If you're questioning that one, you might also wonder why a flying fatman in a red coat distributing cheap Chinese toys to children is the symbol of Jesus' birth.
this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2026
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I mean, if you're going to criticize the source material, at least get it right! The toys are made in the north pole by elves. They just printed "made in China" on all the toys for no reason! The bigger issue is the fact that Santa is single handedly keeping the coal industry alive by sourcing it exclusively to give to bad kids. "Here is a small sample of an inferior fuel supply. If you pressurize it hard enough it may become diamond."
At least, that's what I said when I got coal. I was going to pressurize it, and it was going to become diamond, and then I'd buy all the toys! Fuck you Santa! You just gave me a fetch quest!
So I kept sitting on this coal, and nothing kept happening, on account of how science doesn't work. So in the end, I never got a pair of moon boots. Which is for the best, as they were later recalled for breaking the ankles of children who wore them.
Ah the 80s. What a dangerous time to be alive. Just like how the 70s were a dangerous time. And the 60s were a dangerous time. And the 90s were a dangerous time. And the 2000s were a dangerous time. And the 2010s were a dangerous time. And right now is a dangerous time.
Guys......we might just be a bunch of violent apes, cosplaying as an intelligent species. Every decade is a dangerous decade, except it really feels like the world isn't getting less dangerous, but it IS getting dumber. Hopefully the planet itself will soon decide to just expel us all from existence with another ice age, or randomly everything is 800 degrees. The important thing, is that we kill all the humans.
Toys have "made in china" written because Santa needs to somehow hide where it is actuslly made in and uses Chinese slave labor for packaging. Santa is the original slave master.
xoxo chris (simpsons artist)
While they were basket weaving, Jesus took egg, said the blessing, colored it, and giving it to his rabbits said, “Take and hide; this is my chocolate.”