this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
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[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 104 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)

The project manager keeps asking for an update every 15 minutes.

Not only do I feel this in my soul, I've been working for almost 13 years, and to this day, I'm still not sure what a project manager contributes.

The only thing I can tell is that their job is to be the designated impatient person.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 96 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Good project managers are invaluable. I'd much rather explain status to a sympathetic ear and have them reword it for diplomacy than try and directly advocate with executives - and I celebrate any customer communications I don't have to be a party to.

When PMs act like part of the dev team and handle the communication side of the project it lets devs focus on the important shit... and if your PM is asking for daily updates then they're too green (or you're too unreliable) to have built up a good level of trust. Nobody fucking cares if a project is delivered at 3PM or 4PM, so who the fuck cares about daily or hourly project updates - the status won't be materially different.

It's like managers or fellow developers - good ones are invaluable and shitty ones make everyone's lives harder... the difference is that PM seems to be a position that attracts do-nothing folks so it's more likely you'll get a shitty roll.

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 23 points 3 weeks ago

The really good ones understand they are in administration and leave technical things to the technical people.

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[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 20 points 3 weeks ago

I have a friend who was a project manager. He took the time to learn every platform used by his team, but held no pretenses that he could actually develop anything without the team. His main goal was filter all the horseshit from the stakeholders and higher-ups so that they wouldn't overwhelm the team with minutia. By learning the platforms and observing the team developing, he could make accurate predictions on timeliness based on whatever arbitrary feature was being requested and he'd always answer "let me ask my team" before discussing deliverables if he wasn't sure.

The number of times that he explained in meetings that's the team's timeline didn't change, but that the stakeholders' expectations did and that introduced a new additional timeline was incredible. It's unsurprising that he only lasted a year or two before his bosses started pushing for a promotion. Seeing him work made mean bit jealous that I couldn't be on his team, but we work at different companies and I don't want to join the private sector if I can be of benefit to public education.

[–] NocturnalEngineer@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

They're technically there to ensure the project has the correct resources aligned, and manage the project budget.

Aka if they want timely updates, they can purchase & fetch me coffee! I don't need them, but they sure as hell need me.

[–] MisterFrog@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

I don't work in software, I'm a chemical (aka process) engineer.

Some project managers are superfluous if they don't have a background being an engineer of some discipline themselves, but the vast majority I've worked with are excellent because they have a working knowledge of everything required to progress each stage of the project, and deal with most of the client interactions.

Being able to say: "we've done x, but we still need y, z and aa to progress" and then the project manager organising this getting done together with the other discipline leads is a godsend, letting you focus on doing the actual calculations/design/nitty-gritty details. And the fact they manage the annoying role of dealing with clients and the disagreements around that is also great.

This is working as a consultant, but I imagine if you replace clients with higher ups, I'd imagine the same still applies.

Perhaps things are very different in software, but I do think there is some use for them.

But I've never had one check up every 15 mins, more like once a day, and only if something is very time sensitive. Otherwise it's once a week, or by email as required.

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[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 55 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

"I'm going to try to hack the system."

# sudo apt install hollywood

# hollywood

"We're in!"

[–] curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

While Hugh Jackman gets some sloppy dome (with a gun pointed to his head).

Its because he's the best there is folks.

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[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 7 points 3 weeks ago

sudo rm -rf ~/*

"Fuck y'all, I quit. Good luck with the crisis."

[–] Affidavit@lemm.ee 45 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"Quick! Hurry! Scrum! 5 minute stand up team! We need to sort this crisis out NOW!"

"Joe! The building is on fire! Move! RUN!"

"No! We need to have a meeting first! SCRUM! STAND UP! AGILE! SILICON VALLEY!!!1!!!1!! When is the next sprint!?"


Looking for a passionate, motivated team member to be part of a newly refreshed team created to replace an unsuccessful team (RIP) promoting our incredibly competitive product!

  • You must have at least 40 years experience working with Windows 11.
  • GENEROUS remuneration package!*
  • You need to be able to work 26 hours a day 9 days per week.
  • You will need to bring PASSION! ENTHUSIASM! EXCITEMENT! [synonym not found]!, and GRIT!

