Asklemmy

By licking off the topping and sauce. The base gets reused for new pizza.

My partner picks it up from underneath the slice and starts by eating the crust. To this day I'm still baffled by it.

You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.

ITT: there is evil in all of us.

Spiral sliced and slurped as one giant noodle.

Concentric slices.

Blend it

Uncut, center out from the bottom.

Or

Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.

slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson

Wrap it in a tortilla

This awful video I saw where someone put pizza in a blender and turned it into a casserole

Turn it into a curry.

Eat the crust, leave the rest.

I take two personal pizzas and cook them normally. I generally use the frozen ones from Costco and use one cheese and one pepperoni. I also have frozen hamburger patties from Kroger but they're the thin ones. I'm trying to lose weight, after all, so there's got to be sacrifices made. OK now I have those frozen rectangular hash browns like McDonald's sells, but mine are from Kroger again. I can generally cook all four items at once in my air fryer which is more of a convection toaster oven kind of deal. Anyway before I ramble on too long, I assemble a "hamburger" using the pizzas as buns and the rest is obvious. Apply mayo and/or American cheese or whatever like that Korean paste they use. Yum. I like to cut mine in half.

Those thin patties are great! This all started because I was tucking a folded one inside a Hot Pocket. You just split open one side and it becomes a literal hot pocket. Do not stick your ... oh never mind

take a bit from the outer perimeter, rotate the zza slightly, then take another bite. repeat until you've spiral-noshed the whole thing

Turned into a slurry and then administered as an enema.

rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side

OR

not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace

When we used to order pizza in middle school, kids would fold the slices one on top of the other and eat them like a big sandwich. That was the most popular way to avoid questions about whether they would share it with others. Not to mention, most people snuck to the toilet for feasting.

In a blender

https://youtu.be/H4Hkx3Qa1vY

My father uses a knife and fork to cut off the crust, eat in pieces, and then continues to use the knife and fork. It is so embarrassing whenever we're out.

With a spoon

Close second would be chopsticks.

Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that's fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.

After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it's very dim. "Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is." Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, "Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went." Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. "More for me then!" Eat the whole thing.

Instant legend.

infuse it into vegetable glycerine and vape it

Chopsticks

Blending and drinking through a straw

Chicago Deep Dish lmao gottem

Folded over so the cheese is on the outside then held with ham fists.

Better yet, Chicago style, but folded over so the sauce is on the outside and then eaten no hands like a pie contest