Homeworld mission three. Adagio for Strings still gives me chills because of that game. That was when teenage me realized videogames could be art.

My realization came from DDLC. I learned about what other people can feel after you've left

Brothers: A tale of two sons. Not a unique experience, as it almost seems like the whole point of the game is this one moment. So, spoilers.. Its control scheme is each analogue stick independently controls your two characters, two brothers. And it's a fun puzzle game where you have to resolve moving two characters at once in this way, moving, balancing, timing. It's all fun and games until a tragedy, the older brother dies. He was one of your control sticks, now for the rest of the game half your controller is dead also. And you walk back out of the cave past all the puzzles you did with your brother, which are made for two people. You're useless, and the feeling of loss is staggering.

I have a lot of these moments but I'll pick my top ones.

Crystalis on the NES. When the town of Shyron gets destroyed and characters you know and care about are killed. Left me in shock as a 10 year old kid. And the temple music when you enter the pyramid is hauntingly beautiful too. I hum that tune to my kids as a lullaby.

Mass Effect 1. Exploring the planets left me in awe. For the time, the atmosphere and lore was detailed, rich, and very well thought out. Then facing down a reaper in the third game, it all made me feel so small.

FF7. Aerith getting killed took me by complete surprise. My brother and I were stunned for a while. Just sat there pondering wether it was real or not.

Minecraft back in beta. The world was just so impossibly huge and you're all alone with your creations. Left me feeling very small. The more I built, the emptier it felt.

Finally, Mad Max on the PS4. The first time I got hit by a storm I was in awe. The world is just so well built and detailed. The whole game/movie universe is filled with amazing culture that's just done really, really well.

In Final Fantasy XIV, the Shadowbringers expansion (HUGE SPOILERS AHEAD). Through the vanilla game, and then two expansions, you're either directly or indirectly fighting the Big Bad Guys, whose motivations, history, and abilities are largely unknown to you.

But in Shadowbringers, one of them just kind of... hangs around. Not in the nefarious cloaked form, but as a hyper-powerful sometimes companion that you're not strong enough to fight, and you can use the little help he gives, even if you don't understand his motivation.

Then, over the course of the expansion, you learn more about the guy, learn why he and his group are doing what they do, and as horrible as it seems, it makes perfect sense. And from an objective, 3rd person view, he's right. He even takes you to the Final Day of his world... and the beginning of yours. But even though he's existed for thousands of years and has seen the entire history of your world, he's finally at the point where he can see your side. But he can't stop, because he's fighting to fix his world. And you can't stop, because you have to save yours. And the irony is that both are trying to save the same people, the same world, but either of you winning means the end of one or the other's version of it (think a reverse Tuvix situation).

It was just such a deep feeling to know the other side was right, but still having to fight against them because it would be wrong not to.

Also the music slaps. Especially after summoning 7 other "fragments" of yourself to give Big Man a smackdown.

The end of Half Life 2, and the end of Far Cry 2.

When I was around 8 years old I was lucky enough to get a PS2 for Christmas. Because I was young, my dad and I usually played games together so he could help me out if things got tough. One of the first games we played on the PS2 was ICO. My dad picked it up in the whim because he thought the box art was interesting knowing basically nothing. I still remember when the first cutscenes booted up and our jaws dropped to the floor. It was so much more beautiful and cinematic than any we had played. It was one of the first time I truly felt transported another world and I grew so attached to the horned boy and glowing girl. We played it every day and, talked about all the mysteries and theories we about it when we weren't. When we finally defeated the epic last boss fight against the dark queen and the Castle start collapsing I got scared for the horned boy and glowing girl. I couldn't tell you how long it actually took for the final scene to appear but it felt like forever. When I saw my lil horned friend finally escaped the castle and was on a beautiful beach with a boat he could be able anywhere, I couldn't help but to start crying it was just such a great ending and was so cathartic after going through a dark and mysterious castle for so long.

I think it really changed the way I thought about the medium. That a game where I couldn't really tell you what exactly what was happening and had no understandable dialogue could move me so much changed the way I thought about the medium and media in general. Nobody can ever convince me games are not art because I know I connected to ICO in a way in a way beyond just having fun. The fact it's been over 20 years and I still recall my emotions so vividly I think is a testament to the power of video games as an artistic medium.

