this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Teach me (lemmy.world)
submitted 15 hours ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

GP1s. You eat a bit of shit. But not too much. Then you're like, huh I want some real food. And then you're done for the day. Two days later, you're like, poop please leave my body so I can eat a little bit more shit. Maybe you throw up a box of pop-tarts.

Then you notice the muscle loss and you're like, no more shit, only real food, and more workout. Real food is easier to eat because your sugar cravings decrease.

I grew up watching people shame spiral while ordering Ab-Rollers. It was not pretty. This isn't ideal but we have to acknowledge we're all addicts.

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 4 points 4 hours ago

Pull a Forest Gump and run across the US a few times. The violence coupled with lack of health care will surely lead to weight management.

[–] gray@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 hours ago

Anabolic steroids

[–] lIlIlIlIlIlIl@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Intermittent fasting means I eat like a fat piece of shit for hours a day and still can maintain or lose

Dr Fung’s book is where to get started

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Alter your perception. If the inability to walk up a flight of stairs and being a guy with bigger tits than his wife is perfect in your eyes then perfection is found by washing down a bag of chips with a milkshake

[–] BurgerBaron@piefed.social 2 points 3 hours ago

Until the pill bottles and chronic pain stacks up from being obese, then being proudly fat doesn't feel so good.

[–] Vespair@lemmy.zip 4 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

I'm willing to eat better, just don't make me exercise

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Ha, I'm the opposite. I'll run every day if I can eat oreos every night.

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

[–] gray@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 hours ago

Perfect body tbh

[–] Vespair@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 hours ago

By our powers combined....

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 6 points 9 hours ago

I'm willing to do both, just not consistently...

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 28 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

Swim.

Used to eat six meals a day and still struggled to put on weight when I was competitive.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Cross country skiing olympic trainers have to spend all of their free time eating calorie dense food.

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago

I believe it. Cold really changes things. Not only are you just burning more calories to stay warm, but I swear the cold fundamentally alters your metabolism when you're regularly exposed.

[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

Ear infections hurt though.

[–] BurgerBaron@piefed.social 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

I'm fairly immune to* those somehow, but pools are where I get infected by warts in my past. I got water shoes so it's my own fault for not wearing gloves I suppose. Not really the pool...change rooms 🤮

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 17 points 12 hours ago

Not gonna debate that. Had one andanytime I had water touch it, it felt like a screwdriver was being jammed into my ear.

[–] rainbowbunny@slrpnk.net 8 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

How common are they with swimming?

[–] hector@lemmy.today 6 points 7 hours ago

You get ear and eye infections from parasites I believe, often from waterfowl. So it depends on where and when.

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

Not very, but once you start getting them you can become more prone. Swelling from infection can alter your ear canal to making it more likely to trap water.

Some might tell you earplugs as a preventative, but they can cause problems of their own, especially if you take them out and put them back in during a session. Or if they get dirty.

Swim caps will keep most of the water from your ears, and if you've longer hair I'd suggest a cap regardless.

Really you should be fine so long as you're not sleeping with water in your ear. Especially if you're in a pool and not open water. They weren't common when I was swimming.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 2 points 10 hours ago

Depends on the person. I've had friends who get them all the time from basically any water. Meanwhile I can flop around in stillwater or death smelling run off and I've never gotten one

[–] Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 13 hours ago

But water cold brrrr

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 17 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Tape worms.

[–] Bullerfar@lemmy.world 5 points 12 hours ago

This ^^

[–] Voyajer@lemmy.world 15 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

oh, Oh, OH, OZEMPIC!

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 19 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

I believe you can't eat like a fat piece of shit on Ozempic.

[–] lohky@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

My MIL and SIL has proven that statement to be false.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 hours ago

That's crazy. I thought one of its effects was to make you feel full.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 10 hours ago

And if you manage to, you won't lose weight.

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 6 points 14 hours ago

~~Didn't work for Tracy Morgan~~

This was apparently a "joke" by the comedian.

[–] ButWhatDoesItAllMean@sh.itjust.works 14 points 15 hours ago

Auto parts!! Oh wait...

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

You can eat as shitty as you like, you just need to make sure you burn the calories.

You can spend an hour on a bike/running and burn getting close to a thousand calories. Lifting is more like half that, but has the benefit of increasing your metabolism over time

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 hours ago

No, an hour of bike riding is nowhere near 1000 jacks burned unless you are able to sustain a sprint for that whole time.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

You can spend an hour on a bike/running and burn getting close to a thousand calories.

mine says it's 500 cals. Which is basically a fancy sandwich

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 hours ago

my zwift rides average 800 cal/hr at the moment

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

If I run for a full hour it's about 800 calories, which gets me like six oreos and a glass of whole milk, which is all I want! Eat well all day, exercise, and snack at night. Just gotta run 8 miles.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

It takes a lot more exercize to burn food off than people think, especially to burn fat off.

Few will get enough exercize to make up for overeating junk food.

Learn to fill up on veggies, fruit, eat whole grains, unprocessed food, and moderate exercize is enough to stay moderately not a fat bastard.

[–] plyth@feddit.org 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

It takes a lot more exercize to burn food off than people think, especially to burn fat off.

It's not necessarily the intensity but the duration. The exercise must be long enough that fat is metabolized.

Depending on several factors, there can be a 10–20 min period of time after the onset of exercise until fat metabolism can catch up with carbohydrate metabolism.

https://pressbooks.calstate.edu/nutritionandfitness/chapter/8-5-exercise-intensity-and-fuel-use/

[–] hector@lemmy.today 2 points 4 hours ago

Interesting. As an aside I read that running a marathon would burn about a pound of fat.

[–] Squirrelsdrivemenuts@lemmy.world 12 points 10 hours ago

The phrase "you can't outrun a bad diet" exists for a reason. If you are not already doing lots of sports your body simply cannot handle the 1-2 hours if intense activity every day to burn off that caramel latte and bag of chips. Then, when you do get to the level where you can do lots of sports, you will notice a bad diet impacts your progress and recovery and you are stuck eating a lot, but mostly healthy food.

[–] MBM@lemmings.world 2 points 8 hours ago

That staves away the fatness but you can still get terrible skin etc.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 12 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Step 1: define perfect

Step 2: start Carcinisation

[–] Davel23@fedia.io 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Well, I'm halfway there.

[–] Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 5 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Which half

[–] Davel23@fedia.io 1 points 3 hours ago

My body is mayyyybe not quite entirely perfect.

[–] Bullerfar@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Wegovy and run 10km+ every day.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 3 points 10 hours ago

It only reduces your appetite, doesn't make you lose weight if you eat as described in the meme.