Worst part about support groups is that often everyone else ends up getting better except me, then they move on
this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
57 points (100.0% liked)
disabled
196 readers
18 users here now
Welcome to c/disabled, an anticapitalist community for disabled people/people with disability(s).
What is disability justice? Disability justice is a framework of activism which centers disabled people of multiple intersections. Before participating in in this community, please read the Ten Principles of Disability Justice.
Do I count as disabled/a person with disability(s)? "Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Follow the Rules:
- This comm is open to everyone. However, the megathread is only open to people who self-identify as disabled/a person with disability(s). We center the experiences of disabled people here, and if you are abled we ask that you please respect that.
- Follow the principles of disability justice, as outlined in the link above.
- Zero tolerance for ableism. That includes lateral ableism. Ableism will result in a ban.
- No COVID minimization.
- Do not offer unsoliticed health advice. We do not want to hear about the wonders of exercise or meditation, thank you very much. Additionally, do not moralize health or "healthy choices".
- If posting an image, please write an image description for our blind/low vision comrades. (If doing this is inaccessible to you, DM one of the mods and we will help.)
- Please CW and spoiler tag discussions of ableism.
- When it comes to identify-first vs person-first language, respect the language that people choose for themselves. If someone wants to be referred to as a disabled person, respect that. If someone wants to be referred to as a person with a disability, respect that.
- Try to avoid using ableist language. It is always good to be mindful of the way language has been used to oppress and harm people.
- Follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct.
Let's kick back and have fun!
founded 7 months ago
MODERATORS
You're the cure. Holy shit.
Cause boys don't cry
booooys don't cry
I finally fell asleep about two hours after I wrote the last post. While they were fighting I was on my phone scrolling (and posting) wondering if I should intervene. Anyway things cleared up. I got my sleep. I read about Chinese history and boned up on anatomy (hehehe).
My screaming neighbour got interrupted by another neighbour who started slamming om her door screaming at her. Violence has been threatened, stuff has been thrown in both directions.
I am not equipped for this.
Hi everyone, I'm Onandrah
I'm a proud trans woman and disabled refugee currently living in a settlement camp in . I fled Uganda after the passing of the anti-gay bill..it became too dangerous for someone like me to live freely and safely. Now, I'm doing my best to survive and hold on to hope even in very difficult conditions.
I also live with HIV, which adds another layer to my daily struggles especially with limited access to healthcare and support. Being in a space like this, where we can speak openly and support one another, means a lot.
Sometimes life feels like too much, but I'm still here. And if you’re still here too, I want you to know you’re not alone. I see you. I’m rooting for all of us.
Sending love and strength from Gorom Camp in South Sudan. Onandrah
My heart goes out to you, love, and I thank you for your words of hope and kindness 
I hope you can get to a safe place with better healthcare soon, so you don't have to live in fear. Take good care of yourself and never hesitate to contact us here in the mega or via private messages.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It really means a lot to be seen, especially in such hard times. I’m doing my best to survive here in the camp as a trans refugee with limited access to healthcare. If you know of any groups or people who support cases like mine, I’d be deeply grateful to connect. Thank you again for being here.
Hi Onandrah, we're rooting for you too! Thank you for your kind words. Sending peace and solidarity your way, comrade. Stay safe, and know you are loved and you are beautiful.
Thank you for your kind and supportive words. Being a trans refugee is very hard....every day is a struggle for safety and basic needs. Your solidarity means the world to me and gives me strength to keep going.
Stay safe, and thank you for standing with me meanwhile how is it going??...
Hoping you can find peace in the future, comrade, and that you can get the care and necessities you need. It's goin alright on my end, I appreciate you asking. Mostly job hunting and hanging out here on hexbear these days when IRL stuff is quiet. How are you doing this week?
I forgot to eat all day so now I'm hungry but it's too late to eat. This is a conundrum. I should eat smarter
I'm gonna have some crackers. Sadly no hummus since no food processor, sad times.
So relatable, hope you get some good sleep...oh no just saw your other post. Hope everything settled down ok
I'm tired
I've started falling asleep in the afternoons again, which I hate. I feel horrid and groggy. I don't know what's started it again, whether it's an issue with my thyroxine or poor sleep. It's awful being tired all the time, and people are like "What have you got to be tired about?"
"What have you got to be tired about?"
"well for one i have to field a lot of tiresome questions"
Maybe I'll try that next time.
Yeah same here, afternoons have become the worst. The "what have you got to be tired about" is so gross, too. We could just gesture broadly at the stress of everything as a reason without even going into the actual disabilities that aren't always visible. Wishing you some good rest soon, comrade.
Thanks, you too.
Me too. I'll have a nap for the both of us, you should be feeling more awake soon 
May your dreams be peaceful and your rest rejuvenating
And yours too love
Was helping my sibling out yesterday with some health insurance stuff, their treatment had been stalled so needed to see their primary care provider but the mf was in a different system all together. Navigating the insurance site to change it was a nightmare so I was coaching them what to say on the phone and I think we got a doctor that exists. Beforehand I was just calling up clinics to confirm if these doctors even were real and it was a pain... pretty sure the insurance site was just using ai to scrape local doctors around here not really checking to see if they were real and that rightly pisses me off. At least the lady on the phone was way more helpful
Health bureaucracy is so fucked up. I don't even know how they get so fucked up or get the idea to use AI for a database like that.
It's just my guess because holy shit some of the doctors made up names were like 
Sleve Mcdichael and Todd Bonzalez?
I talked to a tamil person in the healthcare industry once who told me she shortens her name for white people because they can't pronounce her actual name, and once she had to get a nametag and it just arbitrarily cut off half her name. Like her name on the tag just ended in the middle of the name.
