this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 129 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago
[–] BoosBeau@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

god damnit, i'm mad i laughed so hard

[–] TerdFerguson@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago
[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 69 points 2 months ago (7 children)

I'd like to see a surgeon attempt any kind of surgery on Wolverine. As soon as he is cut he immediately starts healing.

Wolverine's healing factor only takes a few minutes to go from bare bones to nerves, blood vessels, muscles and skin.

[–] Lojcs@piefed.social 45 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Damn, when does it get so buffed? Reading 80s comics and his healing factor is "can sleep off a knife wound in a couple days" strong, not "regrows muscle in the middle of a fight"

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think you're misremembering. In 1978 the X-Men went to the Savage Land and a dinosaur seriously chomped his arm. He basically shrugged it off saying he "heals real fast"

Wolverine's Healing in 1978

His healing has been dialed up and down over the decades, but unless it's disabled (and he starts getting heavy metal poisoning), he heals from serious cuts in minutes at the most.

[–] Lojcs@piefed.social 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I think the gloves must've helped with the dino chomp, as well as his general macho attitude

I'm at around 1990 nowadays and although he says he is fine, other characters (who well know his powers) keep commenting on how rough a shape he is in and how he seems to be dying from the injuries he takes from nonstop adventuring

To me it seems like his healing factor can do a sprint to close a wound so he can finish a fight, but it can't do the marathon of keeping him alive from constant injuries, unless given time to regenerate itself. And the regrowing flesh thing to me looks like the effort of running a marathon in the span of a sprint

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean, he famously had one pretty big surgery

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sure, but they constantly reference how difficult that was, how his healing factor was the only thing that let him survive it, but how it also required all kinds of machines and doohickeys to somehow introduce the adamantium into his skeleton so that it wouldn't be rejected.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago

What if they make the dick heal around an adamantium vagina mold

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Not to sound like a chud but he's biologically male. His Y chromosomes aren't just gonna disappear, he's gonna grow his dick back.

And it'd happen before the surgery was even over

[–] Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 46 points 2 months ago (10 children)

Y doesn't contain "dick information" it contains "dick infrastructure schedule information". The infrastructure builds and maintains dickindustry.

The only thing that makes a dick and balls is a hormone signal at a specific stage in a fetus' life. Wether or not a fetus gets that signal dickindustry or pussyindustry will continue as the existing structures dictate. There are plenty of XY pussy-ovary births and XX dick-testes births due to this fact. The people usually never find out, as they lead normal lives.

Though I agree with you that her dick would show back up, that's because her regeneration is magic, not science, and the comic gods said she had a dick and that's that. It would take a big arc for her to get a pussy, old gods or time travel or dimension hopping or something.

Maybe a deal with Loki that gave wolverine a snarky, chaotic neutral pussy with its own agenda? Also, stop misgendering our beautiful wolverine!

[–] grandma@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)

So you're saying we need to dismantle the Penile Industrial Complex?

[–] Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Big Penis cannot remain in the hands of the few! The thrust of history must bring the boons of big Penis to the masses!

[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 6 points 2 months ago
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[–] AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago

Vulverina from the multiverse.

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[–] bss03@infosec.pub 11 points 2 months ago

Yeah, I think trans Wolverine would be even more trapped by biology than other trans persons. She would need some cutting-edge gene-editing treatment to remove/replace the Y across much of the body. As a native CA person, I believe she'll have quite the wait to get that treatment, and I don't think there's a DIY option that could work for her.

[–] Quexotic@infosec.pub 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

He was blown it a bunch of tiny little bots once and restored to his prior shape. He's trapped in that body.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe it depends on their hormone levels πŸ€”

Right amount of HRT: Vagina. No HRT: Penis.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The healing factor would attack the foreign hormones. Wolverine can't get drunk either because his body heals too quickly.

