this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2025
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Movies & TV

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Here's a list of tons of leftist movies.

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[–] BigWeed@hexbear.net 8 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I love these movies, the stupider the better. In one (Roped?), the hunk guy races the old boyfriend but instead of a ford f150, he brought a horse! He of course wins and the now ex boyfriend disappears from the plot entirely. Peak cinema. If you know some more, drop em, I'll watch em.

[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 58 minutes ago)

I love the Christmas Princess movies because instead of making up a tiny european country like Lichtenstein or San Marino, they invent an alternative history with a Holy Roman Empire sized monstrosity called Aldovia arising from the Balkans and heading North, along with a giant Baltic/Belarusian/other countries kingdom and a Chinese kingdom in the caucuses.

Edit: all of Eurasian history would be different! From the Mongols to the reformation to WW2!

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

so what happens after christmas?

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 6 points 6 hours ago

Wleft After Christmas

[–] dead@hexbear.net 16 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Hallmark releases a new Christmas movie each day of December before Christmas. They already announced that they have 24 new Christmas movies made that they are going to air this year. There's hundreds of these movies.

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 8 points 6 hours ago

wow fuck all that

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 13 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

I don't understand these. Who are they for? The only people who seem to watch them are youtubers writing video essays about how nonsensical and vaguely fascist they are.

[–] SevenSkalls@hexbear.net 10 points 5 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 5 points 45 minutes ago

Mine too -_-"

At least it gets her away from the Cold War spy slop she likes to watch. But yeah, Hallmark movies are to moms as isekai harem slop is to sons. Except I don't watch isekai harem slop.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I googled. I did not put "holiday" into my google search but google gave me holiday results anyway. I scanned page after page and the "why" was pretty fucking thin. Articles made tautologies. People like happy stories! People like escapism! People love Christmas! Basically - people like the movies because they like them! One guy simply asked his friends who like Hallimark movies. That was very lazy but that was the best answer I got.

A mashup off the net vvv

The Hallmark Channel’s target audience is women between ages 18 to 34, though Zammarelli says the average age of viewers lands in the late-40s to early 50s. He adds that people watch these movies because they love love — no matter how unrealistic the depiction. The films also allow for escapism as people take an hour and a half away from the busy and stressful holiday season.

I absolutely love Hallmark movies because they're aspirational (who doesn't want to believe that, after everything goes wrong for the lead characters, it's possible for everything to work out perfectly for them!?), they're immersive, they're comfy and safe but still exciting to watch, they're filmed in gorgeous locations, and they're familiar but still interesting.

The reasoning behind Hallmark’s fanatical devotion to the holidays is simple: their Christmas movies typically cost less than 800,000 dollars to make, and each movie’s entire production cycle usually only takes around three months. Not only are Hallmark movies quick and cheap to make, but they are also extremely profitable and are practically guaranteed to rack up millions of views.

According to a press release, the Hallmark Channel ended 2020 as the most-watched entertainment cable network in the fourth quarter of the year and ranked second for the whole year.

“I don’t think they’re actually ‘good’ by regular movie or story standards, but they’re fun enough to watch that it doesn’t really matter,” Khado Tsephel ’23 said. “The plots are pretty simple and entertaining, plus they have a nostalgic feel that makes them fun to watch.”

In another comment I said that Hallmark-type movies are basically the movie version of a soap opera. I'm tooting my own horn but I like my answer best - so far.

---

Rant

The first result I got was a Reddit thread - yay. But then I saw this - boo!...

According to Grok:

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 1 points 2 hours ago

Good investigation, even if it was "lazy" it was still more effort than I put in. I suppose it makes sense they have a niche, cheap movies with a generic "feel good" sort of vibe are probably popular with a particular sort of person who hates being challenged. Plus they are probably a very non-controversial choice for a movie to watch during the holidays, which is why they have so many christmas movies I guess.

[–] OshaqHennessey@midwest.social 14 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 1 points 44 minutes ago
[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 28 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Dear CHUDs.

This is what “based anti-woke” media looks like. Go watch your chudslop Hallmark garbage and shut the fuck up.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

But it's boring and terrible! I want good media without any of the politics or empathy or any of the other stuff that makes media actually good! frothingfash

[–] BeanisBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 6 hours ago

I assume at least some of them actually like this crap, because it keeps getting made.

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 21 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Hallmark style movies are always uncanny as hell. They always look super fake.

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 3 points 37 minutes ago

If Hallmark wanted to do something really funny, they'd air one of these movies as normal, only to have it transform into Lovecraftian horror as the film descends into madness. What looks like filming/continuity mistakes are actually deliberate as they begin to happen more and more frequently. The characters (typical Hallmark Channel characters) begin to realize Christmas isn't coming as reality becomes unstable. Soon they find themselves shopping for the coming apocalypse. A shadow descends upon the town, a God older than time itself, now awake to punish them for their worship of false idols.

The screen fades to black as the screaming starts, then the Hallmark Channel goes off the air permanently after thanking its viewers for being part of the experiment. Re-runs of Looney Toons begins to play 24/7, 365 with no commercial breaks the following day starting at 5 AM.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 19 points 9 hours ago

Many years ago I watched a couple. After I watched the first one and it was awful - I thought I'd try just one more time. The movies are basically a hour(s) long version of a soap opera. They don't just feel cheap - everything is wonky or barely serviceable: the plot, the story arcs, the direction, the actors, the photography, the music, even details like the set design. It's uncanny. It's as if there's a rule that nobody is allowed to do a good job.

"Mike! What are we gonna do! They'll think we [killed that guy / ruined Thanksgiving / forgot grammy's birthday / lost the ancient amulet]!"

"I got a plan, Jessica."

"No, you don't!"

"Yes, I do!"

"No, you don't! What is it?!"

"Hold on. I'm thinking..."

[Cue another cheesy flashback with even worse lame jokes.]

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 24 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 22 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

They all kinda are, aren't they?

[–] mickey@hexbear.net 10 points 8 hours ago

Allow me to "yes, and" you here and say that their occasional inclusion of gay couples, ethnic minority couples, and interracial couples only serve to reinforce the hegemonic whiteness and heteronormative patriarchal narratives.

[–] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 11 points 8 hours ago

obligatory citations-needed relevant episode

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 25 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Twas the white before Christmas and all through the house, not a cracker was stirring not even a mouse.

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 21 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

TwaSS the ₩hit€ before KKKhriSStmaSS and a££ through the houSSe, not a KKKracKKKer ₩aSS SStirring, not even a mouSSe.

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 13 points 9 hours ago

Stirring mousse, you say?

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 22 points 10 hours ago

Hallmark execs had a meeting.

Exec 1: "It's too soon."

Exec 2:"Are ya sure?"

Exec 1: "Yeah. Next year maybe. Probably?"

Dejectedly - Exec 2 puts the draft of his 14 words movie into the trash.

[–] regul@hexbear.net 2 points 6 hours ago

Is that Logan from Gilmore Girls?

[–] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 8 points 9 hours ago