this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2026
420 points (99.5% liked)

196

5318 readers
2069 users here now

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
  • Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
  • Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
  • Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
  • No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
  • Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 15 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 151 points 11 hours ago (4 children)

I'm optimistic that kid grows into one of those beautiful healthy flowers that sprouts from cold hard concrete.

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

A tree grows in Brooklyn

[–] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 47 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Its an invaluable lesson that while adults know better than kids most of the time they don't always know best and the sooner thats learned the better

[–] SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

All too often "knowing what's best for them" is just a lie they tell to justify their authoritarian parenting. They don't care what's actually best for their kid, only what validates their own worldview and life choices.

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 41 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

I mean, kids are immature and need guidance, and parents often genuinely do need to take stances the child might dislike, due to having their interests in mind.

But good parents make that a conversation and don't parrot shitty lines like "I know what's best for you"

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

It's also important to bear in mind that at early ages, conversation doesn't really work. You still do it, because eventually it will sink in, but a certain amount of it is more for the parent than it is for a toddler.

My daughter is two and a half. She's better than I expected her to be about listening, but if she's already tantruming it's usually less distressing to her to just say no. Gives her less to fuss in response to.

When she's calm, depending on a number of factors we might be able to talk her through it. We always try. But we're also going to be talking her through it countless times until she gets it.

The scenario we're discussing involves a child old enough to start asking questions about people kissing. Of course dealing with a literal toddler would be different.

[–] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 14 points 9 hours ago

Ya most of the time that guidance should be - no, you cannot eat thirty five peeps for breakfast just because it’s Easter. And not - no you cannot kiss the person you love

Right on. More people need to learn the difference between authoritarian and authoritative.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 6 points 7 hours ago

That's just what theyre like before their environment drains them

That's worded beautifully.

[–] hayvan@piefed.world 85 points 11 hours ago

The mom had said "you can't kiss girls" before, implying the kid has asked before. I'm glad she got to witness a positive example.

[–] SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 45 points 11 hours ago

Setting a good example for the next generation

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

That poor little girl. I hope she is able to find her own path and not be held back by that family. I know almost exactly how that feels.

I mean, Katy Perry does specifically mention that she kissed a girl and she liked it…

Honestly though, it’s incredibly frustrating that so many close minded idiots have such a problem with what consenting adults do with each other - even things as tame as a small smooch in public.

Also, were I in that person’s shoes, I’d treat it as an opportunity to have a mildly lurid makeout session, just as a very un-subtle “fuck you” to the mom, and a teaching moment for the kid on how to treat bullies.