this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2025
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I'm going to a cabaret show tonight and I wanted to get in costume. I tried to make some fake cigarettes but now I'm worried I'll these will make me look like a perverted vampire. What's the consensus team?

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[–] Drusas@fedia.io 181 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I'm guessing you've never seen a used tampon because that is not what they look like.

[–] woop_woop@lemmy.world 67 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Mmmm....I'm pretty sure one gently dabs the end of a tampon to soak up a drop of blood at a time. That's why women use so many, right?

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 month ago

/NASA scientist, nodding.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Those would be ultra super lights.. about 15 minutes of use.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

True. But OP hasn't seen a burning cigarette either.

[–] 30p87@feddit.org 7 points 1 month ago

(Which is good!)

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Wrapped in toilet paper after use, kinda. Women always try to hide the good treats in paper, but my dog’s superior nose and teeth overcome such paltry obstacles to absolutely fucking destroy my rugs and sanity, and equally harm their own digestive tract.

[–] Greg@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

lol, the reason I'm asking Lemmy isn't because I haven't seen either of these things, it's to gauge how others might interpret it.

[–] meep_launcher@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I'd say they're fine, but if you have some yellow dye it could give a more orange color that I associate with cigs.

Unless you expect yellow lighting then you are genius.

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 59 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Greg@lemmy.ca 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 month ago

this is legit my worst nightmare

[–] mvirts@lemmy.world 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

... I don't think anyone could mistake these for used tampons.

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 14 points 1 month ago

Maybe if they think you shove tampons up your urethra.... and are of poor eyesight.

[–] lazycouchpotato@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago
[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Definitely should have colored an orange filter and left it at that. If you wanted the extra the other end could be dipped in gray and speckled with red

[–] fishos@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

This one. When not being actively puffed, the ember disappears into the ash.

[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ehhhh they’ll pass but I’d have used orange.

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Mottled with gray

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

~~Blunts~~ joints dipped in ketchup.

[–] FreeAZ@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Blunts aren't white, joints are.

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago
[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

There once was a vampire named Mabel
Whose periods were really quite stable
And every full moon
She would get a spoon
And drink herself under the table

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Too different a form factor to ever think they might be tampons to me

...I don't mean to be rude but like have you seen a tampon before?

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago

Don't be shy. Go as a perverted vampire with real tampons and fake blood. Own it.

[–] Salvo@aussie.zone 10 points 1 month ago

A gold or yellow wash should salvage them.

A mottled tan “filter” at the other end will also make them more cigarette-like.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're fine, used tampons look more like filleted slugs.

To make them more like cigarettes you could use a bit of cocoa or food grade activated charcoal for ash, or just burn the ends with a lighter. Bright yellow or orange sprinkles could be embers. Wrap brown paper around the other end for the filter.

To make them more like tampons, use them to skewer marshmallows, lightly roast over a flame until marshmallows melt together and turn yellowish with a few bubbles, then slather in cranberry sauce.

[–] tamal3@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Slugs don't have red blood, or if they do it's not much

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[–] Beebabe@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Absolutely nothing like a used tampon.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I like that these candy sticks commonly used to be sold as candy cigarettes, only for people to be outraged and so the companies changed them to generic "sticks," just for you to go and dip the tip in red (they used to do the same, add more yellow to your red) reinventing candy cigarettes.

Ceci n'est pas une cigarette.

Edit: Hey they still make them!

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well. Damn. I've got two of those packs in my curio cabinet, thought they were modern remakes. Nope. They clearly say "candy", "cigarette" isn't on the package and there are no red tips.

Think how hilariously awful it was that we kids used to "smoke" those things! Fuck it, eating one of my packs now.

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[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 7 points 1 month ago

Fake cigarettes.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I mean if you're worried about it you can buy a ceramic one-hitter that looks close enough to a cigarette at 20 feet from any head shop for like $5.

[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

They look like cigarettes to me.

[–] salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 month ago

I agree with others, much too red

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I am so confused.

If you had not dipped these in ... food coloring, for some reason...?

... they, on their own, look fairly close to well rolled rollies.

A rollie is when you are broke and addicted to cigs, so you buy rolling papers and loose tobacco, and just roll up your own little cig, no filter.

... I... guess they kind of look like some kinds of onehitters I've seen? Early, silly e-cigs that were made to look like actual cigs?

Either way, I have no idea how these could be confused with tampons, they're waay too small.

Also... cabaret? A vampire?

What do these intrinsically even have to do with cigarettes, or smoking?

... Are you stuffing them into like a 1920's style stem type cigarette holder thing?

Are you going as a suffragette? A debutante?

[–] pedz@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I had those when I was a kid a few decades ago and they had the tip coloured in red. They were designed to look like fake cigarette, but in candy form, for kids. However because of anti tobacco movements, they renamed them to "candy sticks" and removed the red tip.

I think OP is trying to recreate the old ones.

EDIT:

[–] moody@lemmings.world 2 points 1 month ago

If you had not dipped these in … food coloring, for some reason…?

You rub the end on the red packaging to make the tip red. At least that's how we did it when I was a kid, long after they stopped calling them candy cigarettes, but we knew what they were.

[–] Chais@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago
[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

They need a filter and some orange in the red to look like a ciggy over a tampon. Embers aren't that red.

a little orange would make them more like cigarettes, just saying

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Looks like red chalk wrapped in paper. I remember having those in school around the end of the previous millenium - The paper prevents your fingers from being stained.

[–] fonix232@fedia.io 2 points 1 month ago

They look like badly rolled cigarettes that someone mistook for tampons for a moment, and tried to insert them all, but just the tip

[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Try an orange or a softer, warmer red for the lit end and an orangey/tan/yellow for the filter. They do resemble hand rolled cigs, but the red looks more like sauce than fire which kind of throws it off

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[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 2 points 1 month ago

Real cigarettes

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