this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
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Not The Onion

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top 39 comments
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[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 137 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Staged corporatist bullshit. 0/10.

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 31 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Right? Who the fuck wants a KitKat? Nice try fuck heads. Give me a break.

[–] wolfeh@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 days ago

Break me off a piece of that KitKat truck.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Openly so. It even says so in the article.

KitKat Canada appeared to lean into the headlines, transforming a logistics nightmare into a marketing opportunity

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Might as well be the onion

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

The real joke is the amount of real chocolate in chocolate related products

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Lighten up, it's a solid joke.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

By corporate assholes

I'm not laughing, fuck these assholes

[–] murmelade@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago

Antichoclite!

[–] vk6flab@lemmy.radio 65 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Or .. you could just transport it in an unmarked truck, but then there wouldn't be this perfect free marketing "opportunity".

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It wasn't even that kind of a theft. They didn't like, run the truck off the road and steal the cargo or anything; they just posed as a scheduled relief driver and the prior driver handed them the keys, by my understanding.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's why "conman" is short for "confidence man".

They talked someone into just handing over the keys to a truck by acting like they belonged.

[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

Like Face and not BA.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

The KitKats are actually in the eurovan in the very back.

[–] Ludicrous0251@piefed.zip 22 points 2 days ago (2 children)

That's a lot of security theater to protect $10-worth of chocolate-like substance.

[–] obinice@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

How dare you besmirch the famous Nestlé name! They didn't murder all those babies and steal all that water and support all that slavery to have their chocolate insulted! How DARE

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

So the company did suffer one theft, and they turned it into a marketing stunt. Look at how delicious our product is. We have to guard the fuck out of it. They’re not even being coy about it. It’s very openly a marketing stunt. Meanwhile people are lining up here to say “I bet it’s just a marketing stunt!”

Congrats everyone - you win the bet.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

Do KitKats even have chocolate?

[–] Pman@lemmy.org 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

First of all FUCK NESTLE! Second fuck Nestlé

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Lol probably cost more than if the truck was just robbed tbh

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

This is a great use of human resources. /S

[–] Zamboni_Driver@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] yggstyle@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

This is 100 correct.

[–] stardreamer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We're two steps away from Snow Crash, where the pizza Deliverator carries a gun and a katana.

[–] northernlights@lemmy.today 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Lol "deliverator". Sounds like a movie with Schwarzenegger in it :)

[–] stardreamer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago

His name is Hiro Protagonist.

The other lead character is called Yours Truly.

There are very few people who do post-cyberpunk better than Stephenson.

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I have eaten 1 kitkat in the last 20 years but after all the news and viral posts, I will never eat one of those foul "chocolates" ever again.

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

All a ruse to justify hiking prices

[–] DeepChill@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Do they expect us to believe that there’s 12 tons or 24,000 pounds of chocolate bars in that little dinky toy of a truck? 

[–] e0qdk@reddthat.com 2 points 2 days ago

Jailbreak me a piece of that KitKat bar? 🤨️

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What's in the trailer on the right?

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Kinda hard to tell, but that's a tree service/arborist type bed on the truck, so I'm guessing probably wood rounds or wood chips.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

Yeah, I thought it might be a tree trunk