Subnautica...when I was so immersed that I went too deep...didn't have enough time to return to the surface to breathe...and then looked up in anguish and saw that dreaded refraction "circle" hundreds of meters above you... THE DEEP HAS YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE

Pathologic 2

At the end of the game the

spoiler

inquisition looks at you and tells you that everything has been for naught, not because you couldn't save everyone, but because you were wasting time, in your real life, trying to save people in a video game as your real life slips away from you.

Left me shook. Amazing game.

It's practically a cliche now and there's a lot of reactive pushback to it, but the finale of the True Pacifist Run of Undertale lit a fire in me like nothing else could.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7n9zJKhTeaU

Undertale: You've progressed through most of the game. You didn't strike out at the monsters. You've done everything you could to avoid hurting those around you and yet strive for escape. Over and over You've been put up against a wall with your enemies striving to end you. You could fight back, you could react to this world of monsters and become like them, a monster.

But you didn't. You stand before a mirror in a house very similar to the one you were in at the start of the game. Looking into the mirror, you are affirmed.

"Despite everything. It's still you."

Despite everything I've gone through. Despite the hunger and gnawing to give in. To respond to the hatred and harm that has been inflicted on me with fury and bloodlust equal to the twisted delight others have taken in my suffering. I didn't give in. I didn't lose my joy in making others smile. I didn't give up my interests and the rare and disparate moments of joy.

Despite everything. It's still me. I'm still here. I'm not a monster.

I tried a Satisfacfory playthrough while on drugs, and somewhere in the upgrade tiers I fixed my brain. I can just decide what I want to focus on now. I was never able to do that before.

Detroit: Become Human.

The demo gives you one level, playing as an android helper to the police, helping to solve a murder.

The full game really took me through the looking glass in terms of empathy. Can't really say more without significant spoilers.

Dragon Age origins.

Exceptional writing and I walked right into it just expecting a cool fantasy game. I got hit with my first experience of in game romances, the shock of betrayal, the sacrifices... It was such a brilliant experience. Makes me really, really want to play it again now.

I argue that someone's first Dark Souls run gives a viewer a great understanding of a person's true personality and how they deal with difficult problems. Like watching my stubborn friend grind out fighting the titinite deamon by the blacksmith for 3 hours with an unupgraded spear really illistrated how stubborn he can be but also the dedication for self improvement. Your playthrough can also be self reflective. I found that I am quick to search for loopholes or cheese strats on hard bosses rather than put in the reps to learn it properly. I noticed I did the same thing in classes. Not cheating, but more like finding tricks and short cuts to make it work now rather than polishing basic skills and getting a deep understanding of the problem.

Was very eye opening to me and made me realize that how and what someone plays can tell you alot about a person.

Playing Elite Dangerous a few years back, I bought this little jerry-rigged thing called an ED Tracker. It's an Arduino with some accelerometers and a magnometer, basically the same sensors as a Wiimote, and it tracks yer 'ed. Much cheaper than TrackIR or other commercial solutions. Strap it onto some headphones or a hairband and with some software it models itself as a joystick, so I could look around the cockpit and target things I looked at, as well as look to the side to pop up ship and navigation menus. But the best bit was flying around a station with an orbital ring. I matched my velocity and pitched down slightly, then looked up at all the habitat areas. The graphics weren't perfectly amazing, but the sensation of just flying around in 3D and seeing everything was so overwhelming I actually had to stop playing for a few minutes. It was the kind of thing I'd dreamed of video games letting me do since I was a small child.

Playing Outer Wilds, spoilers ahead:

::: Minor Outer Wilds spoilers I was trying to see how far into space I could get before the time loop restarted. As I flew away, I aimed my signalscope back towards the solar system and listened to all the instruments play together. Then when the supernova hit, one by one, the instruments were silenced. :::

That game is full of so many great moments of discovery and realization in that game, I wish I could play it for the first time again.

Cyberpunk 2077 The Star ending which is the one where you leave with the Aldecados.

Then there are a couple of endings that left me with complete dread/empty but I am not going to say more if you played the game you know what I mean.

When I was a pretty young Makyo I rented of of the Dragon Warrior games for NES. It was one of those JRPGs with a pretty customizable party, naming them and all that. I was sick so I had a bunch of uninterrupted time playing and got so wrapped up in the story and gameplay, like I was cheering them on by name and really having one of my first somewhat immersive experiences with gaming. Then when it came time to return it, in the following days I actually really missed these characters! Like I was dealing with a new kind of loss that I hadn't felt before.

