this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2026
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[–] dizzle18@lemmy.zip 35 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Which country will one of these people end up getting murdered? My money’s on France. Someone is going to douse their steak au poivre in bacon flavored ranch, and the reaction won’t be pretty.

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My money is on Italy the moment they try using it as pasta sauce.

[–] dizzle18@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

If they can even survive past asking why their pizza doesn’t have any cheese on it.

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[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Okay I get that it might be dangerous but I'm not sure if I am more or less intrigued now

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

It's fine as long as they livestream it

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago
[–] digital_man@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] ThanksObama@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

Ranch it up bro!

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Honestly, if he isn't picked they are just losing money on this.

[–] return2ozma@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (5 children)

In Europe they don't know what ranch is so Cool Ranch Doritos are called Cool American Doritos...

[–] sauerkrautsaul@lemmus.org 7 points 1 month ago

in ireland its called Cool Original

[–] atan@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] logi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

And with what Americans have been up to recently, they're going to have to rename it again.

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[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 22 points 1 month ago

No no, this makes sense. The world's opinion of us is already as low as it can possibly get, this can only help. Not likely but how much worse could it get?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Listen, I love ranch, but you're gonna want to convince the Scots and let them try to convince everyone else. Ranch is amazing on fried food, and by fuck does Scotland fry food.

[–] pet1t@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I want to see an American eat haggis with ranch

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[–] switcheroo@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Ngl, I would love a trip to Europe. I'm not the biggest fan of ranch but I'd put ranch on every damn thing they want. Europeans would be side eyeing me like mad. Wouldn't care. Got free trip.

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[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

They should bring Eric Andre along, he knows how to Ranch It Up!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 1 month ago

After having gone out and tried other brands of ranch (hidden valley was my family's goto all my life), I have found that I aftually quite hate hidden valley's.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Free food, traveling across Europe, and all the ranch I can eat? Sign me the fuck up

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[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago (5 children)

My unpopular opinion

Ranch is disgusting

[–] PodPerson@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We make ranch at home to occasionally dip things in, and it’s enjoyable. However, the slimy, sour shit that comes out of a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch is diagusting.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Homemade ranch really is on another level! Cheaper than the bottled stuff too. $1.50 for a small thing of sour cream and another $1 for a package of seasoning. I used to just use whatever was in my spice cabinet, but the package is so convenient if you just want it easy.

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[–] EtnaAtsume@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I grew up in the Midwest and have hated it since I was a kid.

Oh the ostracization!

[–] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I used to like it, but nowadays I much prefer vinaigrettes. Ginger based Asian ones are good too. White sauces generally feel kinda heavy to me.

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[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 7 points 1 month ago

EU: USA wtf are you doing? THE WORLD IS ON FIRE!!!!! STOP! STOP!!!!! STOP!!!!!! Nobody likes that!! Get all your stuff away from everywhere!!

USA: Oh my bad, how about we come on over there and put our stuff on your food? That’ll make everyone happy right?

EU: FFFFFFF!!!!!!!

[–] axx@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 month ago

This is more than a job — it’s a cultural exchange powered by an incredibly versatile flavor

Good luck with that, don't die.

[–] canadian_commie@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago

This new form of American imperialism is shockingly evil.

[–] bad1080@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago

assistant to the branch-assador

[–] sauerkrautsaul@lemmus.org 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Ok but I have to break the news to you: I know many European people who have gone ape shit when they tried ranch for the first time.

[–] T156@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I can never quite tell whether that means that they loathed it, or that they went mad for it.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ranch induced psychosis is a terrible blight on humanity!

[–] T156@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

It really is a terrible business. I had a friend who went the United States once, tried it, and then had a psychotic break where he started thinking he was a male sheep.

He ultimately had to be sent to a farm upstate for treatment. Some place called the Ram Ranch.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

The place with all the throbbing cocks? I hear they produce the best poultry.

[–] sauerkrautsaul@lemmus.org 2 points 1 month ago

they went wild, as in good. like when a dog gets its first taste of ice cream. they go bananas, knocking tables over and smashing into bookshelves to get their prissy little european hands on that tub of ronch

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[–] truthfultemporarily@feddit.org 5 points 1 month ago

Another Walmart moment.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Litehouse is better (it has what the ranch craves (buttermilk))

[–] Jiral@lemmy.org 4 points 1 month ago

What's that "Ranch"? Just the usual mix of fat and sugar to drown any food and its taste with, good American style?

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Seeing the title photo of the article, I hope they will be put behind bars for capital culinary crimes.

[–] Ilixtze@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 month ago

They keep inventing new forms of terrorism

[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They should bring better ranch. Nothing will taste good with shit like Hidden Valley.

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[–] EmpatheticTeddyBear@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

The perfect representative doesn't exist... Nvm.

https://m.youtube.com/@cowphobia8623

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago
[–] solrize@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

omg this is literally about salad dressing. The photo looks AI too.

[–] Lanske@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I don't know how ranch tastes, but i always read "rank".

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[–] bomberesque@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I just showed this to my Italian work colleagues.

Ranch dressing on pizza....

Torches are lit, pitchforks are at the ready

And I haven't even explained to them what ranch dressing is yet

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