My screaming neighbour got interrupted by another neighbour who started slamming om her door screaming at her. Violence has been threatened, stuff has been thrown in both directions.
I am not equipped for this.
this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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disabled
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Hi everyone, I'm Onandrah
I'm a proud trans woman and disabled refugee currently living in a settlement camp in . I fled Uganda after the passing of the anti-gay bill..it became too dangerous for someone like me to live freely and safely. Now, I'm doing my best to survive and hold on to hope even in very difficult conditions.
I also live with HIV, which adds another layer to my daily struggles especially with limited access to healthcare and support. Being in a space like this, where we can speak openly and support one another, means a lot.
Sometimes life feels like too much, but I'm still here. And if you’re still here too, I want you to know you’re not alone. I see you. I’m rooting for all of us.
Sending love and strength from Gorom Camp in South Sudan. Onandrah
Hi Onandrah, we're rooting for you too! Thank you for your kind words. Sending peace and solidarity your way, comrade. Stay safe, and know you are loved and you are beautiful.
I forgot to eat all day so now I'm hungry but it's too late to eat. This is a conundrum. I should eat smarter
I'm gonna have some crackers. Sadly no hummus since no food processor, sad times.
So relatable, hope you get some good sleep...oh no just saw your other post. Hope everything settled down ok
I'm tired
I've started falling asleep in the afternoons again, which I hate. I feel horrid and groggy. I don't know what's started it again, whether it's an issue with my thyroxine or poor sleep. It's awful being tired all the time, and people are like "What have you got to be tired about?"
"What have you got to be tired about?"
"well for one i have to field a lot of tiresome questions"
Yeah same here, afternoons have become the worst. The "what have you got to be tired about" is so gross, too. We could just gesture broadly at the stress of everything as a reason without even going into the actual disabilities that aren't always visible. Wishing you some good rest soon, comrade.
Thanks, you too.
Me too. I'll have a nap for the both of us, you should be feeling more awake soon 
May your dreams be peaceful and your rest rejuvenating
And yours too love
Was helping my sibling out yesterday with some health insurance stuff, their treatment had been stalled so needed to see their primary care provider but the mf was in a different system all together. Navigating the insurance site to change it was a nightmare so I was coaching them what to say on the phone and I think we got a doctor that exists. Beforehand I was just calling up clinics to confirm if these doctors even were real and it was a pain... pretty sure the insurance site was just using ai to scrape local doctors around here not really checking to see if they were real and that rightly pisses me off. At least the lady on the phone was way more helpful
Health bureaucracy is so fucked up. I don't even know how they get so fucked up or get the idea to use AI for a database like that.
It's just my guess because holy shit some of the doctors made up names were like 
Sleve Mcdichael and Todd Bonzalez?
I talked to a tamil person in the healthcare industry once who told me she shortens her name for white people because they can't pronounce her actual name, and once she had to get a nametag and it just arbitrarily cut off half her name. Like her name on the tag just ended in the middle of the name.
Shit was like Dr Mating, Narwhals I think that for real was take
They say youth is wasted on the young. Well, I say health is wasted on the healthy. All these people with able bodies and good health, ruining it with junk food or other habits, sitting indoors doomscrolling all day when they could be outside doing activities. I wish to be able bodied again. I want to hike for miles along the coast instead of sitting around frustrated.
Couldn't agree more. 
I've been focused on my health lately, and I just got out of the hospital (maintenance, not emergency). Even if I don't improve my condition I've at least been improving my reaction to it and stress from it, blahblahblah. That said, I'm basically under house arrest since I'm so goddamn fatigued, and I may have a long trial-and-error period with new medications coming up. I know I'm doing what's best for both my physical and my mental health but it's a major bummer to not be able to be involved in any organizing at a time like this. I hope that I can achieve some sort of stability soon and can pick things back up, even if it's not on the front lines. @Frank@hexbear.net had a great comment here a while back that I'm trying to keep in mind:
Whenever folks express dismay that they can't do cool activism stuff on the front lines i try to remind them that an army marches on it's stomach and there's lots of logistics things that need to be done that don't involve marches and protest camps. Handling phones, making food, taking care of kids, coordinating intelligence, teaching classes and sharing expert knowledge. Many people can fight for a cause in ways that go beyonf the highly visible stereotypes of what protesting looks like but our society makes people think they're useless if they can't play tennis with tear gas cannisters.
Med students are having chatgpt do their ethics exams. I don't have a comment. Just a statement.
what do you call someone who cheated their way to a pass at med school?
doctor
Inside me there are two wolves. One wants a nap, the other one has drunk so much garbage my blood type is caffeine.
hands you a glass of water You know... For diluting the caffeine
Sweet, I can put caffeine tablets in that! No but actually I had some water and crashed, I slept for like 10 hours which isn't really a nap.
Sounds like you really needed the sleep though, so I'm glad the water helped.
Also, please don't put caffeine tablets in your water, it's not good for you 
what are support systems, what is identity, mention of suicide
I would (half-jokingly) be interested in a case study about friendship and support systems and what kinds of correlations there are and what factors contribute to a support system forming.