Just a really cool experience overall and I always look back on it as a reason I really got into gaming as a lifelong hobby and taught me how even more rudimentary versions could be artistic in ways that rival other means of storytelling.

The first spacewalk in Prey 2017. It's incredible. You get out of the gate, look around, see nothing but space around you, hear No Gravity playing (this track is extremely important), and realize how tiny and insignificant you really are. You barely understand how to control your character, everything is clunky, you seem to be in danger from everything around you. It's a perfectly directed moment.

Spoilers for Dragon Quest 11

I've played a lot of Dragon Quest games over the years so I'm used to the mostly cheerful games.

In Dragon Quest 11 one of your party members dies to save you so that you can make another attempt to save the world after you fail. Their death is fairly well handled by the party and the party had been friends for awhile by that point.

She willing sacrificed herself to save you and the rest of the party after you fail at saving the world because she believes that you can still do it. She believes that you can still win if you have another shot.

Her sister in the party comes to accept her death and uses it as a driving force to push harder to save the world with you.

The party grieves for her.

At the end of Act 2 though the story undermines it IMO by allowing you to head back in time to change things to save her and the world if you push hard enough, but by heading back in time you erase the future that you built with your party. All that build up, all the character growth, all that copping with the loss and unification that comes from it all. You can change it.

To me it felt like as a player I was betrayed by the story. I felt that her sacrifice made the story that much better. Her sacrifice made the story less "I need to save the world because it's my destiny," and changed it into, "I need to save the world because if I don't than my friend died for nothing." By going back in time and changing things you end the world as it is.

No one else would remember what you did if you succeeded, only you would remember how things were. If you failed then the world would be trapped in a cycle of darkness.

To me it felt wrong to do that, so that's where I stopped. I technically never finished the game but honestly I feel by not making that choice to go back in time that I got the better ending.

Silly I know but I feel that by destroying the timeline as it stood was worse than what the Dark One had done in destroying so much the first go around. Because they only destroyed a small chunk in comparison as you would be destroying literally everything just for the chance to bring that party member back.

Edit: Basically in that moment where they ask you to go back in time (which they insist you do) they are asking you to become the villain of that entire timeline for selfish purposes. That moment when you say yes is how Act 3 starts. In that moment by saying yes, you are no longer the hero. You are no longer the good guy. You no longer saved the world. You destroyed it because you wanted to.

spoilers for Dark Souls 2

Meeting King Vendrick at the end of the catacombs.

Since you first reached the hub town (Majula), you've been told that Vendrick has the means to cure the undead curse and all you need to do is find him. And so the entire game up 'till this point has been about reaching his castle and then when you discover he isn't there, tracking him down to the very bottom of the catacombs.

At the end of a long corridor full of enemies, past a recurring boss fight against one of Drangliec's many dragon riders, you pass through the fog wall and face Vendrick's bodyguard, Velstadt. It's an okay fight, not particularly flashy or difficult but at least it's not Prowling Magus.

Velstadt falls, and the only way forward is a short, narrow corridor that opened up behind him. The corridor leads down into an unlit room and in the dark you can faintly make out some large shape moving about the farthest side of the room to you.

As you get closer you hear Majula's familiar theme begin to play as the creature in the room takes shape before your eyes.

It's Vendrick, succumbed to the undead curse.

So hollowed by now that he doesn't even acknowledge your presence, instead slowly walking the same circle in a loop. His withered arms barely able to raise the sword he once used to slay the king of the giants.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

As I sat there trying to figure out what my next steps were supposed to be, I couldn't help but contemplate Vendrick's fate.

Time and time again this game presents you with the inescapable nature of death. Of how no matter how good a life you lived it will come to an end. No matter what legacy you try to secure it will crumble and be forgotten. The iron king in all his tyranny is naught but ichorous earth now, even Vendrick is dead (though his body hasn't caught up on that yet).

"If life is short, and my deeds are inevitably forgotten," I thought to myself, "Why the fuck am I living as a man when doing so makes me miserable?"

Long story short, the next day I finally worked up the courage to talk to my GP about a gender service referral.

I played Gris on a lot of LSD and bawled my fucking eyes out at the end

The ending of the Tiny Tina dlc for Borderlands 2. How do kids deal with death? Well, it isn't easy.

No Man's Sky. The first time I got to a spaceship, flew out of the planet into space seamlessy. And then, again seamlessly, landing to another planet. It still amazes me, but nothing beats the first time.

And the one, the only original FF VII. The death of Aeris. Yes, I'm that old.

