this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2026
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Me (13 years old at the time): Dad, Mom’s cheating on you. I saw her making out with this man.

Dad: Listen here, princess. The guy’s filthy rich, and when you have money, it’s normal to have a hot mistress like your mom.

Me: But aren’t you jealous?

Dad: laughs

I was flabbergasted, lmao.

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[–] AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Had a high school friend who relied on the pullout method bc condoms made things "too awkward." After a close call with a person (I'll call them X) who's life was full of drama:

"Don't get me wrong, I'm very prolife, but if I found out I was pregnant with X's baby, I would get an abortion."

I must have made a face bc she then quickly tried to clarify "If it was Y or Z though, I would keep the baby." 🤦‍♀️

[–] OpenPassageways@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago

That Democrats were aborting babies after they are born, and that immigrants are eating our cats and dogs.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago

I listened to a video yesterday about the beliefs of sovereign citizens. These whackjobs think the Untied States isn't a country but a corporation and that they don't have to obey laws if they opt out of membership. They believe laws about driving only apply to transporting goods and that otherwise you're merely "traveling". And other such nonsense I'm not sure how to explain

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

There's no such thing as a flu vaccine, that's why they call it a "flu shot"

I haven't taken anything this person says seriously since then

[–] Kcap@lemmy.world 35 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I own a bar and before we opened I reached out to one of those novelty vending machine companies that sells weird stuff and gags. The guy came down to meet to discuss the design of the machine etc, super nice guy. His daughter came too, she was an artist and was going to paint the machine. They sent mockups and got to work, everything seemed good to go ahead of our opening.

A week before we open, I reach out to see when they want to install it and I get no reply. I try again a few days later and get a very formal message to the effect of "we're super sorry but we're not going to be able to pursue this opportunity at this time, best of luck". I'm pissed that time was wasted, the machine was finished, I had seen final pictures with our logo and design etc. I figured maybe they got some bigger offer from like the local stadium to install a machine that they couldn't pass up.

Months go by, I've found another company that's working on a new machine for us. Original guy texts me "hey, are you at the bar, I'd love to stop by and explain what happened." I start to tell a customer at the bar about what happened and I'm like, I don't wanna talk to this guy in my mind, and I look up, and he's standing outside the bar in the rain. He comes in, and he looks like he's been to hell and back.

He's so different this time, very soft spoken, tail between his legs vibes. He apologizes and said they had a family issue that prevented them from moving forward, but they working on getting back on track. I feel bad and trying to be empathetic, and then the guy goes, "I'm sorry, but my wife just didn't want me working with you because of David."

"Who the fuck is David?" I reply. "David Devolla" he says. I have no idea who he's talking about. I've never met his wife, or this David person. Then he goes "wait, can I ask you a weird question? Are you straight?" "Yeah man..."

"GOD DAMNT, SHE DID IT AGAIN" he said. I'm so confused right now. He then proceeds to tell me that his wife has been battling psychosis and having major mental issues. Apparently, this David guy was her former boss that fired her, and even though I've never met her, or David, and am straight, she was convinced I was having a secret gay affair with David and told her husband he wasn't allowed to do business with me. What the actual fuck. Dude started creeping me out big time. He came in again a week later and told me he was driving to Vegas the next morning to marry his wife because even though he said they were married, they never actually were, and he believed doing so would fix her mental state. I follow them on Instagram still and I can tell you, it did not. She posts the absolute weirdest nonsensical things and it's honestly entertaining to watch but also sad as hell. Bullet dodged, the new company is so so much better, but yikes all around. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[–] mitkase@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Marrying someone to fix their issues is a lot like having a kid to save a marriage.

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[–] shyguyblue@lemmy.world 53 points 4 days ago (2 children)

The Aunt that never finished elementary school once told me:

"I don't believe in evolution, because I didn't believe a baby could be born smarter than its parents"

I was 10-13 years old at the time and just didn't have the patience to deal with that level of stupid.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It bothers me that Creationists somehow think failing to understand Evolution is the same as debunking it.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "No that's not evolution, that's just an adaptation."

[–] shyguyblue@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Ugh, that's exactly why it's impossible to argue or even educate them, their definition is so skewed and the complete and utter lack of critical thinking skills.

