this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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I'm back to be able to wear shoes comfortably at last. My surgical wounds have pretty much healed and aren't painful any more. The black cloud is my bloody tendon, still inflamed. But at least I'm able to walk around outside for about 5 minutes a time, three times a day. Better than being trapped indoors permanently, but still frustrating. I am so desperate to be able to walk more. But it's thanks to this community helping me get the things I needed that my surgeries are finally over and healed, and my landlady's car is usable again and for that I couldn't be more thankful.
Glad to hear you're back on your feet comrade, and that you got some assistance with the car. Hopefully things will continue in a better direction for ya.
Thanks, I hope so. There's a new hobby I want to partake in that i can do from home but due to my medical issues I just don't have the mental energy. I've been feeling so tired. Also to get started it would cost money which I don't have, and I already need to make a food aid post later today (when more people might see it). I am not going to make an aid post for a hobby, but f I win my benefit appeal and get some more energy I am going to do it though.
Yay to hobbies, no matter the level of participation! I saw your other reply about diet and stuff as well, sounds like you're doing a lot, it's awesome to see. Hope you can keep those spoons flowing and you win your appeal, you deserve some good news and positive changes.
Thank you.
I'm so happy to hear you got better love. It's never enough, but this is such big progress that I just squealed when I read it
Thank you. And I've discovered something else today that might help me. I've been trying to go vegan for ages, but I've developed so many food intolerances that it's been really difficult. I cut out all red meat decades ago, and have developed an intolerance to eggs, so they're gone. But I've still been eating chicken and fish and I really wanted to stop, especially the chicken because I don't want to contribute to factory farming. But whenever I try and replace it with extra vegetables, I get gastric issues. Today I found out about FODMAPs and it turns out I've been eating high-FODMAP veggies like mushrooms and broccoli. If I switch to low-FODMAP ones like carrots and courgettes I might be able to increase my veg intake without getting sicker. And I've been putting my food intake into cron o meter and I think I might just have to give up trying to be totally vegan and accept eating a bit of fish each day to meet my nutrient requirements. At least it's not factory farmed, I suppose. So I'm going to swap chicken for fish and change the veg I'm eating and see if I feel any better. Of course, there are mercury concerns with fish but apparently white fish is OK every day. Sainsburys does bags of frozen white fish quite cheap, I will try those.
I feel a renewed determination to try and improve my health because I've found a "hobby" (not the right word but can't think of a better one) that I want to get into. Many years ago I read The Mists of Avalon and absolutely loved it. It's about Pagan priestesses living on the isle of Avalon together, along with Merlin the Druid, learning magic. Ever since then, I have really wanted to live like that but I thought there was no chance. But I recently found out that there has been a Druid revival and there's a thing called The Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids, and you can literally do a course to become a Druid and join the organisation. I am really keen on this idea, and for the first time in ages I have a bit of hope that I might be able to improve my life at least a little. At least to no longer feel relentless, crushing hopelessness and misery with nothing in my future but su1c1d£.
My mood always goes up and down drastically, I sometimes find myself keen on an idea but then difficulties arise with it or I end up too unwell to go through with it, so maybe I will give up on this but right now I feel really keen on trying to improve my health as much as possible and if I win my benefit appeal I will use some of the backpay to do the Druid course. If only my tendon would heal up and I could walk outside for more than 5 minutes at a time that would be a huge help too.
EDIT: No, I can't do it. I need to find a way to be vegan. Everything inside me is telling me to.
I hope that tendon calms down. I wonder if antiinfamotory meals would help you. Wishing you all the strength. You sound courageously motivated.
Anti inflammatory meals? Like what? I'm interested in trying whatever it takes, but due to my cancer treatment I have developed a lot of food intolerances.
*You sound courageously motivated. * Thanks, but I am not at all. I wish i was. I actually feel on the brink of su1c1d£ all the time.
Thats when the will to live becomes most courageous. I can get ideations by staying inside all the time too and im sorry staying in has been sucking such dire ass for you.
About antiinflammtory meals, I'm not really sure, but someone told me they make them for a family member who deals with chronic inflammation. Highly fatty cuts of mammal-specied meat can trigger inflammation for some. Lower-fat cuts can be fine. On the other hand, highly fatty fish(probably since its omega 3's) reduces it. Leafy veggies and berries and some nuts reduce it.
It's not just pertaining to food, but the spices you use. Higher salt intake can increase inflammation so you might try low sodium soy sauce for example. Some herbs can lower inflammation, like turmeric. So you could have meals that use a heavier amount of such spices.
Apparently learning to make antiinflamatory meals is a skill you build. If you feel rewarded by cooking it might help you fare a darkly emotional day better. While it might not make it all better, keep in mind it's the little things that add up, and stay open for little bits of hope that it will at least be somewhat better.
Thanks for the tips. Yeah I think I'm going to have to do some trial and error. So many foods aggravate my medical conditions. The endocrinologist said it's a side effect of my cancer treatment. Sometimes I wonder if this is a virtual reality simulation and we're here to learn what mistakes not to make in the real world. I imagine waking up perfectly healthy, knowing exactly what I'm supposed to do and this life just becomes a bad dream.
Hopefully you or someone shopping for you builds food knowledge that leads to a little relief soon. And what a nightmare, I'd disbelieve my reality *too. I'm really sorry you have cancer. Bestest of luck on your treatment.
Thanks. The cancer is technically gone but I have to continue the treatment for life to stop it coming back. Also it was thyroid so I have to take thyroxine for life and the side effects are what has ruined my life.
Congrats on getting rid of the cancer. Is thyroxine your only option available?
Yes, the thyroxine serves two purposes, it does the job the thyroid gland would be doing if I still had it, and when kept at a high dose it supresses any remaining cancer cells so the cancer doesn't come back. Theoretically there could still be thyroid cells that they missed inside me, and any cancer in there could spread if they're not supressed. There is a different type of thyroxine made from desiccated pig thyroid glands, but that sounds disgusting and would have all the same side effects anyway.
Thats is really interesting. That sucks it could come back, but I'm glad you have security against it.
Damn we humans really like making cures from pig organs. I thought it was just the old way to make insulin for diabetes. Pig organ cures is a disgusting rabbithole I'm going down later. Apparently pig organ transplants have kept humans with failing or destroyed organs alive for longer. We really must have a holiday commemorating pigs.
You don't have to switch meds, I'm just mentioning the following in case you have been curious if your life might improve with the other med: If your current medication becomes too insufferable and you want to check out the pig-derived med to see if it's even slightly more intolerable, I think most people would prefer you living over pigs. I think respecting human lives is why the medication is popular enough to remain available. You are suicidal and if it comes to it you should choose yourself over pigs. Please choose yourself if you ever think about switching meds.
It's a gross cure, but all the things that come with cancer and suicide are far more terrible.