675

submitted 1 month ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/lotrmemes@midwest.social

37 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] BumpingFuglies@lemmy.zip 31 points 1 month ago

To be fair, his name is Celeborn. Can't blame him for being celibate.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 46 points 1 month ago

No, I blame Tolkien and his literally making elves only bang for the purpose of procreation because he's a repressed Catholic weirdo sometimes.

Jokes on him, modern society has agreed elves are hos.

[-] Letstakealook@lemm.ee 27 points 1 month ago

It would be prudent for a sentient species with such long lifespans to practice planned procreation rather than multiplying exponentially like a culture on a petri dish.

[-] herrvogel@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

There's the Elven Rope that's light as a feather and strong as steel. No reason there could not have been the Elven Condom that's thin and impermeable.

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I'm sure they had them, but they're incompatible. Can't make Elven Ropes while wearing an Elven Condom.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 10 points 1 month ago

Fair enough, but I think we can agree that Tolkien elves were bad at planning

[-] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 3 points 1 month ago

He could have just given them all narrow urethras like Hank Hill

[-] Pips@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 month ago

Some would say 40k maybe went a little too far in the opposite direction with dark elves.

[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

Thats weirdly more of a Warhammer fantasy hold over what with dommy mommy Morathi, mind you unlike the Aeldar they didnt murderfuck orgy Slaanesh into existance.