this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2025
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me_irl

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 41 points 2 days ago (3 children)

When I see a dog I say "Woof!"

When I see a cat I say "Meow!"

When I see a cow I say "Moo!"

When I see a human, I say "That's my purse! I don't know you!" and kick them in the groin.

[–] zedgeist@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

That Kolanaki ain't right.

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

When I see a horse I say moo because neigh is stupid and I figure they're probably bilingual

[–] s@piefed.world 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

An effective way of deterring humans is in fact to flatly say “Hello human” to them

[–] YoSoySnekBoi@kbin.earth 6 points 2 days ago

Aight ima start doing this, wish me luck

[–] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago

Tbf, saying "hello human" would be even weirder

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

When friends see Elon Musk they quickly wave, then quickly stop, mid-wave.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

When I see a pig I say "ACAB, jackass!"

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I thought about commenting, but then I was worried we'd make small talk

Err, I meant to say- same

[–] NorthWestWind@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Hello world

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Makes sense. Humans are the most dangerous species on the planet.

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I avoid eye contact, but wish they would talk to me. it's tiring being alone with no one to ramble on or respond to my rambling.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

Practice quick, brief eye contact and a smile with strangers.

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

When I see a velociraptor I say "Clever girl."

To be fair the other 4 are very unlikely to try and talk to you

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 3 points 2 days ago

If you were a cat, seeing another cat would be a similar calculation, involving the politics of territory

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago

Is it maybe because you definitely know the dog, cat and chicken aren't going to talk to you?