had a drinking problem".
You're giving this way more thought than he did
He teleported to a waffle house? Pfttt. I went to college in the south. That's just called a friday night.
FEMA should offer this man a raise and try to keep him. Teleportation could be a valuable tool in an emergency!
Leaving for a "holiday" in an institution with padded rooms?
Another of the greatest hits is "walking the Appalachian Trail."