I just can't wait for them to get to the ad part.
this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2026
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With you, together tastes better, especially with Coca Cola. Every day with you is an adventure as we taste the rainbow by eating Skittles in bed. Tonight, weβll put on our Nike shoes and just do it.
I kind of want to get married just to have a rug pull of a wedding.
I'd have vows like,
'In you, your name here, I found another living human with better medical coverage than me so I no longer have to break into clinics for my largely recreational prescriptions.
'In you, your name here, I found someone that usually doesn't cry and call the police when I make sexual advances and understands my mostly harmless but mind bendingly bizarre amorous proclivities.
'In you, your name here, I found someone with habits just as disgusting, if not moreso than mine, so we can keep each other in check while maintaining questionable living conditions and achieving new levels of swamp goblinism that wouldn't be sustainable alone.
And, most importantly, your name here, I get to split the rent with my best friend, and you can't just kick me out when the gleam is off the cube.'
Then we'd share long pulls from a vintage 40 oz bottle of malt liquor and sloppily make out for a few minutes before throwing the empty bottle into the crowd.
Once we'd loaded all the wedding gifts and departed the scene in a U haul van with 'Limo' spray painted on the side, the wedding party would be shuttled to the outskirts of Branson Missouri with a quirky scavenger hunt styled map that would ultimately lead to an Old Country Buffet that's been vacant since 2012.
Who says romance is dead.
My dad died last November and when I called the funeral home we'd picked out to come pick up his body, the answering service was fucking AI. It had a weird non-specific accent and when it repeated my father's name back for confirmation, it said "Robert common name R-O-B-E-R-T, Smith common name S-M-I-T-H." I was like "WTF? Common name?" I'm still made at myself for not telling them to go fuck themselves and using a different funeral home. For bonus points, the funeral home owner (with the same last name as one of the characters in The Sopranos) kept cracking jokes when we met with him, and then he ghosted me for two weeks and finally delivered the urn with the ashes in it at 8 pm the night before the interment ceremony, leaving them on my porch and splitting before I could talk to him.
But the fucking AI thing was the worst. I keep replaying the "condolences" it offered in my head.
I hope you left a review so other people know what they're getting into. bad enough that you had to deal with it
Man, "condolenses" from fucking AI sounds the worst jeeessh
I mean, it's bad coming from actual human beings involved in the funeral home business because you know that they absolutely do not really give a fuck in the slightest (not something I really hold against them because they have to be like that for their own sanity). But coming from AI is just next level awful.
My wife and I technically got married because of insurance.
We were already engaged for a year at that point, insurance just picked the date.
The people who asks LLM to make their vows is the same people who would google "wedding vows" and be done.
It's only a change in the tool used to be lazy
You don't understand, the problem isn't the people who put in no effort.
It's those evil LLMs, they are to blame.
βAnd that is why I will always love you.
If you want I can make a longer version that includes even more personalised material. Please share more anecdotes in order for me to do so.
The end.β
Adding that to a (non ai) vow on purpose would be hilerious, imho. Though depends on the people and mood if you could pull it off.
You're absolutely right!
π«No platitudes. π«No beating around the bush. β Just real human emotion.
Jesus. You nailed it.
...My love for you isn't just incredibly passionateβ it is a reflection of the immense amount of peace, hope, and gratitude I feel when I am with you.
There β¨. Would you like me to make it longer, or more personal?
Before that they were just some generic vows found on the internet, maybe a bit altered (βchange a few words so the teacher wonβt notice!β).
This may or may not be an unpopular opinion, but here it goes: Individualized wedding vows are stupid anyway, so you might as well use Google or ChatGPT for it. In the past, wedding vows were mostly the same for all couples and represented the cultural and/or religious context in which the wedding took place. They were also often generic and short, and their significance was mainly due to tradition and the fact that all couples made the same ones.
The huge, hyper-individualized wedding ceremonies we have today are great for wedding planning businesses, but it's okay to not want that, so long as your spouse is on board with it.
I disagree about the vows. Really big, expensive weddings suck. But, the ceremony that isn't individualized should be minimized as much as possible.
If you're going to make a vow that you want to be with someone for the rest of your life, the reason shouldn't be "it's just how things are done". It should be why you're making such a momentous decision about decades of your life. If there's generic paperwork to be done after that, then do it. But, don't make the generic paperwork the focus of the ceremony.
We rejected all of it, spent the dough on a super-vacation, and got married on the beach in the Caribbean. That was over 30 years ago, and no regrets at all.