*as we are a small start up, we can't afford to pay wages, but when we are successful, we promise to write your name somewhere on an archived version of our website.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 40 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

PM: "Hey, I know you said it'll be done in a week, and you need me to stay out of your way so you can focus, but it's been 7 hours and I was wondering if you have an update for me. Can you create a report that outlines what you've done, what is remaining, and precisely when each step will be finished so that I can pester you about each step throughout the development process, interrupting your productivity? It makes me feel like I'm contributing."

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[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 38 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Not programming, but the plot of Shin Godzilla was about bureaucratic red tape holding back the actual solutions.

[–] IzzyScissor@lemmy.world 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

It's my favorite Godzilla movie because of this aspect. There's a scene where I lost it in the theater when the >!Prime Minister is completely certain in telling the press that Godzilla will absolutely never, not in a million years, not make landfall.. only to have an underling whisper in his ear that Godzilla just made landfall.!<

I worked for a Japanese company at the time, and could recognize that it wasn't even heightened for parody. That's just exactly how it is.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

only to have an underling whisper in his ear that Godzilla just made landfall.

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[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD DEREGULATE EVERYTHING! INCLUDING FOOD AND DRINKING WATER, AND WE SHOULD ALLOW ALLOW COMAPNIES TO DUMP INTO RIVERS!

I love hollywood

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[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 38 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

When a team of programmers is left to their own devices, they too screw shit up. They all do things in their own way and argue over what is best, and often fail to see the bigger picture.

I watch scope creep and lack of organizational planning from both programmers and managers. It's all personality issues.

I also don't believe anyone actually follows or knows what agile is (not saying I do either). Everyone on every team at every place sure talks about it, but it doesn't seem like anyone actually does it. These are all just labels for "we adapted as we went."

[–] spacecadet@lemm.ee 31 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (7 children)

Found the PM/TPM. The best software was written without Agile and PMs/TPMs. It’s only after software becomes successful that the need is felt for that stuff.

The world runs on open source software and I don’t know of a single open source project that uses Agile or PMs/TPMs.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

They all do things in their own way and argue over what is best, and often fail to see the bigger picture.

It sounds like your programming team is missing a senior engineer/director of engineering. You need an engineer who has the experience to see the big picture, architect solutions, and tell the team what's what.

[–] mynameisigglepiggle@lemmy.world 32 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

HOW MANY STORY POINTS DOES IT TAKE TO SAVE THE WORLD?

[–] ramirezmike@programming.dev 33 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

WHY DID THIS 3 POINTER TAKE FIVE DAYS

YES YES, IT'S NOT TIME BUT WE ARE TRACKING IT THAT WAY BUT IT'S IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO NOT THINK OF IT THAT WAY WHEN YOU ESTIMATE BUT WHY DID YOU GO OVER THREE DAYS

[–] normalexit@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Let's all head to the conference room, so we can discuss the definition of a story point for an hour. I'd also like to talk about why we are behind schedule and our velocity is dipping. Let's make it two hours.

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[–] ThirdConsul@lemmy.ml 28 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Tickets aren't agile, tickets are scrum.

[–] wellbuddyweek@lemm.ee 22 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Then again, the guy giving you that remark usually doesn't know the difference

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[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in this Excel spreadsheet on Teams. Be sure to update it regularly…”

15 mins later.

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in Azure DevOps. Be sure to update it regularly…”

15 mins later.

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in Smartsheet. Be sure to update it regularly…”

15 mins later.

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in ServiceNow Virtual Taskboard. Be sure to update it regularly…”

[–] Trail@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

The last one hurt a bit.

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

They don't know there are 20 other life and death situations that came before them. GET. IN. LINE.

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[–] ElectroLisa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Not a movie but I feel like Mr Robot had somewhat accurate scenes

[–] Jyek@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Someone watching Silicon Valley could be forgiven for coming away with the impression that most software developers spend 90% of their time screwing around waiting for solutions to unexpected bullshit interruptions...

