Piracy: ꜱᴀɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ꜱᴇᴀꜱ

Kick Ass 2

I am not lying but it was cam and the person below the cammer was talking and he said something along the lines of "oi mate, shut the fuck up I'm trynna film this, what's fair is fair right? Shut your fawking mouth."

I could not believe what I heard and started laughing.

Not a movie, but I pirated the Tomacco Simpsons episode onto a CD. DVD players couldn't actually play it, but it played the audio in a CD player just fine. I would listen to it when I fell asleep. I was on odd kid.

Friend of mine got one of the Kingsman movies and before the opening credits was what I could only guess was the Russian pirater's homemade rap video; he was injecting his own ads into the media.

Ok this is a whole story.

So back in the 90s, my mum's friend came back from working in Kuwait for a few years.She gave us a bunch of pirated disney movies. These were cams, but camcorders from the 90s. The video quality was terrible, and several had ads all through them for some burger place like their equivalent of burger king. The ads had some guy dressed in Saudi style robes and turban watching his burger get eaten by an invisible genie or something.

One of the films was Beauty and the Beast. Seeing it now, it's like a whole different movie. As a kid, it was gritty, darkly lit the whole time because of the shitty camera, and because of that it had this severely oppressive horror feel to it. It also didn't have any ads. As kids, that was one terrifying movie. There was no Disney brightness and joy. Just darkness.

When I and my sister were kids, dad brought home a pirated VHS of the Sixth Day with Schwarzenegger. CAM quality shit but the worst part is that whoever was pirating the movies was using recycled VHS tapes... Porn VHS tapes, so after the movie ended there were like maybe 10 seconds of static and then just hardcore porn.

I remember getting a copy of American Pie 2 off Kazaa or edonkey and it literally being handycamed in a theatre with people laughing and getting up and walking past the camera during the movie

Return of the King [2003] cam Xvid while it was still in theaters. A nearly 3.5-hour film compressed enough to fit on a 700MB CD or two.

A download of the Stephen Chow film 回魂夜 (Out of the Dark) (1995) that I got with eMule in the late 00s/early 10s.

It's a horror comedy, much of which takes place at night. Meaning it's dark to begin with. But this copy was an RMVB file, a format developed to show a postage-stamp-size streaming video on a web page in the last days of the dial-up era. The video was so low res and dark barely anything was visible.

In addition the subtitles were of the shitty, burned-in, let's-not-bother-paying-a-real-translator type. So I couldn't see and I couldn't understand anything 😅

Still got it on a DVD-R somewhere, though.

When I wanted to learn Polish, I obviously downloaded Star Wars in Polish because it should be fun. I had a shitty connection and it took me 4 days to download everything (like, oh it's all the movies in uncompressed Full-HD grab your pop corn).

I discovered that they use lektors in Poland, people who speak in the most boring way on top of the English dialogues. You can hear the original audio in the background, which makes it worse. I deleted everything in less than 10 seconds.

I got a Downton Abbey movie for a friend. Someone had recorded it from their chair in the theater. Fully handheld.

Haha memory unlocked, it was the first transformers movie, it started off perfectly, clean picture, good audio, but by the end of it we had been treated to about 6 different versions, form camcorder out of the movie theatre with people moving around, different languages and sub titles, was an experience lol

Pokémon: The First Movie (1998), which I had downloaded with Kazaa, turned out to be a Pokémon hentai ripoff, which my parents got to before I had a chance to come home from school. I walked in on mom and dad sitting in front of the computer, trying to act intrigued at what they're watching. Possibly trying to justify why their child is into Pokémon porn. I did my homework and helped doing the dishes that day. Can you believe that?

Now You See Me. I don't know if it was intentional by the uploader, but it was completely "out of order". The video played fine, but all of the scenes were mixed up, so we were really confused. It happened on scene cuts though so it wasn't totally obvious and at first we thought it was just some sort of weird editing technique because of the subject of the movie.

The Video-CD had many advantages, you can record on regular CD-R and play on any dvd player. Also, the quality was crap!

I couldn't watch more than 10 minutes of it. It was a CAM that you could hear coughs, laughs, people talking to each other.

What's up with these "Hello fellow pirates" posts with AI seeming language from piefed.social accounts made 2-3 days ago?

When the first 50 Shades of Grey movie came out in theaters, my friends who went to see it were discussing how hilariously terrible it was. I love watching awful garbage like that for funsies, so I torrented it. It took forever because of my shitty connection.

When I was finally able to watch it, it just made no sense. But not at all like how a bad movie makes no sense. It felt like it was skipping around. I was so confused.

After some web searches, I realized that I think I somehow got my hands on some weird, badly-censored Chinese copy where they just cut out anything remotely saucy. Which was most of the movie, hence it not making any damn sense.

I still haven't seen the actual movie, since I just never bothered to try again, but that experience was pretty entertaining.

A Serbian Film.... don't watch it. You have been warned.

The Catwoman starring Halle Berry. Not only I found the movie sort of lame, also the quality of it was... Well. Someone went to the cinema and filmed the projection with a hand held camera. The image quality was trash, but the camera moved all the time, occasionally shaking. You got to hear the occasional cough or candy wrap noise from the audience, you got to see people standing up and moving across the camera because they needed a toilet break. You get the idea.

Well, I originally saw both Blair Witch and H20 played from really dark and messy VHS copies of theater recordings.... And man, let me tell ya, they were both way better as low quality cams that HD movies!

I intentionally watch bad Horror as cams now, when I can, even decades later... It really adds to the experience!

The Dark Knight Rises. I was in middle school, and my someone had told my parents that it was extremely violent. Anyway, my cousin had a pirated copy, so I watched it at his place. We could literally hear people chomping on popcorn, and see moving heads lol.

It was fairly good quality, but Morbius.

I remember buying a VCD of some movie around 2000 and then 20 minutes in, I see the outline of someone getting up and walking out of the cinema the cam release was recorded in! I quit watching and from there on I only go for quality rips.

I bought a film DVD from a local shop (pirated, of course) and 2 songs and a few minutes before the interval didn't play properly, probably due to the disc being scratched or something.

If you're wondering, "songs?"... It was a Bollywood film. We had a lot of songs in films. Now a days, there's like 3 or 4 songs, ~3 minutes each. Up to around 2010, especially in the 80s and 90s films used to have 8-10 songs, some even 5-6 minutes long.

I got the screener of Signs before it came out in theaters. It was a solid copy, despite being a meh movie. DVD quality, had the red band that would scan diagonally across the image every few minutes, not a shitty cam.

The new Naked Gun was really bad and not funny at all. It was torture to watch.