Unlimited budget? My tactical umbrella is capable of generating 5MW of electricity from cold nuclear fusion.
this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2025
103 points (96.4% liked)
Asklemmy
51225 readers
181 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
Then you will need a secondary umbrella for primary, watsr and electricity go boom boom together
Thankfully, being shaped like an umbrella, the design already accounts for this by directing rain away from the power output located at the base of the handle. It's Type C!
With my unlimited budget, I have also funded research to increase the official USB-C PD spec to a frankly irresponsible five megawatts of energy throughput.
The clearance you need for 1 Megavolt means that you need something like 45ft between your terminals to avoid arcing. I suggest a slightly higher than 5A limit on your new USB spec
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(8 replies)
Serves as a shield against small calibre bullets. Is able to accurately fire sniper rounds
Kingsman enjoyer?
I mean I was basically gonna comment the Kingsman umbrella lol. It just makes sense. They got guns, bulletproof, video screens, they're strong as hell, and don't they have swords in them too?
1
Tactical hand-free design is essential.
2
The top part detaches and is a drone.
Never folds the wrong way or moves unpredictably during strong winds.
Let's air pass through, but only one-way? Could potentially use it to Mary Poppins out of a situation
Iβd put the unlimited budget to work miniaturizing a drone fleet powerful enough to maintain position / reliably follow the user thru storm winds that hold a large umbrella-style cover over you.
I never use umbrellas cuz I feel like theyβre annoying to carry and you still get wet, but if it just reliably kept me dry with no extra work on my part Iβd be more interested.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Thermal mask against FPV drones.
And a cool sword, that'd be sick.
To fight off said drones, no doubt
It's absolutely bananas that this would come up now, because I'm almost finished designing one in FreeCAD lol. Is it in the zeitgeist right now or something? Is it because the most recent No Kings had a yellow umbrella theme?
Mind you, I'm very untalented at CAD, just doing it for funsies and to learn the Assembly workbench. I will upload it to ManyFold when it's done and tested though if anyone's interested.
I'm hoping it'll be sturdy enough to survive blunt impacts, and able to slow down some weaker munitions, but it's gonna be on the heavy side. Expecting it to cost roughly $100 worth of parts. You could definitely build it WAY cheaper but I'm going all high quality.
load more comments
(2 replies)
If you did it today, it wouldn't be the first. Here are some:
- The Unbreakable Umbrella is the first one I can recall hearing of. It's heavy (775g) and made of a composite material the manufacturer claims is good for hitting people.
- The Streetwise Stunbrella conceals an electroshock weapon inside an umbrella.
- Security Umbrella is another umbrella marketed as suitable for hitting people.
- "Bulgarian umbrellas" are poison pellet guns built into umbrellas, intended for murder.
- Windlass Steelcrafts sells an umbrella which conceals a rapier. There appear to be several similar products from other companies.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Found OP
Its a Mary Poppins umbrella that floats you gently to the ground. And a laser shoots from the top.
Wouldn't you want the lasers to shoot from the sides? How likely is there to be an enemy above you as you float to the ground?
load more comments
(1 replies)
Integrated fleshlight in the handle. Screen on the underside of the umbrella for videos. Bullet resistant outer shell that expands into a small tent.
Pump action umbrella
You got me back with the tent
It has a stash of termites inside that can be injected into wooden structures for very slow infiltration of wooden doors and structures.
Your enemies wont know what hit them.
It's just an RV. A regular RV. No bells or whistles. Just an RV. It has a toolbox.
Pretty much everything from Johnny English
Shield from rain
keeps rain off my head
Reflective inner surface that can double as a solar cooker.
That could be quite handy in a survival sitation, along with another posters suggestion that it can double as a tent in a pinch
Found the middle management testing out their interview question about creativity.
It's a smart umbrella with A.I. features that will advice you on when to open your umbrella. If you find yourself in a situation where you encounter rain, and you type in "It's raining" on the touch-handle screen, the umbrella will either tell you to open the umbrella or not open the umbrella depending on what input you give it.
Somehow rain never hits you from the side even when it's windy or your running really fast.
I'm gonna stuff that unlimited budget between the fabric layers of mine and take it home with me.
Cover the entire thing in Molle
It has a detachable canopy that can stabilize and move on its own for 5-6 seconds
load more comments
(1 replies)
it works in the wind
A hidden button pops out saw teeth at the edges and starts the whole thing spinning. I will wade through this storm, of my own creation.
load more comments
(1 replies)
weather forecast
i'd probably just copy the penguin
Has solar panels and a USB c charging outlet
view more: next βΊ