this post was submitted on 28 May 2026
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fuck I'm not in the right headspace when I'm asking this, unresolved trauma. Now I'm repeating in my head "love them more than my mental illnesses".

I wanted to warn an organization i cared about my past and that manipulation comes naturally to me to the point where I don't notice after the fact. I legit want see them succeeded and stand in blind solidarity.

I have reached out someone in the organization about my issues. I'm hoping they respond.

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[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 days ago

Being aware of your unwanted behaviour is the first step towards modifying it. Good luck!

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I just want to say that this level of self reflection is admirable given your challenges. Tell people you trust or people that need to know only. As far as stigma goes, nobody has it worse.

[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago

until you realize trump is president, but the behavior is permissible just not labeling yourself as a narcissist. society does have rules that only exist to isolate us and hostility towards those that are mentally ill is one of them

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Probably a question that should be discussed with a therapist. I dont think people here can give a good answer as we lack to much context.

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

yes, but this is also a straight up troll.

legit narcissists don't think they are manipulating people, or being narcissists. they see their behavior as 'natural'. they also don't talk about their trauma.

[–] BooBees@fedinsfw.app 8 points 1 week ago

There’s plenty of narcissists that know they’re narcissists, and there’s therapy tools to help them participate in the world in a more healthy manner, but as you sorta indicated, it’s very rare any want to, and even more rare than any actively go down that path, so seeing someone speaking as if they’re struggling with it internally without seeing any sign of having already developed those tools makes it highly unlikely they’re legit. Probably just regular old mental illness of some sort, maybe attention seeking coupled with drug use and emotional instability. Wonder if they’re single, that’s right up my alley.

[–] rhombus@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Weird how often I see this take. Narcissism is really Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and it is possible for someone with NPD to recognize they have it and want to change. Not super common, but it is possible.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 0 points 3 days ago

"weird how often I see people assuming people with NPD are going to continue to exhibit traits of NPD"

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yep, although it'd be pretty surprising if it went like this. OP is straight up worried they're being bad to others, and willing to invite embarrassment by announcing it. (Unless they never really meant it)

Like, amateur over-the-internet diagnosis is worthless, but BPD would fit the almost no information we have better.

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

is possible for someone with NPD to recognize they have it and want to change.

at this point they are ceased being a narcissist.

[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

Yeah your sentence has two verbs in the same sentence. You should say "they are being" or "they ceased being".

Buuuuut I don't use basic communication errors to find mentally ill people

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[–] Rhoeri@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (6 children)
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[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 11 points 1 week ago

If you wish to address these behaviors you need to speak with a therapist. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's like a workout for your brain. We really can't help you. I wish you well. It's possible to change and better yourself, but only if you truly wish to.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

You might have mental health issues, but I kind of doubt you have those ones just from the basic context.

[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

I got a keep it simple and do the right thing mindset.

[–] jenesaisquoi@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago

I assume you're asking this because you'd like to reduce the impact of that kind of behaviour.

If that is your goal, then it would be best attained by going to psychotherapy. NCD/ASPD cannot be healed, but it can be treated and its effects greatly reduced, assuming you're willing to put in the work.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 7 points 1 week ago (13 children)

Have you been diagnosed as such by a psychiatrist?

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Yeah, something else seems to be going on. A narcissist doesn't consider warning people about themselves.

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[–] venusaur@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Are you manipulating us right now in order to get some answer you want?

As people said, talk to a therapist. Is this normal behavior or thought patterns? Maybe you’re going through some sort of crisis or psychosis.

Reach out to a professional for help. Good luck!

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That seems kind of antisocial and would get a lot of attention, so yeah, win-win!

[–] Strider@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Are you really narcissistic or did someone just say you are (rhetorical question for yourself, not the internet)?

If you really are, congratulations, knowing and admitting is a huge thing!

Listen to the other advice, ask a professional.

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[–] disregardable@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No one is perfect. You are not alone or uniquely problematic in struggling with certain behaviors you don't like about yourself. We don't generally need to publicize our flaws up front. Rather than just telling them you are X negative trait, I think asking for specific safeguards that can help would be appropriate. Like, let's say you often lie to get out of aspects of work you don't like- be upfront with your limits on what you are able to tolerate and where you may not be able to.

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[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There is no point in telling them. They either already know or will find out once they meet you.

[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

Yeah that's been my MO. It's actually worked well.

[–] Meat_Of_Nan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's really a question you need to answer for yourself but everyone has issues. The fact that you are self aware of them means you know when they happen and can do things to control it better.

I don't think you need to introduce yourself with a warning, you deserve to have privacy and boundaries while you deal with your issues and heal, but if you feel safe enough with someone to open up to them, you can explain what you're struggling with, and in normal casual relationships, you can use that self awareness to control your issues.

Nobody's perfect, everyone has flaws, you're clearly not a malicious person if you're here asking this, you're someone who is struggling with some issues. But you recognize those issues and want to deal with them, that's a huge step a lot of people don't even get to.

[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

im malicious to people i think deserve it. I dont have to pegged as a gennerally malitious (was gonna say narcissist, but your no where close to that), id say you're a generally mentally healthy person, few flaws I can tug at (it would be petty to tug at them). I tell IDF solider that I hate them that they're awful human beings and i hope that i hurt them emotionally, i love making people that advocate war crimes realize theyre the villian and crash out, and i openly told my maga neighbor that zohran mamdani is doing a good job to mess with him an hour ago.

the issue is I'm basically predatory against societies worst.

[–] DankDingleberry@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (8 children)

if you truly are a narcissist, they will know after 2-3 talks with you. no worries.

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