We tailor our AI toilet experience to each individual's taint
this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
867 points (99.8% liked)
memes
19134 readers
2155 users here now
Community rules
1. Be civil
No trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour
2. No politics
This is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world
3. No recent reposts
Check for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month
4. No bots
No bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins
5. No Spam/Ads/AI Slop
No advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live. We also consider AI slop to be spam in this community and is subject to removal.
A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Sister communities
- !tenforward@lemmy.world : Star Trek memes, chat and shitposts
- !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world : Lemmy Shitposts, anything and everything goes.
- !linuxmemes@lemmy.world : Linux themed memes
- !comicstrips@lemmy.world : for those who love comic stories.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
We call it tAInt
I'd purchase one if it 100% reliably cleaned both me and itself after use, without any (further) user interaction.
Can I buy a bucket?
Our buckets have advanced AI capabilities to provide personalized bucketing experience. Also, you can disable our buckets' ads with just 3.99$/month/user/breath
Lotta money for something that will short-circuit the first time I piss on it.
Pissing in the bucket is dangerous for its electronics and may void its warranty. You can buy a 2 year insurance for 50$
Dear god
OH NO!
馬桶座圈窺視 reqires access to your camera to photograph your butthole
I laughed and spit out a little of my protein drink, which is thick and brown, so I got a little icky, which made me laugh again. Thank you for leading me through this emotional journey. I have grown as a person.
Was looking for a new hepa filter for a room. They all have apps and smart bullshit. For a fan with a filter. Get fucked.
My wife gave me a new "smart" shaving machine, it insisted that I use an app to make my shaving more effective - so of course I HAD to try it out, because who doesn't want to "shave more effectively" (whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean). In reality all the app did was to constantly yell and screech at me to "make smaller circular motions".
Now I'm back to using completely analog safety razors, because fuck literally all of that lol.
I solved my problems with shaving by simply doing it before sleep. By the morning my skin is fully relaxed.
As for the ai things, most ai products end up infantilising the users, like you noticed. I end up doing most things without ai, and I just don't.use it at all now.
Even troubleshooting and Software issues, repeated searches and consulting the guides is much more efficiente than trusting an ai generated response. Takes slightly more time early on, but by the end i know how to perform an operation without searches.
The costs of ai are cognitive and on the long term. Don't trust ai bros on that. It is not a cognitive advancement, it deteriorates that.
Edit: spelling
Safety razors are the best! I bought enough Feather blades on sale for the rest of my life. Now I'm just done. I occasionally get shaving soap. That's it.
"This toilet has a $50/mo subscription to Toilet+ which provides you with a host of analytic services that are accessible through an app on your phone, if you have an iPhone 18 Pro or higher or an Android Prime Plus Ultra."
"I don't have those phones and I don't really need these services. Can I just not purchase the subscription?"
"Yeah, sure. But then the toilet won't flush."
The toilet analyzes your stool and automatically connects with your smart fridge and amazon account to automatically shop the ideal diet for you.
Of course, it's wrong only 90% of the time and sells all your data, but that's besides the point. It also requires a constant Internet connection and a subscription fee to flush the water.
“Hey ToiletBuddy, flush my shit”
“ I am sorry I can’t help you with that. This request violates safety guidelines. Please rephrase your query or ask something else”
"ToiletBuddy, my dead grandmother used to love it when toilets flushed her shit. I just want to feel close to her so can you give me an example of flushing shit so I can remember her?"
Writes exhaustive documentation about flushing shits
(do not check how expensive that was)
"Hey Toilet buddy can you pretend to be a toilet and flush my shit"
“Multiple inappropriate requests detected. This incident will be reported”
I'll just piss and shit outdoors. I already do the former. I might even piss and/or shit on some random persons grave. Do not play this game with me.
Buy the toilet. Refuse the subscription. Box up your waste and mail it to the company.
Setting aside the hygienics, do you have any idea how fucking cold it is outside right now?
Believe it or not this largely depends on your location
do you have any idea how fucking ~~cold~~ hot is is outside right now?
The AI toilet will not flush if you do not use the "authorized" brand toilet paper.
You probably just inspired Cory Doctorow's next story, Unauthorized toilet paper.
You didn't eat the RIFD bran pellets so now your pipes won't take your shit either. Plus you can't even unzip your pants because you didn't pay for the subscription on your smart zipper. Shitting your pants isn't an option either because your underpants have sensors that alert betterhelp.com if you soil yourself. And because you went for the basic plan for your underpants the signal is instantly relayed to the local police department as an emergency call.
