El Chisme

schizandra

congrats to brace for his first child

Schizandra

Cracker-assed sounding name, what in the fuck are you doing to that child? White people shouldn't be allowed to name their babies themselves. Got to run that shit by the committee first.

wild how this country has such a thing as Child Protective Services but it's literally just for poor people and black people when someone thinks they don't deserve to raise kids.

Speed runners have hit the gout community

schizandra kinda gives it away

Sure, get that baby started on lifelong heart problems, assuming they don't just end up dying from eating raw liver and egg. I don't understand where these sorts of fads come from. Is there really much money in convincing people that cooking food, something we've been doing so long our biology has literally evolved to prefer it, is somehow actually bad for us and raw food, meat in particular, is good?

These people are so far removed from any sort of consequence of their actions that it sickens me, a shame they're torturing a baby instead of causing themselves to suffer.

this is my son Schizoaffectivedisorder he only eats offal and organ meats

Huh, it's a real article. I feel bad for the baby who is probably going to have all kinds of health problems. The parents should probably be fed to livestock though.

RIP this infant. They absolutely do not have the immune system for this kind of thing.

at that point why not just get a dog instead

Prehistoric man, while butchering a mammoth carcass as big as a truck, would still be thinking about meat less than these people.

CW child abuse tbh

This has to be ai, right? That name? The weird shininess of the baby?

Gout speed run any%

That kids got visible meat sweats.

Writing fake articles with the intention of people believing they're real (no humour argument for the content) should be an imprisonable offence.

unfortunately an actual fucking article (paywalled on wsj's site, full article for free here): https://archive.is/E35FY

schizandra is apparently a berry but like.... come on

baby shit can already be fairly radioactive to the nose, but I don't even want to know what unholy boom boom baby makes with pureed sardines and eggs.

It's on the internet in 2025 which means it's probably fake

Look at that baby, it already has the meat sweats. Dear God I hope they are monitoring that kids vitamin K and B levels.

To be fair literal dirt tastes better than most commercial baby food BUT its pretty funny that they apparently didn't even offer normal fruits and veggies before insisting their kid would've chosen sardines and livers over, like, bananas.

Queneville

So she was cursed with a stupid name and had to one-up her own daughter? Ma'am you can just go and call yourself Emma or Sophia or whatever

Baby needs ~~a new pair of shoes~~ meat

Thanks, I wasn't feeling nauseous enough 🤢

This is the freedom liberals espouse.

They named their kid Schizandra??? holy shit poor kid

preparing the children to cannibalize climate refugees

Like the polar opposite of those freaks who try to make their baby vegan. Folks, we need B12 but we also need a lot of other things too