My landlord pays me to live in my apartment rather than the other way around.

Look at my profile and check my comment count. 😎

I've actively moderated the Zootopia subreddit almost since its inception. We did a lot of cool stuff but, uh, moderating a subreddit is not the kind of thing you brag about. Anyway, i quit this year.

Also i have every single r/place-related medal because i helped organize artworks. That's not any better is it?

I can drive 18 hours at a time only stopping for fuel and something to eat while driving.

That I got into the main reading room in the library of Congress.. most only go through the tourist area.

As compulsion, I watch YT tutorials at breakneck speed: 2.5x-3x.

YouTube tutorials can be pretty low information density. Sentences have important pointers every 5 seconds or more ("The thing is, like, if you're trying to do this, or this, do X first" -- predictable/less functional words), and the first third of a YouTube video is often useless. Of course, denser videos get slowed to normal and have clips replayed.

Internally, this stems from nervousness of wasting time (oops), and it hurts my head if I do it too long ( but looks cool beforehand B) )

I've starred in 1 local govt commercial, have my mustached face in an airport infomercial (around the 40-50s mark) and have some 3-5 seconds of screentime as an extra in 2 different brazilian movies.

I have a very high pressure stream when I urinate. Downside is I really have to worry about splash back at a urinal, upside is I can do little side quests while I'm peeing, spot cleaning the toilet bowl.

I'm the leading goal scorer on my 40+ adult hockey league.

That I can go three days without pooping if I'm out backpacking.

I can go a very long time without pee’ing, even if I need to.

Years of undiagnosed, now diagnosed, ADHD has trained me to be able to do this.

I can kick a gym ball, the large air inflated things, at a wall and land standing on top of it.

I can perform almost any activity in adidas slides, and have for the last 20 years of my life and have yet to twist my ankle. Hiking? No problem. Running? Totally cool!

I have succeeded in life, despite myself.

A. I got to drive a train when I was 9 (a family friend charted a Chicago Elevated train for his graduation party and as the youngest person on the train one of the operators said "hey you wanna drive the train" and so I got to drive the train for a bit

B. I went back to college a few years ago and managed to complete a 2 year degree with a 3.71 GPA while attending college full time, working 20+ hours per week at times as the sole breadwinner while my wife was pregnant with our second child and I had to commute about an hour each way to school and work. I literally started my second semester the day after we returned home from the hospital after his birth. Unlike driving a train I don't intend to recreate that experience ever again...

I can lick my elbow.

I almost never have to get up to pee during the night, because as long as I have some stored (in the balls, as we all know) I get the urge to go as soon as I start brushing my teeth.

I was on a show called Canada's Worst Driver. Hence my username

I stowed 600 packages an hour at amazon