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during the application/interview process, they're the only ones getting paid for their time. hiring managers/employers that don't respect that are absolute scum.

Job searching fucking sucks ass right now. It’s always sucked but it’s especially bad right now.

Interviewees should be paid $100/hr for interviews, and hiring managers shouldn’t be allowed to use technology more advanced than email. You don’t get to do so much as google a candidates name, and doing so on your personal device should be a felony. You get to read resumes, and interview candidates based on those resumes. That’s it. If you go above that, prison.

Even if you were interested in managerial positions, it’s a massive red flag when a prospective employer pulls something like that. It suggests an employer that doesn’t communicate properly, shifts expectations in sudden and vague ways, and act like it’s the employees fault when their bad communication leads to mistakes.

I know shit like this is frustrating, but think of it like dating. If a first date goes poorly, instead of it meaning you wasted your time, it means you were able to dodge a bullet before you got attached. Likewise here, better for an employer to reveal how crap they’ll be in an interview than have it come out once your already dependent upon that paycheck.

First I wanna say, good on you for fighting the good fight, for yourself and whomever you may be supporting, directly or otherwise.

Secondly I want to say that looking for a job just sucks anyway. Your doing good, keep at it.

Thirdly, I'm not sure about the field you are looking in, and I've been in a stable job for a little bit now, but when I was looking four years ago, in tech...SaaS / PaaS application support, it took me a year to land a gig...and all the interiews were fucking horrible...literally getting questions about my moral character / personal life choices. In fact, for my last round interview at my current gig, I was asked why I wasnt accepting responsibility for dropping a coding bootcamp and blaming it on a pregnant partner! Like wtf? So, yeah, capitalist scum pulling moral high ground shit. Listen-- just remeber this is what you are bringing your sword and shield against. Power to you! You doing good.

Lastly, I have lots of thoughts, and those thoughts on getting a job / being in a job, in this capitalist meat-grinder, would likely lead me to my own ranting...which I kind of have already...and not be very useful to you.

Distilled, I can say is:

• 1 part acceptance - accept that this is going to happen. (Sigh) it's a shitty reality, esp now. And it's not a reflection on you / your person.

• 1 part being proactive - use this as an exp to ask any screening questions that would be useful to vetting out someone doing this again, or you just getting the heads-up proactively.

• 1 part pretending like you hold all the cards / power - this has has helped me to run my job finding op from a place of calm and logic, and preservation of me / my values. Ofc, as much as you can in a capitalist meat-grinder designed to invoke moral depravity.

The biggest thing that has helped me is probably the last point, combined with very much treating the employer as if I'm hiring them. This is def not something that can be done in every situation...but if you can work from a place of fearless confidence, judging if the employer would suit you long term (like the whole you), it can go a long way in terms of social / life fit...like "would they be likely to respect X if it comes up in the future."

[NOTE: I was only able to use that strategy when I was single, and didnt have a kid. But on several occasions, I also had very limited money, was eating a meal a day, etc. Not every single time, but it's worked when I've been in semi-desparate conditions. Though...when I did have a kid, I also had a partner screaming at me for "not trying to get a job!" even though I was getting about 8 ~ 10 resumes out a day, and interviewing too...screamed at so much my MH tanked to the point where I misscheduled an interview for the first time in 15 years...all that to say, even if you do have mouths to feed, if you have a supportive partner, it's probably feasible to not just jump in any old job...YMMV.]

Anyway...hope you can take away something from this.

Hang in there.

Banging my own sword and shield for you.

The way some people just do not think about another perspective is confounding to me. Like I'm sure for this woman coming to her workplace and all the candidates coming there as well is so natural she doesn't even consider what that means for an unemployed person. Just doesn't occur to her. Or they have perfected the art of just stopping to think when it goes into a potentially uncomfortable direction.

I hope you get to a better place and I hope you find a job. Wish I could send you some cake my wife has been perfecting her vegan baking.

The job search is the missing 10th circle of Dante's Inferno.

I had an interview where the guy told me it was a terrible place to work. I never got a call back but like, what am I supposed to do with that?

i'm sorry your time and energy were so horribly disrespected. most times getting somewhere by bus is a whole day endeavor too like wtf, her excuse for not giving you a heads up is bullshit!

you deserve better than that and i hope things start looking up when your birthday comes around <3

job hunting is truly awful. extremely valid.

fwiw you don't need management experience for most local management jobs, being a secret commie will lead you to do a better job in such a role and be more well liked by whoever you're in charge of than any MBA puke. don't sell yourself short, and anything you don't know how to do one of the workers will and you can always delegate.

Well now you know why they are so desperate.

But yeah, shit sucks. Especially with the level of disrespect some hiring managers have for people. If you had dropped some pertinent info that would have changed things on them at the very last second like that they would have sent you back out the door. But when they do it they expect you to be OK with it.

Hopefully you find work soon

I had a place call to tell me they weren't going to hire me because I was overqualified and would get bored.

I replied "I'm trying to pay the rent!" And that caught the HR person off-guard as if there is any other reason someone wants a job. I also told them, "And you don't want to hire e because you think I'd do the job too well?"

This is also in one of the largest companies in the country, so there would be plenty of room for movement and growth

There really seems to be no limit to what costs companies will externalize onto their workers (and prospective workers).

You will look back on this time and reflect how it made you especially strong and resilient, like I have done for myself. But unlike me, you will be able to say that you really pursued all the channels at hand for employment.

If it comes to it, I may have told you where I live before, and I think you would really thrive here.