We went to the registry office signed the paper and went on with our life. But ok, that were special circumstances.
Probably because they're the shittiest vows ever made.
AI-generated vows would be a corporate-mouthed blend of every vows ever made, completely unnoteworthy.
Only human beings could achieve the truly awful.
π Excited to Announce My Next Chapter
To my soon-to-be life partner and key stakeholder β
After extensive due diligence and a multi-year vetting process, I am thrilled to announce that I have accepted your proposal and am ready to onboard as your spouse, effective immediately.
When we first connected, I wasn't actively looking. But sometimes the best opportunities find you.
You came into my life at a pivotal inflection point, and I knew β after just a few touchpoints β that our synergies were undeniable. Your core competencies complement my growth areas in ways I never anticipated. Together, our combined bandwidth is truly greater than the sum of our parts.
Today, I want to publicly commit to the following KPIs for our partnership:
- π Continuous investment in your personal and professional development
- π€ Showing up as a collaborative thought partner, especially during Q4 of life
- π‘ Bringing my authentic self to every interaction, even the difficult ones
- π Iterating on our relationship with a growth mindset and radical transparency
- π Celebrating your wins as loudly as I celebrate my own β if not louder
I don't take this role lightly. I know there will be challenges. Pivots. Moments where we need to realign on our shared vision. But I am fully committed to doing the work, leaning in, and never letting perfect be the enemy of good.
You are not just my partner. You are my north star, my biggest champion, and honestly? The best culture fit I have ever encountered.
I am so grateful to the mentors, connectors, and mutual connections who helped us get here. You know who you are.
Here's to building something truly disruptive β together. π₯
I'm open to questions. Let's connect.
#Blessed #NewBeginnings #LifePartnership #GrowthMindset #Grateful #OpenToOpportunities (just kidding) #ForeverSeries #MarriedLife
You forgot to accidentally include the follow-up prompts at the end.
Would you like me to prepare this as a one page executive summary?
The interesting thing about this was initially I thought it would be funny for a human to write something that seems AI generated and would keenly read it and laugh along, But I'm assuming this is merely a prompt and now I can't be bothered reading it.
Well, 5 years ago, they cried about wedding vows written by someone else, too. Instead of ChatGPT, they came from the first Google search result.
Also ChatGPT vows can be way more customized and personalized than Google vows. Give it roughly want you want to say and iterate until it sounds the way you want.
Besides the energy consumption I don't think it's bad. You're just using a tool like before you might have used a thesaurus or dictionary to search for the right words.
The only problem I see with it is the usual pitfall of LLMs.
"We're not stupid", the AI fans say. "Of course we look through the output carefully, and will meticulously make sure it makes sense." And then they don't actually do that.
"It's only one of the tools at our disposal, don't worry!" ...so what other tools did these giant AI fans use, again? Oh.
I mean, if people genuinely actually use LLMs just as one tool among many, and actually genuinely find a way to use them to improve their own output, it's great! (For example, I'm using AI for image captioning and it cuts down a lot of work.)
I'm just saying that I often need to take claims that people are using these tools responsibly with some grains of salt, though.
I'm so thankful that I got to retire from the programming profession before this AI shit took over (although I did get to spend a couple of decades burdened by junior developers, which is basically the same thing). If I were still in the shit, I would use LLMs for their proper purpose: proving to management that I'm using AI.
Oh look, there's the human race, giving up all control when offered. WTF is wrong with us?
enstupidification
Soul-crushing capitalism
Eh.
In this particular aspect the means of delivery is not really consequential.
We would have done it regardless.
I just want a nice romantic wedding where we both slit each other's wrists and drink each other's blood.
If you are B+ slide me those digits.
I don't know what my blood type is.
Oof this one hurts. I hate this life time.
Jokes on her, I used copilot
That's just ChatGPT with extra steps.
I used a local model to generate the text to used a local model to generate the text to used a local model to generate the text.
Why do I hear them in Stephen Hawking's voice?
Dr. SBAITSO is calling you on the soft whisper of the wind.
So, tell me about your problem....
WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME? lolololololol
See though now that cool, aloof, intellectual that is usually so stoic is crying now too. Also applies to funerals.
Someone is asking chatgpt to generate their wedding speech now.
Two years ago that was the go-to joke: "I was having trouble with this speech so I just got chatgpt to write it".
Nervously stands up, takes microphone, and looks down at a sheet of paper: "-clears throat- Sure, I can help with that!..."
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