Hell, the only time I ever got called out for parking in the Purple Heart spot at the Home Depot, I flashed my gallbladder surgery scars, told them they were from my tour in Iraq and they saluted me and thanked me for my service
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Thank you for your surgery 
bit idea:
same deal, but instead flash the inquisitor your genitals and say you got scabies while stationed in San Diego.
"I got my dick blown off by a land mine in Thailand! Look at what the surgeons had to do to me! LOOK AT IT!"
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
This is a copypasta isn't it? Or have I just been on the site long enough to read this story twice...
It's a true story with some details excluded to protect the innocent
I've posted about it a couple of times
The what?!! LMFAO!
That's amazing! If they pressed you could follow up with yelling at them for reminding you and you were having a good day till some dip shit civilian asked you about the worst day of your life.
Thank you for your service.

I've just got a "war on terror" cap that i've had for years to get vet discounts. Also have a "golf war" one if i want to push things lmao.
I swear man those golf games were brutal, I once took 40 attempts to put the ball into the hole
"golf war"


ah fuck im actually old enough for this lol, I'm always worried they'll follow up with questions like "which regiment/tour" and I don't know anything and I don't want a lecture about the troops while im buying 400lb jars of nutella and IDK if I should lie about having a veteran husband or
Lol, the veteran husband thing can get some people to go ballistic, don't do that!
Make up an obscure job/unit of a large branch that sounds like something contractors would have likely taken over. Like computer repair and e-waste recycling. Say it's defunct because of said contractors and they just moved you around to wherever they needed a warm body in an admin office. "I was a unit orphan, it sucked and it was a waste of my time. At least I got the GI bill".
Sparky in the USACE, stationed in Frankfurt. Gets them every time.
Why not just say coast guard, doubt anyone cares what the coast guard does
That's fine too, just know where the boot camp is and pick a base. If someone starts yapping about boot camp, just say you're more focused on what you do now.