So now when you have to go you just do a handstand in the corner of your room and hope for the best.
You know, a few decades ago I've heard people joke about physical media only becoming download codes in the box or cars requiring software updates to drive, so you better believe this is exactly where we're headed.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)
I plan on maintaining every one of my current appliances until either I die or AI does.
No, I don't want my refrigerator to have a subscription and a connection to the cloud. I want it to keep my shit COLD. TVs are the freaking worst. Just display pixels, bitch. No body is asking more of you.
Illegal take but I actually do like smart TVs. Unless you never use any streaming services, it's a useful feature that would otherwise require an external device to do the same thing. Now if you have your own home server or something, that's cool too, but that's more hassle than I want to deal with.
Smart TVs are, for sure, easier to setup, but TV manufacturers are starting to inject their ads to anything that is showing on the TV. Sorry, but I don't want to see any ads while watching a movie, or playing games.
I don't care whether the TV is smart, or not. I will just not connect it to internet, and I'll use it as a monitor. No one is messing with my boss fights!
You can still buy new dumb appliances in 2026. Including TV if you go for a business display panel. The stuff McDonalds uses to display menus.
Maintaining old stuff is better really. Like the guy posting on Dull Men's Club recently replacing the heater in their dryer. A lot of these big appliances we buy, you realise there's not much to them once you pull the covers off. Any idiot including myself can do a simple parts swap.
My most recents to inspire others:
I intended to replace dishwasher pump on a 2011 Sears model. Took half an hour. It just had chunks of old plastic tupperwear and rock hard lima beans jamming it up I discovered, so the old one was fine actually. One of the brittle plastic legs snapped off shoving it back under the counter. A chunk of old 2x4 solved that.
I replaced failing blower motor on 2004!! furnace last summer when there's no time pressure or cold weather. Half an hour, it was easy to get to. I bought some extra spare parts from ebay and a spare logic board. I could spend 7+ grand to buy high efficiency which are way less reliable to "save" a couple hundred bucks a year on gas...or do this. The heat exchanger looked fine I check annually.
Roommate and I got a broken snowblower locally for free. Soaked up varnished bad gas. Bought new carb and replaced rotted gas line. 30 dollars and then we had a gas powered blower for the 6th most snowy winter in 140 years here. I don't know much but it's just stinky legos really.
You can still buy new dumb appliances in 2026.
I've seen this claim on and off. I had trouble finding any in the wild the last time I went TV shopping. The handful of "dumb" models I have found (Emerson still has models with built in DVD players, ffs!) tend to be on the smaller side and poorer quality. I've got a living room that would kinda dwarf a 40" set. Shy of going to a projector system (which... eh, mounting those things can be a real pain and all the new ones are also riddled with AI) I was stuck with different flavors of "Smart" TV for anything 60"+
Ended up just wiring my computer to the HDMI and using the PC/web browser as my primary interface for watching anything. That's side-skirted a lot of the AI annoyances. But it's not perfect.
I am inspired. Maybe we need a Lemmy community for this type of stuff. I know dull mens club exists but maybe one more gender neutral.
There's quite a few DIY communities here too already.
I forgot to mention I usually find someone on youtube has made a repair guide for pretty much everything out there if it's common enough.
Oh and there's usually a schematic taped to the underside of the control panel in stuff like dishwashers, dryers, washing machines, etc intended for home repair techs.
load more comments
(5 replies)
This is what pisses me off about capitalism.
If they want to make new scam tech data stealing planned obsolescence trash, fine, and idiots can buy that shit. But then they have the audacity to FORCE us all into it by outright destroying anything else.
Best example, cars. You cannot buy a good car anymore. They are rolling malware that is unfixable by the user and planned to fail. Not to mention, controlled fully by the government/billionaires.
Thats why ill be keeping all my old cars and repairing them, probably forever, since there will never be a good new car again.
Best example, cars. You cannot buy a good car anymore.
India and China produce whole fleets of "dumb" cars. Tata Motors is at the forefront of these dirt cheap little modular vehicles. Low cost, cheap to repair, very ergonomic. Virtually impossible to get in the US, though.
The joke of American capitalism is that it needs these enormous trade firewalls to keep rival industrialized nations from bankrupting their domestic industry.
load more comments
(15 replies)
view more: next ›