this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2026
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Been my experience with random people for like a decade or more. The only people I've run into who seemed to care was this elderly couple in Alabama (I was visiting, live in GA) where the wife always waited for her husband to open doors, and my sister-in-law who has my brother open doors for her.
She also chastised me for not walking over to my mom's door and opening it for her when we were all eating out once, to my mother's confusion because she's used to opening her own doors.
I used to work in a brew pub. I had a woman once criticize me for not going out of my way to get the door for her. I was behind the bar, so that would have required me walking like 20' away and then 30' back to front to get to her.
She let herself in then called me out for not opening the door for her. I responded with "I needed to make sure you werent a vampire, since they can't enter uninvited!"
She grimaced and one of the regulars chimed in "youre wrong, shes definitely a harpy, not a vampire!"
And she stormed out.
So much for gender equality amiright? I bet she'd get all uppity if you told her to make you a sandwich, too.
I really don't understand people who want that. It's so infantilizing to have someone else do basic shit for you, especially if you need to wait for it. It crosses a line from basic politeness to learned helplessness and is often a motivation for weaponized incompetence, so I also don't understand the people who do those things for a partner that demands it. It would be an instant loss of interest for me.
It's often an enforcement of gender roles, but you also see issues the reverse way for helplessness and incompetence: old men who do not know how to cook or handle any household chores because their wives always did it for them.
I had a roommate like that. He was divorced and seemed to be proud of the fact that he didn't know how to cook.
Gender roles are just another artificial barrier that helps to rob your life of joy and meaning.