Journey by thatgamecompany - it is difficult to put into words what it is exactly that I experienced, and I think every person's take away will be a bit different, but there is a profound and overwhelming experience to be had with that short but wonderful game.

Firewatch has a turning point in its story which hits like a truck, and is very grounding. It takes a story which has felt almost whimsically frightening, and brings it much closer to home emotionally.

I was a huge fan of the Prince of Persia Sands of Time trilogy. Just before the third game came out I replayed the previous two games again. I managed to get the secret ending of the second game. It's un understatement that it blew my mind and that the third continued from there instead of the regular ending.

Eve Online. I am outspoken about having been in the battle of B-R5RB. Nuff said.

Hard to pick.

Starting my first own game system. Before that only gaming was done in "video arcades"

Silent Service - Limping back to base with 75000t sunk, no ammo and sub barely functional.

F-18 - First vector graphics flight sim I saw, that wasn't just wireframe. Mindblowing.

Civilization - First playthrough with a friend.

UFO - Enemy Unknown - Storming the first UFO. Although game was similar to Laser Squad, it was still revolutionary.

Wing Commander - First mission ever. Game was like anything before and really tickled my Battlestar Galactica itch.

Comman & Conquer - Had played Dune before, so it was not the first RTS, but really hit the nail on the head.

Team Fortress - My first online gaming experience.

GTA 3 - Playing the first time. My first open world experience. Have had a little pause in my gaming.

B17 - Mighty Eight - Just barely ditching on English soil with only one functional engine after a suicidal mission.

Alpha Centauri - First playthrough with the Mrs.

Battlefield 1942 - After Wolfenstain Enemy Territory, open space and vehicless felt amazing.

Elite Dangerous - First launch, first interstellar jump and first combat in the same flight. Elite games had been a bit boring on the sound and visual design before, but holy shit.

Deep Rock Galactic - Never approved any friend requests on steam before. Started approving them. Some legendary moment ensued.

The ending of Mirror's Edge.

Really good final level, finally freeing the protagonist's younger sister at the last minute as big emotional conclusion, a beautiful view of the city at night from atop a skyscraper, a burning helicopter falling down the glass walls, and then this f*cking beautiful music starts to play! It just all came together.

Too many to count but the most recent one that sticks out in my mind is my first encounter with The Depths in Tears of the Kingdom. I had kinda glossed over the initial introduction you get as you travel to Lookout Landing and figured the big hole you see is just a regular cave (I didn’t really pay attention to whatever the NPC there had to say). Anyway, fast forward about 10 hours and I find some lowly well and hop down it, expecting to land in a small little pit. Instead a 30 second plummet and horn swell later I find myself in complete darkness, getting murderated by moblins and struggling unsuccessfully to stumble my way toward whatever the hell that big light bulb thing was in the distance. Was a fantastic surprise. 11/7 would plummet again.

Another poignant memory is the final mission in A Plague Tale: Requiem—freakin’ heartbreaking.

My first planetary landing in Elite:Dangerous was something to behold.

Celeste.

Hard retro platformer with amazing musical themes that persist throughout the whole game.

The main character has anxiety, which another character helps them deal with by imagining a floating feather that your breath controls. Slow, long breaths in and out to keep the feather balanced.

The game has an evil entity pursue you intermittently, and all you can do is run.

The feather actually appears on screen and you try to make it slowly move up and down to calm down. It was a great tool that is actually used IRL to deal with anxiety.

When the character is being chased, the entity makes you panic, so the character tries to calm down and the feather comes back on screen. The entity slashed through that feather and mocks you for trying.

What a gut punch that was.

when i won my first game of spider solitaire on the windows xp and the fireworks started shooting

"I need sleep and should stop mining"

I had hoped that playing Spiritfarer would help me deal with the loss of my mom. It's not any particular moment in the game, but I just can't play it without breaking into tears at some point. Not sure I will ever be able to play it for any length of time.

Life is Strange: True Colors completely fucked with my head. Not all the plot relevant and intense parts of the game, but the moments where Alex found a new home and community. Especially the end where

spoiler

Gabe's "ghost" guides you to choose between staying in Haven or leaving.

Watching the scenes of Alex staying really hit me hard because I lived for years in a place I hated, was working in a stressful environment I hated, and was 1000 miles away from my friends. It took a while to get out of that funk, but I haven't gone back to play it despite being in a better place and it being one of my favorite games of all time.