this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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Lord of the memes

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The Lord of the rings memes communitiy on Lemmy. Share memes about Lord of the rings and be respectful.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 87 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Galadriel and Celeborn were married in the First Age and the story takes place at the end of the Third, so they were married for at least six and a half thousand years. During that time, they had one child. How often do you think they had sex?

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 42 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

All Celeborn has is Teleporno.

[–] rustydomino@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

I does my heart good to see more Silmarillion memes leak into lotrmemes.

[–] BumpingFuglies@lemmy.zip 31 points 10 months ago (3 children)

To be fair, his name is Celeborn. Can't blame him for being celibate.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 46 points 10 months ago (2 children)

No, I blame Tolkien and his literally making elves only bang for the purpose of procreation because he's a repressed Catholic weirdo sometimes.

Jokes on him, modern society has agreed elves are hos.

[–] Letstakealook@lemm.ee 27 points 10 months ago (3 children)

It would be prudent for a sentient species with such long lifespans to practice planned procreation rather than multiplying exponentially like a culture on a petri dish.

[–] herrvogel@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

There's the Elven Rope that's light as a feather and strong as steel. No reason there could not have been the Elven Condom that's thin and impermeable.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I'm sure they had them, but they're incompatible. Can't make Elven Ropes while wearing an Elven Condom.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 10 points 10 months ago

Fair enough, but I think we can agree that Tolkien elves were bad at planning

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 3 points 10 months ago

He could have just given them all narrow urethras like Hank Hill

[–] Pips@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Some would say 40k maybe went a little too far in the opposite direction with dark elves.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thats weirdly more of a Warhammer fantasy hold over what with dommy mommy Morathi, mind you unlike the Aeldar they didnt murderfuck orgy Slaanesh into existance.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 10 months ago

So they say...

[–] tenacious_mucus@sh.itjust.works 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

AkShUaLlY…. It’s pronounced “Kel-a-born”….but I still applaud your humor!

Most, if not all c’s are pronounced as hard K’s in Elvish (Elven?) languages.

It does get a little weird with places like Cirith Ungol, but there are, allegedly, older maps where it’s spelled Kirith.

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 1 points 9 months ago

Excuse me, his name is Teleporno. In original Quenya of course.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago

Successfully millions of times, unsuccessfully once.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

Once.

But elf sex is crazy weird. Like, they were still doing it while Frodo and the Fellowship were there.

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Dude it's elves who knows. She also slowes the passage of time by like MONTHS for a day, on top of being immortal it's pretty obnoxious. Maybe they only plow once a 1000 years, or maybe it's every day and they are only fertile once in thousands of years.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 43 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They did Celeborn so dirty in the movies.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)

At least he's in the movies, AMAZON.

[–] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)

2nd to last episode of this season pissed me off....

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

... why would you keep watching after season 1 when it was super clear they had no idea what to do with this project?

[–] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Curiosity, but at this point this show is entirely a bad fanfiction and has zero respect for the source material

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago

You made it all the way to the 2nd to last episode of season 2?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Gandalfy literally went away to chill peacefully for eons with his spicy ring.

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago (2 children)

And Gandalf wasn't alone. He was banging little Hobbit chicks for ages

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And we all know where he wore the ring.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh god, now I have the image of Gandalf's scrawny ass with a pencil dick

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago

*with a pencil dick on fire

[–] toast@retrolemmy.com 9 points 10 months ago

Filthy hobbitses

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

According to Amazon Prime she wants Elrond bad but he dun wan it!

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He does now. Which is weird since A) she's already got guy, and B) cause Elrond ends up with her daughter

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 11 points 10 months ago
[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago
[–] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago

Friendzone level.....

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

He's got a whole crew, Kale! I'm obviously speaking metaphorically!