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Microblog Memes
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
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On Lemmy, men only use doors. Anything but windows, right gang?
And then there are crazied dikes that get offended if u open doors
nice try clanker, an AI generated face won't fool me

Man here. I haven't opened a door since 2005. When my wife isn't with me I just stand outside trying to hide my tears until a woman comes along to let me in.
We do, just not for you, AND ONLY YOU, sweetie. ;)
Surely if you are near a door and someone wants to come through you open and hold it for them regardless of sex?
And as they pass through you say 'Age before beauty.'
I ONLY hold it if there's sex.
Gender is irrelevant.
If it's a man coming, I purposefully and with force, slam it shut and block it with my body.
If you just stand there, waiting for another man to ~~cum~~ come , that makes you gay.
Stick it in the letter slot and I'll help you out.
Thats what I do. Hilarious if just so many people pour into the building and im stuck there for 5 minutes until some other poor schmuck takes my place.
I just hold it long enough for them to not have to open it again, but I let it go once they are in range to hold it themselves.
Been my experience with random people for like a decade or more. The only people I've run into who seemed to care was this elderly couple in Alabama (I was visiting, live in GA) where the wife always waited for her husband to open doors, and my sister-in-law who has my brother open doors for her.
She also chastised me for not walking over to my mom's door and opening it for her when we were all eating out once, to my mother's confusion because she's used to opening her own doors.
I used to work in a brew pub. I had a woman once criticize me for not going out of my way to get the door for her. I was behind the bar, so that would have required me walking like 20' away and then 30' back to front to get to her.
She let herself in then called me out for not opening the door for her. I responded with "I needed to make sure you werent a vampire, since they can't enter uninvited!"
She grimaced and one of the regulars chimed in "youre wrong, shes definitely a harpy, not a vampire!"
And she stormed out.
So much for gender equality amiright? I bet she'd get all uppity if you told her to make you a sandwich, too.
I really don't understand people who want that. It's so infantilizing to have someone else do basic shit for you, especially if you need to wait for it. It crosses a line from basic politeness to learned helplessness and is often a motivation for weaponized incompetence, so I also don't understand the people who do those things for a partner that demands it. It would be an instant loss of interest for me.
One time, I arrived at a small store as an employee was finishing their smoke break, exchanged friendly words as we both went towards the door. In that moment, I realized that if I open the door, it'll be right in his way and I paused, unsure about how to handle it. He ended up opening it for me, but the whole thing felt awkward as fuck, like my pause was because I was waiting for him to open it for me. Easily the worst door opening experience I've ever had. I'm a dude btw.
This feels so familiar, I think I've done exactly that in the past.

r/KenM was such a solid subreddit back in the day. Top tier comedy. Now it’s just fake profiles and bots that use the name for clicks.
I wasn't familiar, so I had a poke around the internet and found some lists of his work. Bloody hilarious.
"If there was gravity in space the planets would fall down." :D
"Mountains get so big because they have no natural predators."
I don't know that the real Ken M is active anymore. But yeah, the imitators have never gotten his tone right.
Man woman child Martian I will open the door for you if I’m in a position to do so but I ain’t waiting with the door open for 30 seconds while you take your time
I know I do; because I refuse to use windows.
Badum tss. (Yes, I use arch btw.)
Also yes, men do. Like me personally, I will hold open doors for other men even. And I’ve had doors opened for me too. These tradwife women high-key rude as fuck for never opening doors for people.
I do, but I always hate when there are two doors and then they feel obligated to do the double thank you. It's like bless yous with sneezes, three sneeze should only get you one bless you, two doors, one thank you.
I’m Canadian. We say sorry to strangers for small inconveniences that we are actively angry about. Like a double door “who opened it first and who holds what door” situation. You don’t realize how weird it is until you go to other countries and people laugh at you for apologizing in stupid situations.
Looking at the image another question immediately arises: Do non-AI generated women still exist?
It is vitally important that everyone learn AI skills so they can generate open doors for AI women
I was born on the east coast of Canada. Everyone gets the door held for them, sometimes even when they're on the other side of the parking lot.
Judging whether a person is sufficiently distant for it to be acceptable not to hold the door is a classic Eastern Canadian trial.
This trick is closing a door silently. I learned to do that when my kids were small.