this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2026
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This may or may not be an unpopular opinion, but here it goes: Individualized wedding vows are stupid anyway, so you might as well use Google or ChatGPT for it. In the past, wedding vows were mostly the same for all couples and represented the cultural and/or religious context in which the wedding took place. They were also often generic and short, and their significance was mainly due to tradition and the fact that all couples made the same ones.
The huge, hyper-individualized wedding ceremonies we have today are great for wedding planning businesses, but it's okay to not want that, so long as your spouse is on board with it.
I disagree about the vows. Really big, expensive weddings suck. But, the ceremony that isn't individualized should be minimized as much as possible.
If you're going to make a vow that you want to be with someone for the rest of your life, the reason shouldn't be "it's just how things are done". It should be why you're making such a momentous decision about decades of your life. If there's generic paperwork to be done after that, then do it. But, don't make the generic paperwork the focus of the ceremony.
We rejected all of it, spent the dough on a super-vacation, and got married on the beach in the Caribbean. That was over 30 years ago, and no regrets at all.
We went to the registry office signed the paper and went on with our life. But ok, that were special circumstances.