PS: I'm gunna use that: "Your failing to understand is not debunking, it's only showing your complete and utter ignorance/stupidity..."

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[–] noseatbelt@piefed.ca 56 points 4 days ago (2 children)

My coworker once started a conversation by casually asking if I'd ever "done anything" with a cousin. Obviously the conversation ended with him revealing he'd fucked his cousin and me saying WTF progressively louder and louder for at least a minute. I work from home now.

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[–] halcyoncmdr@piefed.social 63 points 4 days ago (4 children)

That doesn't sound like cheating, that's more like an open relationship. He knew about it and didn't care.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 37 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

The financial incentive makes it closer to pimping than swinging, at least potentially. Idk if the possibility the dad was getting something out of it besides, I guess, sexual pleasure stemming from cuckoldry makes it better or worse...

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[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 47 points 4 days ago (4 children)

My bio father just passed away. I was talking to his best friend of 45 years, basically his brother, and he casually dropped he was raped as a boy. I had asked about my fathers sister, because a lot of that family is scattered and a mess, the daughter of the sister "something happened" is all I know. And he said molestation, and then that he too, was molested by a man as a boy. I was really proud of the 68 year old mam telling me that.

But fucking, add it to the list. Men need a fucking 'me too' because I know so, so, many.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I really hate the idea that rape is just "Something that happens to women"

I'm a trans woman, but when I was sexually assaulted I was an 11 year old boy. Nothing was ever done about it, because it was another boy that did it and "Boys will be boys"

[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

I'm sorry that happened. It's not boy's will be boy's, and it clearly doesn't just happen to women. It's important we hear everyone's story, and hopefully create some meaningful change in society at large.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Men need to learn to talk about their issues in general. My pops was brutal when I was a kid. It wasn't until I grew up that I finally understood that he was made that way. His own dad basically destroyed him.That didn't excuse all the terrible things he did but it did explain it. It was hard to be angry with him after that. I felt sad for him. That's a heavy load to carry all alone.

As a rule, I try to never justify someone's abuse by saying that person was abused themselves. We must all do what we can to stop the cycle of violence.

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[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago

Not necessarily unhinged, per se, but I knew a former very high ranking military IED specialist who would sweep the white house and places where the president would be going to before they showed up, every chance he got he bare ass farted on the Bush’s pillows.

He ended up being a pretty shitty guy, but I’m still going to give him Chad points for that one.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Probably not the most unhinged but a few weeks ago a coworker told me that Trump is the only president in history whose net worth went down after becoming president.

He's not FAR right so I usually hear him out and use kid gloves to counter his arguments but I involuntarily replied, "are you out of your fucking mind?!"

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I actually had a friend be baffled by me saying Gavin Newsom was a neo-liberal, he swore that Gavin was this ultra leftist and by not liking him I "proved no one's Left enough for me."

Fuck me for wanting a President who doesn't meet up with Charlie Kirk and pals on a podcast to talk about how transpeople eat puppies.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He's what the right thinks of when they think of a democrat. Very corporate

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I thought when the Right thought of a Democrat, they thought of a purple haired hippie wearing a pussy hat and a health mask on a college campus who wears his pronouns on a name tag at all times.....a caricature that doesn't actually represent any group that actually exists.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

The voter has blue hair, the politician wears the suit

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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 45 points 4 days ago (13 children)

Oh jeez... heads up: a lot of racism and very vile unhinged shit being described: (seriously, it's gonna make your blood boil if you read this, last warning):

So my older brother is a racial supremacist and hates black and brown people.

And I already know what you're thinking when you hear the term "racist": "must be a white dude in southern rural US"

No, no no no. We are a family of immigrants. We are non-white. We're from China.

The first time I heard about this was like sometime around 2017 to 2020. My older brother was complaining about African Migrant workers living in China... a country he no longer has citizenship status in... because he went through the US citizenship process to become a citizen of a multi-racial immigrant country...

So... to reiterate: a non-white immigrant is complaining about other races in his ancestral country that he has no citizenship in... let that sink in...

Literally "White Replacement" Conspiracy Theory, but replace the term "White" with "Han Chinese".

