Ask Lemmy

If you made it clear you do not like new things I don't know why your spouse thought this would be different. And then on top of it to need to leave the house to cool off (which that itself is fine, but feeling so strongly about it isn't imo) something feels off.

If I knew my partner didn't like new stuff, and I got her new stuff anyway, I wouldn't take it personally and get very upset about it. Did you talk to your spouse about it yet? Clearly there's a disconnect somewhere but you did nothing wrong by saying you want to return it. Hell, it's not like you returned it already and used that money to buy something else. Or pretended to like it but return it in secret. You're being very open and honest and communicative about your feelings which is good.

Idk, feels like a pretty big overreaction on your spouses part that warrants a conversation.

Down vote me if ya want but I very much feel OP. I always will take an older model or refurnished over some new, overly priced gizmo. I understand that the new thing is maybe an improvement but the capitalist churn of new devices every other week makes me sick. "What's wrong with older devices?", is my shtick. A computer from 2011 will run fine without a copious amount of bloat publishers push. I had a very thoughtful mother in law who fixed my screen on my computer instead of buying me a new laptop. My ex husband on the other hand always wanted the trendiest item Instagram was selling and would request his mom get it for him, we were poor (who would've guess two kids in their 20s were working on our finances). I'm still actively playing my original Xbox One from 16ish years ago, and my console still loads faster than my friends' newer consoles.

I thought this community was a half sarcastic knockoff of the reddit equivalent sub, didn't actually expect to see a serious post lol.

EDIT: For your own sanity, please take the advice here with a grain of salt

I could see you not reacting well to the gift and them being upset, but then it turned into something more than that. They made the mistake of doing something that you claim is well known you don't like. You held your line and rather than let it sit for a bit insisted it had to go. Now you're both mad/upset over a gift. Doesn't make sense, does it? Even more so if the value of this object isn't that much even new. Who is hurt more by this? You're confused about their reaction but were you hurt by the act of giving, even if it was something unwanted? The core thing you should ask yourself is why it became an argument, and was it worth it? It doesn't even matter who was right.

Gifts don't have to be something you like, want, or need. It's about the thought, care, and love that goes into them. Whether you like new things or old things, it doesn't matter. Gifts have subtext. Your SO probably will equate your love for the gift with your love for them. Use them both. Love them both. Love the people who gave you both.

Just say thank you for the gift and move on. It has always been comical how much angst happens over gifts…

Making an issue about a gift is stupid.

This story is specifically non-gendered but people keep assuming that OP is male and partner is female.

Is the gift so expensive that you feel it necessary to reclaim the money? Would it feel as though something was missing if they hadn't got you anything? It seems like the more appropriate choice in this situation might have been to accept the gift generously and simply not used it, or not used it often and continued to use the older item. Then, if asked about it, perhaps explained it at that point instead of making a point of explaining that you wanted to return the item and get the money for it.