I think my brain is a little cooked in that I really don't see a way to meet new people and make friends, at least in my current ways of approaching things. I have a strong tendency to show up to things, look around, and if someone doesn't talk to me or something doesn't catch my interest, I end up leaving, because I just feel weird standing there thinking to myself, "should I talk to someone, who should I talk to, how do I decide" Like showing up to things by myself feels useless, I'm completely on rails.
I have yet to get to a Pride event this year. I consistently have conflicts or am burnt out. But that's I guess my only chance to meet people remotely like me. Hell, I'd be posting this in the trans comm, but posting there really spikes my rejection sensitivity. I don't have the energy to do that to myself or ruin the community for other queers.
It's especially tough because I came out to my pre-COVID friends online and they liked the post and went on with life. Selfishly, I thought at least one person might want to reconnect, or at least say "so that's where you've been!"
I thought about killing myself. I felt like I was already dead. It's not like anyone was reaching out to me anyway.
And now, if I say anything, I'm bringing up old shit. I'm being dramatic.
I don't know what I consider a support system, but off the cuff, I'd say I don't really have one. I have my family, who I can talk to sometimes. But nobody is experiencing this in real time with me. Nobody checks in on me, nobody reaches out if I go quiet.
Maybe deleting my old account was a form of self-rejection. But also, nobody in the trans mega cared when I did post. People invalidated my feelings at times. People gatekept. I felt like I had to prove that I was dysphoric in order to be accepted. That made me more dysphoric.
I just want to find a space where my gender is actively being affirmed, not just "oh I accept you regardless" but like actually having girly conversations and doing girly things. And calling each other girly nicknames, and doing our hair and makeup and going shopping. Or something.
I want to start by saying I'm glad you're here with us, and I hope I don't come across as disingenuous when I say that. I am autistic, and I struggle with communication so please feel free to tell me to eff off or disengage if at any point my words make you uncomfortable, unaccepted, or invalidated in any way.
words
I can sympathize with the feelings of isolation with no real support, and the anxiety in social situations. Wish I had a formula I could share to make it easier, but if I'm honest I'm still trying to figure all that out myself. I hope you know it's not selfish to want people to care, or notice when you're struggling and need help. The reality is that you deserve a safe space to be your unique and beautiful self and have that celebrated and openly accepted by those around you. It'll look different for everyone, but I think support can come in all shapes and flavors. The hard part is finding it and recognizing it. Hopefully we can give you a little bit of that here.
I can't speak on the dysphoria personally, but please know you don't have to prove anything. I am sorry things have been so difficult, and I genuinely wish that things get better soon. You've shared a lot and that's not always an easy thing to do. You're appreciated. Sending hugs if wanted.
i do not like that unemployment has become a meme thing to make fun of people for lately 
I want to think that it’s children doing this and they are yet to discover the truth about jobs.
My alternative is usually “go outside”. despite porky’s wishes, I don’t need to be a nepo baby to go outside just yet.
ya, "go outside" or "log off" are the same kinda idea but without punching down at ppl. but ppl like punching down at ppl so ig i shouldn't be surprised.
It sucks to see people 'punching down' like that, even in memes
where? i ain't seen it but i admit i deliberately avoid most media social n otherwise
i see it pretty much everywhere, but especially in youtube comments
Now that you mention it, I've seen that too, it's been cropping up very recently. I don't get it, tbh, but then again, punching down is easy, so of course people hop on.
Might be a bit redundant, but, as we head into the weekend again I want you all to remember that you matter, you are loved, and you belong! Thank you for being such an awesome community and always lovin on one another; it's lovely to witness. Ya'll inspire this awkward gremlin on the other side of the screen. 
We love our awkward little Gremlin
aww thanks 
I'm just gonna go live in an anarchist commune.
I've basically had free reign to contribute to this group I am organizing with these last 2 days and it's felt so meaningful and impactful. I'm working on a website for a food co-op we are starting, and also working on helping set up a sponsored free breakfast program and it's been so rewarding. I feel like I'm being seen for my skills I'm able to contribute and also being treated as a human. They are giving me feedback and actual meaningful praise that doesn't feel like corpo jargon bullshit. I really hope this co-op takes off and we can create enough surplus that I can possibly quit my job and work for this full time. I'm not sure how NGO's and non-profits manage all that. I might bring it up in our meeting tomorrow evening.
In any case, these last 2 days have been amazing for my mental health and now I gotta go back to my regular job. I'm trying to stay positive about it though.
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I wanted to say that all your kind comments as well as the conversations with all of you really picked up my spirits these last few days. I'm usually a very negative person when it comes down to me, and I tend to lash out at people around me when I'm feeling scared or in pain, often in immensely cruel ways. I had such a moment just this week, and was thinking of how I'm no better than my mother, but then you lot chimed in and really changed my perspective. I'm grateful to all of you, those who needed help as much as those who gave it. I'm just as conflicted as everybody else, I have my horrible moments, but I can also be a good person. So, ahm, thanks comrades, for making me feel human again.
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