He complains about ethnic minorities in China "getting special privilages" (aka: "affirmative action") 🧐

So he dislikes CCP, not because of human rights violations against minorities... no no no, not that, but because CCP is "doing too much to help minorities" (in his view at least, whether or not the CCP actually help minorities in reality is a whole another thing)

He believes there's a secret plan by the CCP to replace China with African Migrants because of the population crisis... so he thinks the government just wanna fill up the loss of population with random foreigners...

And he calls black people "cockroaches" that "keep spreading too much" by "having too many kids"

But guess what: HE FUCKING COMPLAINS ABOUT TRUMP BEING RACIST AGAINST ASIANS 🤦‍♂️ fucking irony lmfao (he's a registered Democrat... I'm pretty sure... supports progressive polities when it comes to wealth, but opposes progressive social policies... so... a social conservative but fiscal liberal??? (is that even a term?)

Dude is so fucking lost into conspiracies, they make my parents look like saints. My parents used to be very prejudiced, but eventually come to be more accepting of multi-culturalism and the idea of living in diversity after spending so much time in the US. And now my mom has to be the one to shut down my brother's bullshit rhetoric he spews in the livingroom.

Oh, also kinda anti-vax about the Covid vaccine, but somehow okay with a tetnaus shot when he stepped on a nail.

And this is this is also the brother that abused me as a child... constantly fighting me... then want to play with me when bored and has no friends to talk to... then wanna fight me and discard me after he uses me.

Seriously idk why he even became a US Citizen...

The only reason he didn't vote for trump (or so he says, it's not like I know what he marked in his ballot) is because he isn't white, had he been born into a white family, he'd totally vote trump.

I'm so glad, I didn't end up being brainwashed by those insane beliefs, jesus fucking christ.

No idea where the fuck he got that shit from... so fucking vile...

But then again, he was abusing me when I was around 5 or 6... he used zipties to restrain me when he deemed me "annoying", played with fire at home, maybe his psycopathy is a gene, maybe a gene that luckily I didn't get? Random mutation?

Idk... my parents aren't even this vile in their worst moments, must be a random mutation. Or maybe its environment. Or maybe the internet's fault.

[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 33 points 4 days ago (8 children)

Every post you make makes me wonder how the fuck you're still alive, my man

The strong sperm won lol

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[–] ReiRose@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago

I had someone tell me on a first date that they've been in love with their younger sister since they were teenagers. There was no second date.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I once sat a bar, having a drunk chat with a guy, who went from your basic "you know what would fix the world? Fluffier dogs!" type talk into "you straight women have it easy, you never have to control yourself when there's some sexy 14 year old chick around".

I was far too drunk to give him the proper reaction, but I wasn't nearly too drunk to get the fuck out.

I find nothing more sus than a man who thinks a desire to commit statutory is normal.

I legit don't get it, why would you even want a sex partner who is underdeveloped and inexperienced even if there was nothing morally wrong with it? (Which there most DEFINITELY is something morally wrong with it)

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 24 points 4 days ago

I had a psychologist tell me at 13 that boys my age shouldn't be interested in sex.

[–] Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 4 days ago (6 children)

My mom suggesting that I take meth for a common cold because “the body would be sped up and burn the germs out” was pretty up there.

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[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I was watching Young Frankenstein with some friends in college in a secluded part of the student center and some rando came up to us and told us, in great detail, about how her cousin raped her repeatedly when they were younger.

Young Frankenstein was ruined for me and I still can't watch it a decade later.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"Ma'am, this is a Wendy's"

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago

"Stop thinking so much"

  • random professor walking by me
[–] rafoix@lemmy.zip 25 points 4 days ago

I worked with a guy that told me that he would start shooting Democratic politicians if his wife left him. He was a hardcore Republican Mormon from Orange County, CA.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (2 children)

When I was 16 my mom got drunk and told me that she was waiting until I graduated high school to leave my father. It's worth noting that I'm the oldest child, I'd been playing therapist for both parents since I was young, and somehow mom wasn't the parent that ruined that vacation.

One of the saddest aspects of my life is that she never got to actually leave (cancer diagnosis right before leaving)

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[–] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 23 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

"Abraham Lincoln was a fascist." when debating politics with a friend.

I didn't take the bait. I didn't delve into why he felt this way but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious, but I wasn't going down that road with him so he could justify his authoritarian views.

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