this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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If Jesus doesn't have their wallet key, flipping their table won't matter. The transaction is being conducted on the blockchain. This demonstrates how crypto is the future of finance.

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[–] plinky@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One would think jesus has access to quantum cryptography breaking algos though

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Doesn't matter. Cold storage wallets would allow the temple moneylenders to protect their digital assets against Jesus.

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 1 points 1 month ago

Looks like cold storage just activated and sent money to the shrimp jesus jr., oops

[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

just fill their data center water cooling systems up with fish, boom

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago

Turn the water cooling to wine cooling.

[–] Tabitha@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

I doubt that would do anything more than kill the fish.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

Honestly the fish miracle is a perfect example of how crypto can change the world. Jesus gave a man a fish and he ate for a day. If Jesus had instead given him a limited-run NFT of the same fish, its value would appreciate over time. The man could participate in the MiracleFish community or sell it to fund his own crypto projects and mog Christ.

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

You can crack any password with a pipe wrench and a couple of friends

[–] Tabitha@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Probably he would minecraft a whole data center.