A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
Rules
This is a science community. We use the Dawkins definition of meme.
It's a trick. The jaguars killed Sebastián and used his phone to lure in more prey.
(Edit: As someone who's contacted experts for research to improve Wikipedia, they've all seemed really happy that someone was interested enough in their subject to ask. If you have a question you've tried and failed to find an answer for, the worst they can ever do is say "no" or not reply. Try it sometime!)
no
Shoot... now what?
Jaguars are the leading cause of male-pattern baldness.
I thought that was the opposite, you get the baldness first, then you buy a Jaaaaaaaag
Jaguars prefer bubblegum flavored toothpaste.
Big Jaguar has cornered the bubblegum toothpaste market, increasing male pattern baldness. OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE
Sebastián, I have one very pressing question. Are jaguar soft?
FTFH.
Pro tip: don’t waste people’s time by forcing them to respond before you ask your question. Be polite and pleasant, AND ask your question at the same time. It saves both them and you a lot of time.
although this is usually correct, here it is important for the joke that setup and punchline are seperated by anticipation.
First of its a joke with a set up and punchline. Secondly its a group chat as can be seen from the two hearts and group chats work differently.
Touch is a good option to distinguish between a jaguar and a shark in a dark room - jaguar is soft and shark is smooth. Easy. You'll never again confuse a jaguar with a shark.
Shark's only smooth from front to back. Otherwise shark's sandpaper.
Nope. Sharks are smooth as hell in all directions.
In general, the crowns of dermal denticles have cusps pointing tailward, which is why a shark feels relatively smooth if stroked from head-to-tail but sandpapery coarse if stroked the other way.
http://www.elasmo-research.org/education/white_shark/scales.htm
It’s telling me that shark skin is “smooth from all directions and at all times”
I remember when I went to an aquarium as a kid and touched the sting rays in the touch tank. That texture has stayed in my mind ever since. I still can't find anything it compares well to.
Next question, can I visit and experience the softness myself?
Right? Must pet spicy floof!
Can you imagine how it would feel if the Jaguar curled up in your lap and went to sleep?
I sure hope I can imagine it, because that's as close as I'll ever get XD
Why’d you remove your own upvote? You’re allowed to like the smell of your own.
It's a server setting. Their instance doesn't auto-upvote, and can't downvote.
Neat.
Pretty sure Sebastián would be happy to answer this question to non-journalists too
Non-journalists are soft too.
This is an abuse of power. But since you've crossed the line already, could you ask about axolotles? Do they look happy even when they are sad?
I recently learned that kangaroos are soft, which surprised me as I always imagined them like weird deer and deer are not soft. I feel like this needs to be a list I can look at somewhere.
Are you looking for the Animal Smoothness Scale?
I think they're looking for the Animal Softness scale
The two together form a two dimensional chart though
Stroked many a roo, wallaby and other macropods and they're not soft everywhere. More interesting is that there's no real give to their softness. They're solid muscle below the skin so you don't really want to poke them too hard. Does depend on the species too though - I ain't touching a red. A quokka and bettong are quite pliable and have that give when you stroke them, like a cat.
Domestic cat that is. When I stroked a cheetah it was all muscle and smooth but not soft, more like a deer
Why are there two reactions? Who else was let in on this critical information?
Sebastiàn liked his own message
As he should, it was a good message.
But are sharks smooth?
Depends which direction you pet them.
No
They can be if they are attracted to you.
They definitely are, regardless of the direction.
I wish I didn't know that. Now I really want to pet a jaguar.
I was 100% sure that would be the answer. Is there a feline that is rough?
Very soft