this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 109 points 3 days ago (6 children)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

If lemmy had an equivilent of retweeting, I would.

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[–] Paragone@lemmy.world 61 points 3 days ago (7 children)

There is a minimum-amount of fission-fuel required, AND there is a minimum-amount of conventional-explosives required to compress the fission-fuel until it goes supercritical.

That detonator isn't going to be small-enough to hide in a vest.

Absolute disinformation.

_ /\ _

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 28 points 3 days ago (1 children)

JD should stick to fucking couches, not nuclear physics.

[–] Ariselas@piefed.ca 15 points 2 days ago

I mean, yeah, the Davie Crockett could fit in a back pack, a really big back pack 0hPf1HdHAWM2L90.webp

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It is stupid for even more reasons than that. I've thought about it back when North Korea had pretend nuclear suicide bombers march on their military parade.

Even if somehow they manage to cram one in a backpack that is carriable by a person, there is no advantage whatsoever given the blast radius. You will have to use a vehicle of sorts to get near the enemy and more importantly away from your friendlies anyway. Whatever distance you can cover on foot afterwards won't make much of a difference. Might as well make it vehicle borne.

Also the whole point of a suicide vest is to be able to get in the middle of an unaware crowd or near your target before using it. With a nuke you don't need to be in the middle of a targeted crowd or get that close to your target to have an effect.

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[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 43 points 2 days ago (2 children)

This is the same JD Vance that repeatedly falsely claimed immigrants were eating cats and dogs in his home state, is it not?

I'm not saying a nuclear suicide vest couldn't be done. I'm just saying, JD Vance has claimed lots of things.

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[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Iran could turn their front line soldiers into beings of pure energy and they could rip the life force right out of a tank.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Holy hell...... Iran's chalk full of Anime Protagonists

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

JD Vance, also known as a couch fucker, could develop pubic hair within the next 15 years, endangering his aim while peeing as he won't be able to find his micropenis anymore and won't be able to shave it out of fear of shaving his micropenis off. Couches would finally be safe.

Spread the word.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

public hair

I'd rather it not be visible to the public as I'm a member of the public

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[–] harcesz@szmer.info 17 points 2 days ago

USA could develop a more fuckable couch, and ride us of one problem, but here we are.

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 30 points 3 days ago (3 children)

'Iran could develop hulk technology and teleport directly into US schools!' JD Vance

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

As if they would ever be concerned about potential violence in schools

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[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 days ago

‘Iran could develop time travel and kill Milton Friedman!’ JD Vance

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[–] WandowsVista@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

at this point, he's just my mom's facebook news feed in human form.

... and unfortunately it's working.

[–] lechekaflan@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Whatever, punchable face.

[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 22 points 3 days ago (3 children)

These fuckers are so inept at propaganda, it's kinda sad.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

Dont underestimate the stupidity of their target audience, and the arrogant complacency of his opposition. Its why we have him in the first place. Twice. Half of the second group is still probably going to sit out the primaries and midterms.

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[–] Naich@piefed.world 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Just a reminder that the 9/11 attackers did it with knives.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Kinda wild, I vividly remember getting on a plane to Disney with my grandparents as a child (Pre 9/11). My grandpa had a swiss army knife on him when we went through security. I asked him how he was able to get that through, and he said it's a small knife; nothing to worry about. It's legal as long as it's smaller than my palm. I said what if someone brought a knife like that and stabbed the pilot. He laughed it off and said I watch too much TV. Then 9/11 happened and guess how they did it? How did 8 year old me have more sense than whoever was running airports in those days?

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Pre-9/11 security in American airports was wild to me. There had been a load of plane hijackings in Europe before my time so it was always fairly locked down but I distinctly remember San Diego airport you could basically walk in off the street and nearly be at the plane when people were disembarking in the late 90s.

[–] ugandan_airways@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

I used to get really really high as a teenager and go walk around the airport and people watch as a teenager. No one checked shit. And this was at one of the busiest airports in the world.

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[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago

Box cutters

[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

JD Vance also claims he's capable of pleasing his wife.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 22 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This shit again? Last time it was a brief case dirty bomb.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Etterra@discuss.online 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] SippyCup@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It stands for Jack Diznutzov. I heard it from a fella. Very smart guy.

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[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Id argue a rapist president plus a complicit govt is more dangerous. How about getting rid of those first?

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[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Why would anyone believe this? Who is ret*rded enough to believe this?

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago
[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's a big vest. Should be easy to spot.

[–] ours@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

For reference, the SADM portable nuke was made to be carried by paratroopers into enemy territory. 4 soldier would each carry one 18kg part of the weapon.

A 72kg vest sounds quite the chonker.

Monkeys might fly out of Iran's butt.

[–] itisileclerk@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I claim that Americans have idiot VP, iVP short.

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[–] tal@lemmy.today 11 points 3 days ago (10 children)

Nuclear terrorism might be a thing, but I seriously doubt that the easiest way to do it is nuclear suicide vests. Miniaturizing nuclear warheads is a pain. If you were going to do something like that, you'd be better off doing something akin to a truck bomb.

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[–] dasrael@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago

from couch fucker to science fiction politician, what a career!

JD Vance makes blithering halfwits sound like Einstein.

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