this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2026
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Science Memes

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[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I was 100% sure that would be the answer. Is there a feline that is rough?

I have one yes, very rough. Negative survival intincts. Got trapped once and didn't even try to get out.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 55 points 7 hours ago (8 children)

Sebastián, I have one very pressing question. Are jaguar soft?

FTFH.

Pro tip: don’t waste people’s time by forcing them to respond before you ask your question. Be polite and pleasant, AND ask your question at the same time. It saves both them and you a lot of time.

[–] jackr@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 7 hours ago

although this is usually correct, here it is important for the joke that setup and punchline are seperated by anticipation.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 21 points 6 hours ago

First of its a joke with a set up and punchline. Secondly its a group chat as can be seen from the two hearts and group chats work differently.

[–] ls64@lemmy.world 14 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 hours ago

This is an abuse of power. But since you've crossed the line already, could you ask about axolotles? Do they look happy even when they are sad?

[–] Klear@quokk.au 31 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (2 children)

Touch is a good option to distinguish between a jaguar and a shark in a dark room - jaguar is soft and shark is smooth. Easy. You'll never again confuse a jaguar with a shark.

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Shark's only smooth from front to back. Otherwise shark's sandpaper.

[–] Klear@quokk.au 9 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Nope. Sharks are smooth as hell in all directions.

[–] moody@lemmings.world 4 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

In general, the crowns of dermal denticles have cusps pointing tailward, which is why a shark feels relatively smooth if stroked from head-to-tail but sandpapery coarse if stroked the other way.

http://www.elasmo-research.org/education/white_shark/scales.htm

[–] Zorcron@piefed.zip 4 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

It’s telling me that shark skin is “smooth from all directions and at all times”

[–] moody@lemmings.world 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

Are you reading the same thing I'm reading? Literally every search result describes shark skin as dermal denticles, or sharp tooth-like scales aligned from front to back, "relatively smooth" in one direction, and sandpaper-like in the other.

Apparently other animals regularly get injured brushing up against them.

[–] SparroHawc@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Well, I'm touching a shark right now. Rubbing it every which way. No direction is off limits. It's smoother than the finest silks

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 1 points 3 hours ago

But other question, is shark wet?

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 4 points 5 hours ago

No, sharks are smooth all over.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (2 children)

I remember when I went to an aquarium as a kid and touched the sting rays in the touch tank. That texture has stayed in my mind ever since. I still can't find anything it compares well to.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 3 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

I still can't find anything it compares well to.

So ... what was it like ?

[–] Mantzy81@aussie.zone 5 points 5 hours ago

Like an eagle ray

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago

Well stingrays are closely related to sharks, and sharks are smooth so....

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[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 95 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (3 children)

It's a trick. The jaguars killed Sebastián and used his phone to lure in more prey.

(Edit: As someone who's contacted experts for research to improve Wikipedia, they've all seemed really happy that someone was interested enough in their subject to ask. If you have a question you've tried and failed to find an answer for, the worst they can ever do is say "no" or not reply. Try it sometime!)

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 32 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 51 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Chronographs@lemmy.zip 22 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 12 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 12 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Jaguars are the leading cause of male-pattern baldness.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 9 points 6 hours ago

I thought that was the opposite, you get the baldness first, then you buy a Jaaaaaaaag

[–] night_petal@piefed.social 8 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Jaguars prefer bubblegum flavored toothpaste.

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 6 points 7 hours ago

Big Jaguar has cornered the bubblegum toothpaste market, increasing male pattern baldness. OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 8 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

How long do I get to pet the Jaguar before it kills me?

[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 hours ago

Is it sleeping? Or awake?

[–] comfy@lemmy.ml 4 points 6 hours ago

Yep, I've also gotten responses pretty reliably from professional artists, including those I'd assumed would be far too busy to answer (including the directors and writers of famous tv shows).

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 10 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

I recently learned that kangaroos are soft, which surprised me as I always imagined them like weird deer and deer are not soft. I feel like this needs to be a list I can look at somewhere.

[–] Mantzy81@aussie.zone 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

Stroked many a roo, wallaby and other macropods and they're not soft everywhere. More interesting is that there's no real give to their softness. They're solid muscle below the skin so you don't really want to poke them too hard. Does depend on the species too though - I ain't touching a red. A quokka and bettong are quite pliable and have that give when you stroke them, like a cat.

Domestic cat that is. When I stroked a cheetah it was all muscle and smooth but not soft, more like a deer

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

smooth but not soft

Like a shark.

[–] comfy@lemmy.ml 6 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Are you looking for the Animal Smoothness Scale?

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 5 points 6 hours ago

I think they're looking for the Animal Softness scale

The two together form a two dimensional chart though

I wonder where humans lie on that scale. There's such a range between ages, hormone levels, and even seasons (my hands are normally soft, but dry winter air is currently interfering with that.)

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[–] davetortoise@reddthat.com 10 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Why are there two reactions? Who else was let in on this critical information?

[–] GandalftheBlack@feddit.org 13 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Sebastiàn liked his own message

[–] vodka@feddit.org 10 points 7 hours ago

As he should, it was a good message.

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[–] LeapSecond@lemmy.zip 19 points 9 hours ago

Pretty sure Sebastián would be happy to answer this question to non-journalists too

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 8 hours ago (6 children)
[–] village604@adultswim.fan 5 points 5 hours ago

They definitely are, regardless of the direction.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 3 points 5 hours ago

Only when they're trying to date you

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[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] shadowwwind@beehaw.org 21 points 10 hours ago (5 children)

Next question, can I visit and experience the softness myself? 

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 34 points 10 hours ago (2 children)
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[–] SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Right? Must pet spicy floof!

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