A Boring Dystopia

He was circling on the bike taunting them, saying stuff like "I'm not an American citizen," and the ICE dudes just tolerated it until the bike rider dropped his phone, and detected weakness and pounced, before the guy snatched up his phone and managed to ride away.

Tragicomedy is the best description.

Apparently he had hurt their feelings by shouting "Fuck ICE" at them before this Benny Hill/Keystone Cops routine started.

https://www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/blog/supreme-courts-decision-racial-profiling-immigration-raids/

“Hey he looks Hispanic, nab him.”

that one

They might have ordered food, and thought they wouldn't have to pay the tip if they trafficked him.

Nah, if this was GTA, more agents would have spawned in front of him just off camera, and plowed into him with their cruisers.

GTA’s crazy cops were started because of a coding bug. The game devs wanted cops to navigate to the player then brake, before hopping out of their cruiser to arrest you. The astute programmer has probably already seen the error here… The cops navigated to the player and didn’t start braking until after they plowed into you at full speed. Then once you were laid out on the ground, the cops would hop out of their cruisers to bust you. The devs forgot to add any kind of “brake before reaching the player” distance to the player’s location, so the cops would just run you down at full speed. But during play testing, the devs discovered that the players thought it was a lot of fun, constantly dodging the wildly homicidal cops. So they left it in, and GTA was born.

Apparently he said something like "fuck Trump", and they got big mad.

Okay. So we're at Slave Catchers stage of repeating the run-up to the Civil War.

Apparently I was too focused on Trans issues, that I missed this escalation.

"Papiere, bitte"

As someone who loves linguistics, you're just saying that it starts good and then continues good. :-D

Sounds like someone turned into an illegal Mexican