this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...

I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).

Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.

CONTENT WARNINGSGrief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given

PremiseThe titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.

The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)

"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).

Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).

Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).

Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.


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[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] SadArtemis@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

Heya ☺️ catgirl-salute

[–] President_Obama@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (9 children)

Y'all know about nullos? You should

Nullification is a type of SRS where the genitals are removed, and the genital area is completely flat/smooth, with only a small hole for the urethra left. The procedure is done by a few clinics in the USA and Mexico. People who have had the procedure or want it, refer to themselves as nullos.

There's three main motivations for getting it, in my anecdotal experience talking with other nullos: first is obviously gender dysphoria. I'm agender, and so are most nullos.

A second is asexuality: some want their bodies to reflect their sexuality, and for some it's a combination of gender and sexuality that makes them feel more comfortable having a body without genitals.

A third, smaller but still significant portion of nullos are cis gay men, bottoms, who from as far as I can tell desire it as expression of their sexuality.

I'm in a small community online (OK, a discord server, lol) of nullos, and it's a genuine 50/50 split between "I'm ace never want to do anything remotely sexual" and the most wildly kinky people I've ever fucking met. Also the most accepting people I've ever met.

Small note, there's some overlap with people with BIID? Which is interesting

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)

dysphoriaSometimes I feel so wide! doggirl-tears
I feel like I’d be narrower at my height if I was cis.

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[–] MoonElf@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Witchy stuff

Today is a special day for some witches. It's a Dark Moon, and the last new moon of the year, and falling on the 30th one of Hecate's special days in the Hellenistic tradition. This lineup won't reoccur for many years, I may never see it again.

And last night i slept amazingly for the first night in a month and my mother in law is properly and intentionally using my gf's pronouns just out of the blue after 5 months of insisting she never would. There's magic in the air!!!! Less than 2 hours until the moon's zenith for me. I'm so happy! Time for Deipnon!!

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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Found the vaporwave theme on hexbear, I'm now reading y'alls comments with that filter now kirby-wave

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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

my bi cycle has been so completely and utterly out of wack recently and it's been exhausting. Yesterday I was daydreaming all day about boys without a single thought about women and three days before that I was doing the exact opposite!! Every day I internally roll a d6 and that's where I am on the fucking Kinsey scale for the day and I really wish it wasn't so volatile. Let me pick a side and stay with it for at least 2 weeks or do before moving on angry-hex

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[–] yewler@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I'm around such yappers and I can never get a word in edgewise and all of a sudden when I start infodumping I get shut down basically instantly. Why am I even here?

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Probapoly: the feeling of when you're probably polyamorus but have no romantic partners and no idea if you'd actually be into it if you had a single, monogamous relationship

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (9 children)

Mother in-law gifted me a mug for Christmas, might have to become a tea drinker. doggirl-shock
What is good tea even tho? lea-think

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[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh yeah, it's artie's turn for the mega catgirl-heart

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

Shower fixed doggirl-happy

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

Today’s going to be a weird day for me. It’s my 10-year anniversary of fully cracking my egg. But instead of going out for dinner with my family, like I originally planned, I’m sitting here all alone being sick. catgirl-cry

Guess I’ll just pull out my most expensive tea and see where the day will take me. And the celbration stuff will have to wait until my official name change that will happen pretty soon anyway.

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I did it again, checking the old mega all day wondering why no one was posting 😭

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[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

I am sicki lost so much of my vacation to food poisoning and I am pissed about it, I still can't eat properly

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Did some real cringe shit at the gym and feel very retroactively embarrassed but like nobody saw so I guess it's okay but I'm actually worried about the employees watching the CCTV and being like "damn, what a (SLUR redacted-1redacted-2)

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If I read yuri manga, I will hate myself less. Yuri manga is the cure.

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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i'm a melancholypilled sadcel entering my despairmaxxing gazingoffintothedistance arc

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[–] Eco@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

puppy new yuri

[–] 0x2640@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Found a Super Jammie Dodger at the Super Tesco doggirl-happy

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[–] Eco@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (7 children)

is thestorygraph good? i want a goodreads alternative not owned by amazon

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[–] KatGirl@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I made this cat account and now the puppygirl pronouns are hitting me in my weak spot making me question myself

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (4 children)

dieting, weight loss2025 is the year I make it to 8 stone. doggirl-thumbsup

Seeing number go down after completely stagnating over the holidays is kind of giving me a high. doggirl-sweat

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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

Not first, sucks.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I talked a little about it earlier, and kind of understated my feelings in the moment, but fuck am I both excited and scared about the possibility of getting on HRT. It's crazy to me that I've been suffering from gender dysphoria for years and only started considering getting on HRT in the last several months, but if everything goes right, it'll all be resolved in a matter of weeks, and ultimately this was spurred by a kind of crappy Christmas with "family". Yet there's still the possibility that I won't get to it soon (I still need to go through all the blood tests and admittedly I have not been taking care of my health up to this point), and even if I do, there's the social consequences of the changes to worry about. Pretty much everyone in my life is socially conservative, and I live in a red state, so I don't know what's gonna happen there. Despite all that, without a doubt I'm looking forward to starting HRT so I can become the woman I've always wanted to be.

It's also weird (yet comforting) to me that the more I think about medically transitioning, the more at peace my mind is. But sadly the only thing I can do at this point is think about it. When my egg first cracked, I thought I would socially transition first (I've made posts from as recently as a month or so ago saying this), but only recently have I realized I can't let myself do that without some form of medical transition. It's not just the way of presenting myself that needs to change, my body does too.

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[–] PaX@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

My mom started using my non-deadname without me even asking :O

She still uses the other one in a lot of contexts still (talking to friends about me) but it was still really, really nice to see especially after she was so dismissive (read: transphobic) when I started talking to her about my transness initially

I haven't rly talked about it with her like... in-depth and seriously yet but stillllll

Uhhh amerikkka is a land of contrasts or something

Have been so surprised by her recently, she's even been getting into left politics recently. Some of it is Trump derangement syndrome but like, she's using my name now without even asking and we've been talking seriously about communism and anti-imperialism for the first time in my life. She has even expressed wanting to get involved with some kind of left organization (I haven't recced her a communist party or something quite yet lol). People can actually change, there has to be hope for all of us

Maybe part of it is I am actually quite okay at talking communism (without even saying that word hehe) with people now lol, a lot of it is cuz of this site besides reading more and spending a little time (not enough) in orgs

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