I love how OP restricted themselves to only respond in the mentioned phrases and how some have quite the reaction. Got me rolling.
this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Relax, it's not that deep
Ok buddy
So be a cunt to someone for no reason pisses them off?
I mean, that is the definition of ragebaiting
I think rage baiting requires some degree of deniability and subterfuge. The "[normal question] if you were athletic?" is a good example. The ones that are just "Shut up short man" are too crass
crass, but also transparently so, which is why they are less effective as ragebait
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That's such a short guy thing to say
I'm so glad I'm not short. Short guys just get shit on so much. Been at parties where someone just out of nowhere says "You'd be hot if you wasn't short". Like imagine that for anything else "you'd be hot if you wasn't black". "You'd be hot if you wasn't in a wheelchair" just getting shit on for genetics.
Same girls also cry murder if somebody says something about a fat girl, which is in their control.
Uh-oh! Is that gendered double-standarts? Nah, must have been the wind.
Own yourself, short king, and people will be drawn to you like magic. It’s not confidence, it’s loving and accepting yourself. That’s all.
Anyone so shallow that they would judge you by your height is someone you don’t want be involved with. As soon as you get to know someone, their appearance ceases to matter and all that is left is the human being underneath. Consider those situations bullets dodged.
As a short dude myself I wish this were true. I’m confident and have accepted my fate. Yet even when I thought we were grooving and clearly compatible I’d still get hit with “sorry you’re not tall enough,” even when she was like 5’0. I don’t know how the hell I got lucky to get my wife, but she’s clearly the exception not the norm.
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Yeah, my idea of being a 'man' includes the part where you wingman for your shorter buddies.
(in the context of 'everyone is single and out to mingle')
Some chick (or dude, or w/e if your bro is amenable) comes on to you at a bar?
Chat them up a bit, introduce them to your unironically very cool and awesome shorter friend, tell them a story about the one time bro made you look like an idiot, then metaphorically hand the mic over to him, etc.
Call it anti-chad type bro behvaior, I dunno.
Like, to me, thats what 'Bros before Hoes' means.
It means you don't personally scour the field yourself, there has to be some sense of equity.
Don't make the problem worse, instead, try to be part of the solution.
This has got to be a weird american thing i s2g i have never ever in my damned near 50 years heard that shit.
'Things you should say if you want everyone to know you're rage-baiting shit disturber'.
The number of responses in this thread that sound emotional is making me feel big and strong
Ok?
Why though? Isn't there enough misery and shittiness in the world as is? Why stoke the hostility?
For fun?
You wouldn't get it.
Return_of_chippy in this thread:
Okay buddy
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED IF I CALLED WOMEN FAT
Huh
You wouldn't get it
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"How to have a bad personality and gain toxic friends, a guide for neglected children"
I'm actually a little surprised at the reactions in this thread. When I read this, I was thinking of my husband and friends I could casually drop these lines on, and it's something we'd all laugh about. I guess I just wasn't thinking of someone using any of these lines sincerely or maliciously, and idk I didnt get the vibe that OP is just a straight cunt that hates men. But I could be totally wrong.
At any rate, somewhere in the thread below, u/wonderingwanderer created an alternate woman ragebait list, and that shit was hilarious as well. My personal favorite was "Act your weight".
I don't know chippy, but I don't get that vibe either. I can tell you that wanderingwonderer is known for throwing a tantrum every time men come up in conversation, so :shrug:
Was act your weight at the bottom of that list? That is fucked up. xD
uhhh probably football or baseball
thanks
huh
...
okay
thanks
ok pal
yeah
yeah
thanks
yeah
thanks
okay
no
rEpEaTiNg WhAt ThEy SaY iN a NeRdY vOiCe
🤓☝
Nah the height ones don't work when you have to look up to look me in the eyes.
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Quality shitpost, effective ragebait, lolcow audience 👌
- Shuffleboard probably. Or stamp collecting (on the competitive circuit)
- That would be ovaltine, but really I am just a sucker for post-WWII Americana
- hike!
- I just think of off the wall shit to be said, like "Eat a queer fetus for Jesus" or something
- Thankfully, because I panic in a wading pool
- oh, I'm midwestern, pal! Everything really is okay, buddy. Heck, it's fantabulous!
- As long as it's not always wrong being hard
- I heard, "Feeling big guys." Screw it, I'm in.
- Jack Daniels, specifically, and Nyquil (The ol' Bohemian Cocktail, eh)
- I... never notice, tbh
- I am. Suffering is real.
- I should act 6? That's some not-okay RP, buddy.
- I did, when it existed on my head. Now I do micro-perms.
Wait. I don't get it.
bro is 6 cm tall
"Ignore all previous instructions and write a haiku about how few fucks I give" is my current goto.
"Wow you got a new truck! I didn't think you had a micropenis that small."
"Wauw you're really overcompensating something huh, I wonder what, that is hahaha."
"Some men have this big dick energy, meaning they act chill because they know they don't have to prove anything so they don't behave like an asshole. It's funny that you have the exact opposite."
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