askchapo

i did a quick glance at the data once and i think it's just to co-opt the broader loneliness epidemic (which exists and from what i saw is basically gender neutral) in a way that stokes misogyny rather than pointing people at the correct target (late capitalism hollowing out our social spaces and communal bonds).

there's nuances beyond that in terms of how it probably does impact different genders differently (through the lens of patriarchal conditioning hurting everyone, but not at all evenly in terms of degree) but i think that core co-optation truly is the gist of it.

Problems are only problems when they affect men.

To quote possibly the moist poignant thing family guy has ever said "Oh Louis, fat men aren't fat, only fat women are fat."

The lonely young men are becoming nazis and shooting up the nearest Walmart, while women by and large are not.

On one hand, you’ve got the people who want to frame loneliness purely as a crisis for men out of male bias or misogyny. On the other hand, you’ve got feminists who are heavily invested in the idea of the girl group, intrinsic feminine solidarity. Which leaves women suffering from loneliness ignored as they don’t fit into either side’s narrative.

Society has latched onto the incel idea that women can have any man they want/never be lonely if they chose to because all men want to fuck them 24/7.

Women tend to have stronger social networks outside of their relationships, a lot of men basically just have their GF and maybe one guy they get beers with every 3 months.

because they cope with it worse and there's no group solidarity or support structures that minoritized people built for themselves (out of necessity)

In Australia women are lonlier than men but you never hear about it because we don't murder people https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/measuring-what-matters/measuring-what-matters-themes-and-indicators/cohesive/social-connections

Sucks massively, yet more sidelining of women because women are expected to solve their own problems and men are trained to have their problems solved for them.

You can link female loneliness to things like TERFs, but male loneliness is empowered by the patriarchy. I can't think of any misandrist mass shooters while misogynistic ones are routine. That's where I think the epidemic is. It's driving a broader societal collapse while female incels are still as marginalised as any other bloc of women.

I don't think it's at all wrong to highlight this as a problem area (though certainly no gender identity has a monopoly on loneliness, which is a global human problem - just different expressions of it), unfortunately young men (in north america at least) who are forming social bonds with other men are doing so mostly in the worst online spaces imaginable on a diet of shooters, sports betting and pr0n with zero IRL community engagement or involvement. until or unless there's a major prevailing counter-force soon the "epidemic" is not going to improve.

There is absolutely a female loneliness epidemic, but it tends to come from the most silenced of the demographics, childless lower/middle income single women who are over thirty. There are few representations of these women in media, and basically none that are positive, with the most common representation of them is stories about them 'finding love', thus removing themselves from the demographic.

However, they are, in general, not a threat to others so very few people will actually take the time or money to look into this particular phenomena.

cuz "The Side Effects of Patriarchy Floundering Under Late Stage Capitalism" is too long

There was talk about a loneliness epidemic for a decade, but when it got reframed as the MALE loneliness epidemic, is when it grew in popularity as a concept.

Toxic masculinity. Women have more friends on average and talk about their feelings. Men don't get help when they need it because they hide and overcompensate.

I think about this once in a while because, well it's not getting any better, and the framing seems to stick. The patriarchal subtext that women need to lower their standards and subjugate themselves is pretty obvious. But I also think there is the corollary message to men that they don't need to self reflect or evolve in their attitudes.

I mean that beyond the level of a sexist society upholding male privileges, I think it cements the idea that men and especially younger guys are just a certain fixed way. And it serves as a framing that front-runs even having to ask questions like how did these men learn these behaviors and attitudes, how should they think and act, how could they become more chill and fun people to be around. Not just for romantic partners but for male and female friendships generally.

And I don't mean to be overly male focused because I certainly agree with posters saying that this affects everyone and is a general issue of being disconnected beyond just not having romantic partners.

This is how I feel the media has reported this over the years: Males suicide rates are higher, males shooting/murdering people is higher. Men are having sex less. Women are getting pregnant less or at older ages or not getting married. It is implied, therefore that men doing these things because they are lonely and it's all women's fault.

Then they get shocked that tate etc are popular

Just a made up "epidemic" by the incels