this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2023
892 points (97.6% liked)
Microblog Memes
11240 readers
1856 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
RULES:
- Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
- Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
- You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
- Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
- Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
- Absolutely no NSFL content.
- Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
- No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.
RELATED COMMUNITIES:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
if you want to say that you told someone else to change a light bulb you could write:
oversaw the rapid deployment of a new environmental illumination system in accordance with all existing industry health and safety regulations.
Ah but you could use that wording anyway to leave it ambiguous because you technically oversaw the work by performing it single-handedly with no external oversight
You were a team leader
I'm not writing a fanfic just to get hired by your god damn company.
Then you might be either lucky or currently homeless.
Bold of you to assume I had zero safety incidents...
Adapted to changing conditions, recovered from unexpected downtime
F
Over the weekends, I demonstrated adeptness in the strategic incorporation of vaporized botanicals for cognitive enhancement, complemented by the consummate management of nutritional intake through artisan-crafted, tuber-derived consumables.
Sorry, we need someone with expertise in dairy based frozen desserts.
Absolute class craft consumables only hahaha
That's obviously a misleading resume.
He must have used both hands.
Zero safety incidents
No one's gonna believe that, gotta make it at least a little realistic
I mean, how badly can you fuck up changing a lightbulb?
If you happen to be uninstalling an old light that has mercury or whatever toxic things are in it you could poison yourself if you break it.
Don't get me started on those stupid ass "open architecture" or whatever the fuck they call it with lightbulbs on a celing 40 fucking feet above a flight of stairs...
Provided leadership and experience guiding me employees through a complex project. Also created a technical manual covering the implementation for the next team.
guiding me employees
Arrr drink up me hearties yo ho
What if I had help tho?
Then you write "lead team in managing" whatever
Image Transcription: Twitter Posts
consigliere, @moyodre
How would you write "I changed a light bulb" on your resume?
M, @MuyiwaSaka
Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.