this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2025
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You can link female loneliness to things like TERFs, but male loneliness is empowered by the patriarchy. I can't think of any misandrist mass shooters while misogynistic ones are routine. That's where I think the epidemic is. It's driving a broader societal collapse while female incels are still as marginalised as any other bloc of women.
But can you though? It's just bigotry combined with an understanding of feminism that says that patriarchy is eternal and all you can do is protect yourself to survive in it.
Any reactionary movement is going to reinforce the patriarchy ultimately. When it comes to the reactionary "feminist" ones, it's the same pathology driving fragile masculinity. I'm obligated to accept the ideal for what a man should be and then compete for that with every other man I meet. Any deviation from being a lumberjack is losing points in a game I'll never win, and even those lumberjacks fight for masculine purity. For a movement like TERFs or trad wives, they're making a strict sociocultural ideal for femininity and trying to peacock to other women who meet it less than them as much as they are men. That comes from a really similar place of insecurity which we recognise as broader alienation. The pathology is universal and important to examine as the Pewdiepipeline driving any of these movements, it just isn't empowered for anyone that white cishet men see as a second-class citizen. When TERFs were rallying around that swimmer who got 5th place the most common response was asking if they could even name who got 3rd/2nd/1st.