this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2026
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Slop.

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https://xcancel.com/TimesNow/status/2033938026360148181

Full text:

"The United States has been informed by most of our NATO “Allies” that they don’t want to get involved with our Military Operation against the Terrorist Regime of Iran, in the Middle East, this, despite the fact that almost every Country strongly agreed with what we are doing, and that Iran cannot, in any way, shape, or form, be allowed to have a Nuclear Weapon. I am not surprised by their action, however, because I always considered NATO, where we spend Hundreds of Billions of Dollars per year protecting these same Countries, to be a one way street — We will protect them, but they will do nothing for us, in particular, in a time of need. Fortunately, we have decimated Iran’s Military — Their Navy is gone, their Air Force is gone, their Anti-Aircraft and Radar is gone and perhaps, most importantly, their Leaders, at virtually every level, are gone, never to threaten us, our Middle Eastern Allies, or the World, again! Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer “need,” or desire, the NATO Countries’ assistance — WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea. In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE!"

top 31 comments
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[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 39 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Messy vagueposting is actually a very important tactical maneuver in wars.

[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago

WTF I'm a US army general?

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

another roaring success in Operation Actually Everyone At My Intervention Is Actually An Alcoholic NOT Me I'M FINE And The Stress of Dealing With YOUR DRAMA Makes Me Need Another Drink So Thanks A Lot Grandma You Fucking Drunk

[–] miz@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

applying all the lessons learned during Operation I'm Not an Alcoholic You're the Alcoholic You Go to Fucking Rehab if It's So Cool No Seriously How About You Go If You Want to Talk Shit About Me Only God Can Judge Me Dude

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

A good follow-up to Operation Driving Drunk To My Intervention Because You Make Me So Fucking Mad When You Call Me an Alcoholic Just Because I Have 4 DUIs Even Though That's YOUR Fault Not MINE.

[–] RedNajm@hexbear.net 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

This one feels like it's going to get more realivent as time goes on.

[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

realivent

Kids these days and their euphemisms, I thought unalived was bad enough!

[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Fuck my baka life my dyslexia HATES that word.

Me when I'm responding to an email about Palestine: re:levant.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 1 points 3 weeks ago

Talking about Juche Necromancy on youtube is heavily censored, so they have to get creative.

[–] rufuscrispo@hexbear.net 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

one can only assume the war effort is going exceptionally well!

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

One can't even figure out what else is there even to go on, everything is won over & not existing anymore.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

For a nation that has been completely wiped out they sure keep launching lots of missiles still.

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"I'm taking my ball and going home. I don't need you losers anyway"

  • Trump the 5 year old
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

I didn't shit my pants on the bus and that isn't shit leaking out of my pants. If it's so important to you that only you noticed then maybe YOU shit my pants. I actually no longer need or desire to shit my pants, and never did tbh, no thanks to you pants-shitter.

[–] Busgirl@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is the most incoherent post, I've seen so far!

[–] purpleworm@hexbear.net 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There was also the one where he said Iran has already surrendered to its neighbors and also won't surrender for decades

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Something about the phrase "No longer need nor desire, and never did" is like :who-did-this: -level absurdist poetry. Incoherent, afraid, and desperate is a really powerful combination for posting.

[–] Ekranoplane@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago

Incoherent, afraid, and desperate

Don't talk about my nightlife

[–] Johnny_Arson@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago

It's funny till you remember this guy has access to the largest nuclear stockpile on earth.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago

and another thing, don't put in the paper that I got mad, i'll do it myself

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

Didn't come out as well as I'd hoped, but shrug-outta-hecks

[–] Tatar_Nobility@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Does he post by himself or someone manages his account? I can only imagine him rambling nonstop and an assistant hesitantly copying whatever shit he comes up with.

[–] senseamidmadness@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

This is definitely him -- that end sentence and signoff is his personal signature lately.

[–] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The US is the terrorist regime. Repeat, share, repeat, share.

Death to the US regime.

[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Trump's posting quality has gone severely downhill since he found the first problem of his life he can't post his way out of.

Bring back 120-character limits so we don't have to read these walls of vomited text

[–] Liketearsinrain@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago

I didn't want grapes anyway

Tag yourself I'm Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea.