this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2025
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[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 72 points 2 months ago (3 children)

If they can’t sell fountain drinks because they don’t have water they shouldn’t be open at all because they also don’t have water in their hand wash sinks.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"washen yer hands make you gay. Jesus dint wash no hands, only feet an that's kinda based."

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 months ago

But... but... what about profits?

How can you forget profits?

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Just don't flush the toilet and it's a reusable hand wash station.

[–] AntiBullyRanger@ani.social 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Southern? This reads like someone who doesn't know English was forced to write this.
Southern would be more like:

Aotta wate. No soda. Boss forgo o pay wate comp..

Nah. This a native speaker for sure. Just one who's also barely literate.

[–] Sludgeyy@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can tell it's not southern because they say soft drinks instead of coke.

"Dew ta nawt havin' wader we can't sail ya coke"

[–] wolfpack86@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Depends where in the south. Eastern North Carolina would commonly say soft drinks. And confusing sale and sell is common as in spoken dialect it is a homophone. But not sail.

But anyway, this says soda drinks. Not sure who would call it that.

[–] Neverclear@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 2 months ago

Y'all acting like the South can afford to print shit.

[–] Lembot_0005@lemy.lol 16 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Ok, can you translate it to standard English if "it makes sense" to you?

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hark! The crystal clear liquid of life flows not for us, thus we cannot grant you the fountain drinks that you desire.

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

Verily, that is a vexing conundrum.

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

spoilerDue to not having water, we can't sell any soft drinks

[–] Lembot_0005@lemy.lol 6 points 2 months ago
[–] Bhaelfur@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

"Due to not having water we can't sell any Soda Drinks

Sorry MGT"

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I say you they ain't not got no water so them soda dranks is out. Mmhmm

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The "Sorry MGT" at the bottom is probably the saddest bit on this little condemnation on public education

[–] darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

It wasn't an apology so much as it was a description

See also: "We ain't got no soda right now cause the city done put us under a boil order. Somethin' about a broke water main."

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not to bad in a boston accent either.

[–] PumpkinEscobar@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Or scottish

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago

Probably just ran out of post mix and blamed water to avoid seeming incompetent

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 2 months ago

You didn't specify which South.

[–] Safeguard@beehaw.org 2 points 2 months ago

MEGA: Make Education Great Again.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Is suppose there's a small chance that it's a joke.