Shit was like Dr Mating, Narwhals I think that for real was take
They say youth is wasted on the young. Well, I say health is wasted on the healthy. All these people with able bodies and good health, ruining it with junk food or other habits, sitting indoors doomscrolling all day when they could be outside doing activities. I wish to be able bodied again. I want to hike for miles along the coast instead of sitting around frustrated.
Couldn't agree more. 
I've been focused on my health lately, and I just got out of the hospital (maintenance, not emergency). Even if I don't improve my condition I've at least been improving my reaction to it and stress from it, blahblahblah. That said, I'm basically under house arrest since I'm so goddamn fatigued, and I may have a long trial-and-error period with new medications coming up. I know I'm doing what's best for both my physical and my mental health but it's a major bummer to not be able to be involved in any organizing at a time like this. I hope that I can achieve some sort of stability soon and can pick things back up, even if it's not on the front lines. @Frank@hexbear.net had a great comment here a while back that I'm trying to keep in mind:
Whenever folks express dismay that they can't do cool activism stuff on the front lines i try to remind them that an army marches on it's stomach and there's lots of logistics things that need to be done that don't involve marches and protest camps. Handling phones, making food, taking care of kids, coordinating intelligence, teaching classes and sharing expert knowledge. Many people can fight for a cause in ways that go beyonf the highly visible stereotypes of what protesting looks like but our society makes people think they're useless if they can't play tennis with tear gas cannisters.
Med students are having chatgpt do their ethics exams. I don't have a comment. Just a statement.
what do you call someone who cheated their way to a pass at med school?
doctor
Inside me there are two wolves. One wants a nap, the other one has drunk so much garbage my blood type is caffeine.
hands you a glass of water You know... For diluting the caffeine
Sweet, I can put caffeine tablets in that! No but actually I had some water and crashed, I slept for like 10 hours which isn't really a nap.
Sounds like you really needed the sleep though, so I'm glad the water helped.
Also, please don't put caffeine tablets in your water, it's not good for you
what are support systems, what is identity, mention of suicide
I would (half-jokingly) be interested in a case study about friendship and support systems and what kinds of correlations there are and what factors contribute to a support system forming.
I think my brain is a little cooked in that I really don't see a way to meet new people and make friends, at least in my current ways of approaching things. I have a strong tendency to show up to things, look around, and if someone doesn't talk to me or something doesn't catch my interest, I end up leaving, because I just feel weird standing there thinking to myself, "should I talk to someone, who should I talk to, how do I decide" Like showing up to things by myself feels useless, I'm completely on rails.
I have yet to get to a Pride event this year. I consistently have conflicts or am burnt out. But that's I guess my only chance to meet people remotely like me. Hell, I'd be posting this in the trans comm, but posting there really spikes my rejection sensitivity. I don't have the energy to do that to myself or ruin the community for other queers.
It's especially tough because I came out to my pre-COVID friends online and they liked the post and went on with life. Selfishly, I thought at least one person might want to reconnect, or at least say "so that's where you've been!"
I thought about killing myself. I felt like I was already dead. It's not like anyone was reaching out to me anyway.
And now, if I say anything, I'm bringing up old shit. I'm being dramatic.
I don't know what I consider a support system, but off the cuff, I'd say I don't really have one. I have my family, who I can talk to sometimes. But nobody is experiencing this in real time with me. Nobody checks in on me, nobody reaches out if I go quiet.
Maybe deleting my old account was a form of self-rejection. But also, nobody in the trans mega cared when I did post. People invalidated my feelings at times. People gatekept. I felt like I had to prove that I was dysphoric in order to be accepted. That made me more dysphoric.
I just want to find a space where my gender is actively being affirmed, not just "oh I accept you regardless" but like actually having girly conversations and doing girly things. And calling each other girly nicknames, and doing our hair and makeup and going shopping. Or something.
I want to start by saying I'm glad you're here with us, and I hope I don't come across as disingenuous when I say that. I am autistic, and I struggle with communication so please feel free to tell me to eff off or disengage if at any point my words make you uncomfortable, unaccepted, or invalidated in any way.
words
I can sympathize with the feelings of isolation with no real support, and the anxiety in social situations. Wish I had a formula I could share to make it easier, but if I'm honest I'm still trying to figure all that out myself. I hope you know it's not selfish to want people to care, or notice when you're struggling and need help. The reality is that you deserve a safe space to be your unique and beautiful self and have that celebrated and openly accepted by those around you. It'll look different for everyone, but I think support can come in all shapes and flavors. The hard part is finding it and recognizing it. Hopefully we can give you a little bit of that here.
I can't speak on the dysphoria personally, but please know you don't have to prove anything. I am sorry things have been so difficult, and I genuinely wish that things get better soon. You've shared a lot and that's not always an easy thing to do. You're appreciated. Sending hugs if wanted.
i do not like that unemployment has become a meme thing to make fun of people for lately 
I want to think that it’s children doing this and they are yet to discover the truth about jobs.
My alternative is usually “go outside”. despite porky’s wishes, I don’t need to be a nepo baby to go outside just yet.
ya, "go outside" or "log off" are the same kinda idea but without punching down at ppl. but ppl like punching down at ppl so ig i shouldn't be surprised.
It sucks to see people 'punching down' like that, even in memes
load more comments
(3 replies)
Might be a bit redundant, but, as we head into the weekend again I want you all to remember that you matter, you are loved, and you belong! Thank you for being such an awesome community and always lovin on one another; it's lovely to witness. Ya'll inspire this awkward gremlin on the other side of the screen. 
load more comments
(2 replies)
view more: next ›