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I've got the credentials to back it up, but it's an extremely rare day I've ever been asked for ID. If they ask, just say you don't have it. It's that easy, get 10% off! Heck, there's a restaurant that I like that does 25%!!
This veterans day, take some valor for yourself! You're a class war veteran!!! 
Hell, the only time I ever got called out for parking in the Purple Heart spot at the Home Depot, I flashed my gallbladder surgery scars, told them they were from my tour in Iraq and they saluted me and thanked me for my service
Thank you for your surgery
bit idea:
same deal, but instead flash the inquisitor your genitals and say you got scabies while stationed in San Diego.
"I got my dick blown off by a land mine in Thailand! Look at what the surgeons had to do to me! LOOK AT IT!"
"when i came back from Luang Prabang I didn't have a thing where my balls used to hang"
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
This is a copypasta isn't it? Or have I just been on the site long enough to read this story twice...
It's a true story with some details excluded to protect the innocent
I've posted about it a couple of times
The what?!! LMFAO!
That's amazing! If they pressed you could follow up with yelling at them for reminding you and you were having a good day till some dip shit civilian asked you about the worst day of your life.
Thank you for your service.