[–] GreenShimada@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Those are different things, though. Hormones would be closer to vitamins, the body uses them if they're present without necessarily causing harm to the body. The body produced hormones, but, chemically, if the hormones are made or introduced, chemically, they're the same. Ethanol is a poison that works by affecting the brain by attaching to GABA receptors, so it is a threat to the body.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

That's all science though. Wolverine's healing ability is basically magic. I mean, it regrows his hair to a certain length in a certain style too.

The backstory for his character is that his healing factor not only "heals" him, but basically restores him to the way he previously was whenever there's a change to his body.

[–] GreenShimada@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean, yeah, that's magic I guess. So if Wolverine got Scarlet Witch to give him HRT, he'd have titties in a jiffy.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

She can alter reality, so she could just skip the HRT and re-imagine him as a woman, or an elephant, or a cloud of sentient dust.

[–] Flagstaff@programming.dev 8 points 2 months ago

it regrows his hair to a certain length in a certain style too.

lol I totally didn't think about that, hmm...

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[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

All people contain both estrogen and testosterone. They just have them in different quantities. How would his body know that they're not natural?

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[–] obvs@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

I'm not even trans, but this question is fascinating.

[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 20 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Referring to Iron Man: Extremis #3 it's safe to assume that without hijacking said repair center Wolverine would regrow a penis almost instantly

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So in theory you could somehow edit the repair center to grow a vagina instead, then the dick would fall right off

[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Matter-of-factly, Ultron hacks into Extremis in a later run and turns Tony Stark into a Janet Van Dyne lookalike.

At the end of the ordeal Tony Stark checks to see if he still has a penis.

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[–] Stern@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wolverine has lost a hand before in Age of Apocalypse and it did not grow back. However he has regrown eyes before along with regenerating after firebombing charred him to a cinder so we can likely assume his cock and balls would also grow back.

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Additional discussion question: It can be inferred that Wolverine regenerates blood, and it is known that beer has minimal effect on him due to his enhaced bodily functions related to his regeneration. With this in mind, does Wolverine have a refractory period or can he fuck all night?

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[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 14 points 2 months ago

That's a shower thought if I've ever seen one

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 14 points 2 months ago

Would be easier to answer if his regenerative powers were consistent

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

She'll grow whatever her little wolverine heart desires!

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 12 points 2 months ago (4 children)

At first I thought dick, but then again their bones regenerate as adamantium so maybe regeneration does preserve surgical modifications.

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Wolverine's bones would like to regenerate, but the adamantium is in the way. This prevents regeneration. The implications of this should be obvious. Wolverine's gonna need an adamantium dilator.

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I don't think the bones usually regenerate

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think they do when they are bones. The adamantium doesn't break, so it don't need to regenerate.

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What happens if you cut wolverines arm off then? Does he need to get the bones back and hold them in place before it heals?

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)

The more you ask questions the more the unreality of the situation shows, so I guess it would depend on the writer.

You couldn't normally cleave or smash an adamantium bone, so it would much harder to dismember Wolverine. You'd have to cut ligaments and tendons carefully to avoid the bones, while fighting the regeneration at the same time. But, I think if you figured out some way to separate part of the adamantium skeleton from Wolverine, when the a new part grew to replace the removed part, the new part would contain "normal" bones.

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[–] gnufuu@infosec.pub 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wolverine does sound quite feminine. Should have called them Vulver

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[–] baines@piefed.social 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

in comic universe, wolverine’s power works off of some metaphysical idea of what his existing body should be and so the dick would grow back

now if someone wanted to argue there was a mental component that'd be fun but i don't think we’ve had any story evidence to that affect

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[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

We just don't have to share all of our thoughts.

Sometimes our brain just gives us something to play with for a moment, it's not really for others.

Just a little treat for us to keep to ourselves.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The dick thing (there's a reason "he" is angry), also lots of super heros are thwarted trans people. It's why they're always meeting their "girl" versions, life is trying to tell them something.

"This bright lycra outfit makes me feel like I'm flying! But I also have rage issues."

"Oh wow, a girl version of me, I'll have to try extra hard not to have any realizations about who I am".

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