Hi, I am so sorry for what happened. I believe you and the other people with stories of abuse in these communities. Nobody should face unwanted sexual contact. I hope you have local support.
Could you tell us how closely the online communities you have met relate to pre-existing communities for kink, non-monogamy, and responsible substance use? Because I never met them in person I don't have a good feeling for the differences between LessWrong, EA, TPOT, Vibecamp, and Hereticon, but the Bay Area Rationalists don't seem like people who have a float at Folsom or sign their whole house up for a bondage workshop with people who have rigged for kink.com. It sounds more like a rationalist will sometimes ask a friend who is a kinkster or experienced substance user but not a rationalist for advice.
Is there anything you would like us to change about how we talk about all this?