Make a beeline for the location of a billionaire CEO.
this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2025
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I've always been on about this! A suicial assassin is an unstoppable force. A man that has nothing to lose is a dangerous one. Two bullets n' a gun, you're taking someone with you to hell. They can't question you, sentance you, shame you, and if you killed some popular enough guy you'll go down in history. If you're client has the capacity they can even pay your family.
Procrastinate while doom scrolling
Kiss my wife, hug my family members, cuddle with my chicken and enjoy some tunes.
When you say "tunes" do you mean cartoons or music?
Music, though I'm down with some toons as well :)
When you say "cuddle with my chicken", is that a euphemism for spanking the monkey?
Nope, it's an actual chicken. She's cuddly when she's in the right mood.
May I see it?
One is her awake, the other is her when she settled in for a cuddle nap. The background of the sleepy one is colored in because I don't show pictures of my house, not because there's a wall of porn or anything.
Well, she is quite cuddly, I'll give you that
I still get shocked at having a chicken as a companion sometimes. She'll hop up and nestle in like that, and it's just surreal lol.
The secret ingredient... is #Crime π
What are they gonna do? Kill me?
Go through all my RPG saves and use all the super powerful items I've been "saving" to finally see what they all do.
Say "Thank fuck, finally" and take a nap
Iβd probably do a bunch of MDMA and just head to the beach or somewhere in nature and have a blast.
I havenβt done drugs in over a decade and probably wonβt ever get back into them, but man if I knew I only had 24 hours left Iβd be back in a heartbeat.
I wuld go all out and buy new kitchen sponge set.
A good number of people would die at my hands. Too many bad actors wrecking people I love lives to be left alone if I can give a good use to my final hour.
Maybe what I'm doing right now? I mean, it could be.
The same exact thing I'm gonna do without that knowledge.
Enjoy the day together with my wife.
Would I know it's my last day? If so, skip work and take a nap. If not, work then take a nap.
Call my parents and my very few friends and let them know, and make sure that they understood how much they'd meant to me. Then I'd spend the rest of my time with my partner, making sure that I'd tied up loose ends, gave them full access to all my accounts so that they didn't get nasty surprises after my death, and then just talk to them.
Live.
[Redacted]
Research life insurance policies, transfer my clients to other providers, and move everything important into my partner's name (car title, utilities, etc) and create a list of all my passwords and such for her.
Just covering all the logistics would probably take most of the day, and I'd wanna clean and organize all my stuff/our apartment so she's not stuck with that too.
I'd probably try to get about an hour on the phone with each of my immediate family members while I clean and organize.
Hopefully I'd have a few hours left to spend with my partner in the evening, which I imagine we'd mostly spend crying together
Also I'd max out my credit cards on online orders for stuff for my partner, friends, and family
Go for a drive, find a shady looking place to eat, eat something really bad for me and desert.
Head home, play some video games, play some drums, chill⦠no reason (for me) to make it a big deal.
Run command
/gamemode 1
At this point I've already long since been dead inside, so it's well past time that my body finally joined my spirit. At least I'd go out happier knowing that I wouldn't actually have to live through the second coming of Repugnican-induced hell - a.k.a. "this time we're gonna hit the ground running and do our damnedest to thoroughly destroy what's left of the country in under four years."
Smoke weed erry day
Call family and friends. Tell them how much they have meant and had shared many positive experiences. Then probably donate to Luigiβs cause. Then probably donate to some non profit. But my friends and girlfriend a car or house or some shit. Do some drugs Iβve always wanted to do.
Sleep, wait until the end. Just keep mostly going as usual, I won't care about anything afterwards.
Only difference, I'd donate all my money. Perhaps, I'd try to get one of those smaller loans some banks offer instantly (without giving a reason) and donate that too. Not sure if mine does that as well.
But perhaps if I wasn't a coward and nobody knew I was going to die anyway, I'd attempt to commit suicide for statistical reasons.
Makes me think about time travel again, because in this case the event could be caused by the time travel. I mean, the traveller goes back in time to cause an event that already happened. Perhaps that's the only reason why I was going to die.
Could it work this way?
Oh, wait, that's how it was in Interstellar, no? If you travel to the past you can only do things that cause you to travel to the past and do the exact same things.
Huh...
I am getting off-topic.
I would call my boys to tell them I love them. I would let my ex know that my dog needs to be picked up tomorrow. Then I would eat the remainder of my gummies and go to bed. My dog of course would likely follow and lay beside me as I drift off into nothingness.
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Try to make my relationships with the people I love more meaningful. That's probably really cliche though, but still.
Make sure my wife is on top of our finances as possible and figure out and start disability paperwork and direction for her to take to try and survive.
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
It is what it is but I sure hope I don't go before her as she is massively screwed at that point.
Same boat here. My spouse has numerous health issues that are mostly manageable, but the physical limitations make employment difficult and the Medicaid health plans are such as PITA to deal with that they may as well not be there. My spouse has extremely low self-esteem beat into them since childhood by an asshole stepfather (that over two decades I've only minimally been able to improve), and thus no drive to fight for the help that is needed. Me going would likely mean the end for both of us.
Funny because my wife's dad (its her actual one, well as far as we know) was sorta a misogynist and she to has esteem issues. We have been together for awhile so not as bad but it never completely goes away. Curiously when we dated I recognized her dad was sorta like my mom who myself and my siblings thought was just awful but admittedly, given a choice, its worse for it to be the dad. Its a very weird situation for me because on my own I have done very well education and job wise. So well that as a family we do decently if not high on the hog (which is really a big deal given the expenses). All the same it would take so little to fall apart mainly due to expenses. Right now Im unemployed (was let go mid late september which I find is a really bad time just before a crazy pres election that goes into holidays) and between looking for work im constantly trying to figure out how long we can go without me working. We are getting older and when I do the math on retirement its not going to work. I dunno again its so weird because im simultaneously really successful and yet really..... well you know.
Sleep with my best friend
Nothing different. I wanr to die as I've lived.
Dispose of some things family doesn't need to know i have, then go spend the rest of my life watching LoTR on a couch with some cats. Sounds like a fairly nice way to go out.
Probably hire someone to help me throw out all my shit. My family have hoarding issues and a death in the family is the exact sort of thing that would make them relapse, like keeping random old receipts I forgot to throw out. I'd have to throw out everything or I'd die pissed off about it.
Other than that, grab some fakey corporate moonshine and sit by the lake. Try to be home before I die so my cat can see my body and know what happened.
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