this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2025
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El Chisme

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This movie is going to suck so much ass lol

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[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 58 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"I wanted to tell a story about fascism"

Ok so then adapt Orwell's life, not this drivel, it'll have more impact

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 41 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You'd think they would make a biopic about Orwell, but that would mean painting the POUM and the Spanish Republicans in a positive light. So instead it's made up stories about made up people doing made up shit so liberals can inform their worldview.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 48 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Communism doesn't work because of a story i made up. Checkmate, everybody smuglord

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 38 points 5 days ago

George Orwell solidarity Ayn Rand

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 4 points 4 days ago

Communism doesn't work because Marx never considered movies.

[–] Carl@hexbear.net 57 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

and shares a filming update for The Lord of the Rings: The Hunt for Gollum.

this is the most doomer thing in the article for me. Please just let LOTR die.

I think this is the place to start. Have a piglet who understands that they are sort of more intelligent to a certain extent, but actually, all his best friends, i.e., Boxer and all of the other animals, make him connect with them, be best friends, and not see differences between them.” So, that was the point.

So Andy completely buys into Orwell's elitist vision of the world. That's just great. Luckily the movie is going to bomb because only weirdos like us are paying attention to it.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 27 points 5 days ago (3 children)

The hunt for gollum source material wise is super super straightforward. They find him and the Aragon has to drag him all around kingdom come while he's super not cooperative. It would make for such a bad movie. I should personally be given the film rights to lotr and the budgets. My Children of Hurin trilogy would blow everyone away

[–] Frivolous_Beatnik@hexbear.net 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Children of Hurin trilogy

That'd be a depressing watch... get to work on it already!

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Honestly I think i could do it with a pretty small budget considering the scope. So still like half a billion cause giant movie trilogies are expensive but that's half a billion for 3 movies. One advantage of the story is you can reuse a lot of sets. I've got a different visual idea for stuff than Jackson but id be an absolute stickler for not doing any production techniques that weren't used in fellowship aside from that fucking cave troll. Glaarung absolutely must be mostly animatronic. My vision style wise is half way between Jodorwoski and Jim Henson with a bit of Terry Gilliam's dirty as hell midevsl look from holy frail and jabbwerwocky but played more straight. Also, no fucking plate armor, Tolkien would be so fucking mad a out that cause its a post Norman conquest thing. I guess The Northman would be a solid stylistic jumping off point as well. My ideas for adapting Tolkien are artsy as fuck, id rather get the vibe across than anything.

My Beren and Luthien adaption is closer to The Leigh of Lethian, basically a film opera.

[–] anaesidemus@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

just let me see Nargothrond in its glory

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 5 points 4 days ago

Getting that right would be probably the one of the biggest expenses. The story doesn't really let you get away with a really kickass model shot and then only interiors. Full scale street facades as well as probably entire actual buildings would need to be done. Then you also have to destroy it later. When I fantasize about making movies I fantasize mid budget.

Also for location, not new Zealand. I wanna see snow. Beleriand was to the northwest of lotr middle earth and I think shooting somewhere in north eastern ish Europe would be ideal. This means it would end out shot in Vancouver but I know spots there that could make do, probably need to haul in some fake snow. I picture Children of Hurin to be a generally cold and wet vibe.

[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

My Children of Hurin

Not that any of the adaptions they're making are going to be good, but my understanding they are basically only allowed to adapt whats in the original Trilogy (Including appendices) and the Hobbit. So that's why there's a dogshit Rings of Power amazon show and the Hunt for Gollum.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago

I'll do it anyway

I wondered why the Rings of Power had lore totally scrambled like if someone mixed the pages, so that's why. But they still had to take basically entire lore from outside LotR and Hobbit anyway.

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Starring Nick Nolte as Aragorn Son of Arathorn and Eddie Murphy as Gollum?

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Neither of those characters will be born for a few thousand years. Nick Nolte can voice Glaarung and Eddie Murphy can play Beleg. This isn't a black people can't play elves thing its an Eddie Murphy probably can't elf thing. It could work in a comedic take but he'd be redoing donkey from Shrek.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago (2 children)

The Lord of the Rings: The Hunt for Gollum.

How many fucking LOTR movies have there already been?