So yeah, pretty accurate.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Do I really need to open a ticket for this

Yes

UNIRONICALLY, ASSHOLE! IT'S THE FIRST THING YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE!!!

Fucking "hey guys, we are bringing in someone from another department and they need to catch up. What's the project looking like?"

"I don't know. Nobody wrote anything down and now it's scattered across six didn't PCs in various states of dysfunction."

IT guys think they're all Michael Jordan right until they get the ball.

[–] chilicheeselies@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I get the message here for sure, but imo tickets (while important) take a back seat to a rich commit history. Ifbthe commit messages and history are high quality enough, one can tell whats up with the code sinply by looking at the log.

Tickets on the otherhand are in a secondary system. Of course, they can bind the work of multiple projects together. But honestly, has anyone ever been able to just reach the ticket history and know everything about a project without asking someone?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

tickets (while important) take a back seat to a rich commit history

I've found people who do one will manage the other with ease. But "oops! No ticket" is a canary telling me their commit log is going to be shit.

But honestly, has anyone ever been able to just reach the ticket history and know everything about a project without asking someone?

I've been able to find out the status of individual half-finished bugs off a ticket log and work/reassign it quickly. Without a ticket in queue, I'll either discover the issue has been completely ignored or that multiple people pioneered their own boutique fix without talking to one another.

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[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

An app that will save the world…and other fantasies that software developers tell themselves to feel important

[–] Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

I absolutely hate project managers. In my almost decade of IT work, every PM I've ever dealt with was garbage. They have no idea what is going on, and then ask an ass load of questions at the end of the meeting about things that were already covered. Useless.

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 13 points 3 weeks ago
"Why isn't this ready yet? The meteors are falling in an hour?"

- Oh sorry I got distracted by Youtube for a minute

"...You've been doing this for a week"
[–] big_fat_fluffy@leminal.space 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

All programmers are goth supermodels.

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Click, click, clickity-click, click.

I'm in!

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[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Half way into saving the World it turns out you need some data that's not even being collected, something that nobody had figured out because nobody analysed the problem properly beforehand, and now you have to take a totally different approach because that can't be done in time.

Also the version of a library being include by some dependency of some library you included to do something stupidly simple is different from the version of the same library being included by some dependency of a totally different library somebody else includeed to do something else that's just as stupidly simple and neither you nor that somebody else want to be the one to rewrite their part of the code.

[–] IzzyScissor@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The sequel is when the original programmers die and a new team has to come in and figure out WTF their code is doing or even supposed to be doing.

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[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The person in charge trying to coordinate the whole thing, who's asking for status updates on a daily basis and jumps down your throat if you don't respond in a timely fashion, takes weeks to respond when asked for critical input. Also....

Leader: The world is going to end in 5 days, we need that product now!!!

Programming team delivers a functional product.

4 days later...

Programming team: did our item save the world

Leader: I haven't gotten to it yet, I'll take a look by EoD.

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[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

Some people like happy movies, some like action movies or horror movies even!

I like frustrating movies.

[–] Squibbles@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the Pentagon Wars is about as close as it gets for now. Not about programming of course but all about company bureaucracy and feature creep

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0144550/

[–] fishos@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's definitely satire, but I feel Silicon Valley did a decent job. Yes they absolutely made things up, but it was more about the backend and pushing updates and servers being erased because someone accidentally sat a drink on a keyboard.

[–] Squibbles@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

In an interview about silicon valley the creators said they interviewed a lot of people in the industry and had to actually cut out a bunch of stuff because it wouldn't be believable by people outside the industry. One small example was the valuation. The VC people they talked to said pied piper would have gotten a lot more money than what ended up being in the show

[–] fishos@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Yeah, you can definitely tell the show was filtered through the lense of "what will the average person understand". I just appreciated the focus on actually building something vs just seeing the business side of it.

[–] umbraroze@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

I once read about Andy Warhol's film Empire and thought it could form a decent stylistic background for a movie about your average programmer's work day.

One continuous 8 hour shot of a programmer sitting by a computer, slowly scrolling through a code, pausing for a long time to stare at particular sections, and occasionally saying "why the fuck doesn't this work?"

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