The Lord of the Rings 57: The Franchise That Cannot Die! (2075)

Roman numerals would be visually better. But I think they'd weaken the joke. After 39 I start forgetting what's what.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

LOTR XXXX: THE LEGEND OF BOMBADIL'S GOLD

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

You have been permabanned "forever"? (I can't read Elvish) from r/LOTR for "greivious misuse of Roman numerals".

[–] kickit@hexbear.net 9 points 5 days ago

Gregg Turkington's "one hundred Silmarillion movies" prediction is coming true

[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 44 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I'd love to adapt 1984 extremely faithfully but secretly adhering to that theory that 1984 has a biased narrator, and that Oceania is actually a quite effective and benevolent socialist state especially when given the context of a recent devastating nuclear war and an ongoing three way cold-war that Oceania cannot win outright. Show Winston as the petty misogynist with SA fantasies he is in the book. Show the peaceful and comfortable living conditions of the proletariat. Make the fanatical party members cool and given them amazing uniforms like a reverse empire from Star Wars, that tricks nerds into thinking state socialism is cool.

[–] WittyProfileName2@hexbear.net 16 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

The whole thing with the telescreens being secret cameras monitored by humans 24/7 could be reframed as Winston's paranoia. Same with every child being a communist spy.

How I'd adapt it is, I'd keep it the same except change it so that at the end, he escapes Oceania and defects to one of the other nations. Give the reveal that his account has been some sorta yeonmi-park style propaganda piece.

[–] CascadeOfLight@hexbear.net 3 points 4 days ago

The camera pans out from the end of him giving his account as a guest on a talk show, revealing it was playing on a tv in a shop window that some grubby urchins are watching through the glass

One of them turns to the others and says "gee, life might suck here, but thank god we don't live over there!"

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 40 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

"Fascism is when the government does stuff. The government doing stuff is communism. So fascism is communism. I am very intelligent."

  • Andy Serkis, probably
[–] WittyProfileName2@hexbear.net 23 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I want to just point out how far America has fallen. I'm American and I'm embarrassed. Back in the day, the CIA, I read, were the first people to finance a version of Animal Farm, and now you think about our government, and they wouldn't in a million years want people thinking like this. It's crazy.

i-love-not-thinking

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 16 points 4 days ago

Anyways, here's this really expensive movie based on that book.

[–] iie@hexbear.net 25 points 5 days ago

Odd coincidence that this shit comes out right as millions of libs are taking to the streets, an experience that may radicalize some of them

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 28 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 29 points 5 days ago (3 children)
[–] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 14 points 5 days ago

Your flakes have been bongled.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 13 points 5 days ago

dammit, i thought i was clever

[–] SamotsvetyVIA@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago

i beat you all back when this movie was first announced >:)

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 27 points 5 days ago

Serkis Act :kelly:

[–] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 20 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Because Gilroy chose to focus on writing future episodes and rarely came to set, Luna served as his consigliere. In addition to advising on casting and production and art design, he addressed actors’ questions about the writer’s motivations for a character and asked for certain scenes to be shot again to align more with Gilroy’s vision. When deciding whether to give actor Muhannad Ben Amor, who plays young rebel Wilmon Paak, a bigger role, Gilroy looked to Luna. “I go to Diego, ‘Man, tell me, what do you think? Let’s talk to this kid — can we really get this second season out of him?’ Those kinds of things are invaluable.” (When asked about shouldering so much responsibility, Luna laughs: “I slept much better than Tony over those years.”)

huh dunno why I posted this unrelated extract about Diego Luna. Anyway how come Serkis wasn't in Andor season 2? his character's death may have been implied but starwars characters have survived far worse odds and Andy's performance in season 1 got a lot of buzz...

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago

Andy's performance probably worked because Kino actually believed that he could fairly be released if he worked hard enough in the empire's prison lol

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 21 points 5 days ago
[–] Chana@hexbear.net 17 points 5 days ago

An actor has a bad opinion?

But how!?

[–] CredibleBattery@hexbear.net 17 points 5 days ago

goat status: washed

Both pieces of media are easily digestible libertarian propaganda. Anticommunist takes on Andor are more common than the people calling it Marxist would think

[–] MF_COOM@hexbear.net 15 points 5 days ago
[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 13 points 5 days ago

Boxer will be played by Chris Pratt. He's so cool! mario